WOMAN'S PERFECT BREAKFAST
She's sitting at the meza, jedwali with her gourmet coffee.
Her son is on the cover of the Wheaties box.
Her daughter is on the cover of Business Week.
Her boyfriend is on the cover of Playgirl.
And her husband is on the back of the maziwa carton.
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WOMEN'S REVENGE
"Cash, check au charge?" I asked, after folding items the woman wished to purchase.
As she fumbled for her wallet , I noticed a remote control for a televisheni set in her purse.
"So, do wewe always carry your TV remote?" I asked.
"No," she replied, "but my husband refused to come shopping with me,
and I figured this was the most evil thing I could do to him legally."
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UNDERSTANDING WOMEN
(A MAN'S PERSPECTIVE)
I know I'm not going to understand women.
I'll never understand how wewe can take boiling hot wax,
pour it onto your upper thigh, rip the hair out kwa the root,
and still be afraid of a spider.
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CIGARETTES AND TAMPONS
A man walks into a pharmacy and wanders up & down the aisles.
The sales girl notices him and asks him if she can help him.
He majibu that he is looking for a box of tampons for his wife.
She directs him down the correct aisle.
A few dakika later, he deposits a huge bag of cotton balls and a ball of string on the co unter.
She says, confused, "Sir, I thought wewe were looking for some tampons for your wife?
He answers, "You see, it's like this, yesterday, I sent my wife to the store
to get me a carton of cigarettes, and she came back with a tin of tobacco
and some rolling papers; cause it's sooo-ooo--oo-ooo much cheaper.
So, I figure if I have to roll my own ....... so does she.
(I figure this guy is the one on the maziwa carton!)
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WIFE VS. HUSBAND
A couple drove down a country road for several miles, not saying a word.
An earlier discussion had led to an argument and
neither of them wanted to concede their position.
As they passed a barnyard, "barnyard" of mules, goats, and pigs,
the husband asked sarcastically, "Relatives of yours?"
"Yep," the wife replied, "in-laws."
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
WORDS
A husband read an makala to his wife about how many words women use a day...
30,000 to a man's 15,000 .
The wife r eplied, "The reason has to be because we have to repeat everything to men...
The husband then turned to his wife and asked, "What?"
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
CREATION
A man alisema to his wife one day, "I don't know how wewe can be
so stupid and so beautiful all at the same time.
The wife responded, "Allow me to explain.
God made me beautiful so wewe would be attracted to me;
God made me stupid so I would be attracted to wewe !
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
The Silent Treatment
A man and his wife were having some problems at home
and were giving each other the silent treatment.
Suddenly, the man realized that the inayofuata day, he would need his wife to wake him
at 5:00 AM for an early morning business flight.
Not wanting to be the first to break the silence (and LOSE), he wrote on a piece of paper,
"Please wake me at 5:00 AM." He left it where he knew she would find it.
The inayofuata morning, the man woke up, only to discover it was 9:00 AM and he had missed his flight Furious, he was about to go and see why his wife hadn't wakened him,
when he noticed a piece of paper kwa the bed.
The paper said, "It is 5:00 AM. Wake up."
Men are not equipped for these kinds of contests.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
God may have created man before woman, but there is always a rough draft before the masterpiece .
makala
Link exchange
Exchange viungo with our website
Google
Effective Craps Strategy
Every human being on the earth must have a goal, the way wewe are winning goal and conditions, which ...
Los Angeles
Los Angeles
Controlling muscle pain spasm
Pain is inevitable - suffering is optional
Ballet dancewear is the fashionable choice
Dancewear up to 50% less than retail prices
Find the Perfect Spot to Hang Your Family Portrait
A family portrait can add beauty and life to your home. Where wewe hang a portrait can either add to ...
Buy to Let Insurance Information
If wewe are looking for Insurance, then take a look at our exclusive range on the website - for the p...
Car Hiring Options For Disabled Persons
Although it is believed that the persons with disabilities cannot drive, the car hire companies have...
My Site is Worth
She's sitting at the meza, jedwali with her gourmet coffee.
Her son is on the cover of the Wheaties box.
Her daughter is on the cover of Business Week.
Her boyfriend is on the cover of Playgirl.
And her husband is on the back of the maziwa carton.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
WOMEN'S REVENGE
"Cash, check au charge?" I asked, after folding items the woman wished to purchase.
As she fumbled for her wallet , I noticed a remote control for a televisheni set in her purse.
"So, do wewe always carry your TV remote?" I asked.
"No," she replied, "but my husband refused to come shopping with me,
and I figured this was the most evil thing I could do to him legally."
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
UNDERSTANDING WOMEN
(A MAN'S PERSPECTIVE)
I know I'm not going to understand women.
I'll never understand how wewe can take boiling hot wax,
pour it onto your upper thigh, rip the hair out kwa the root,
and still be afraid of a spider.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
CIGARETTES AND TAMPONS
A man walks into a pharmacy and wanders up & down the aisles.
The sales girl notices him and asks him if she can help him.
He majibu that he is looking for a box of tampons for his wife.
She directs him down the correct aisle.
A few dakika later, he deposits a huge bag of cotton balls and a ball of string on the co unter.
She says, confused, "Sir, I thought wewe were looking for some tampons for your wife?
He answers, "You see, it's like this, yesterday, I sent my wife to the store
to get me a carton of cigarettes, and she came back with a tin of tobacco
and some rolling papers; cause it's sooo-ooo--oo-ooo much cheaper.
So, I figure if I have to roll my own ....... so does she.
(I figure this guy is the one on the maziwa carton!)
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
WIFE VS. HUSBAND
A couple drove down a country road for several miles, not saying a word.
An earlier discussion had led to an argument and
neither of them wanted to concede their position.
As they passed a barnyard, "barnyard" of mules, goats, and pigs,
the husband asked sarcastically, "Relatives of yours?"
"Yep," the wife replied, "in-laws."
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
WORDS
A husband read an makala to his wife about how many words women use a day...
30,000 to a man's 15,000 .
The wife r eplied, "The reason has to be because we have to repeat everything to men...
The husband then turned to his wife and asked, "What?"
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
CREATION
A man alisema to his wife one day, "I don't know how wewe can be
so stupid and so beautiful all at the same time.
The wife responded, "Allow me to explain.
God made me beautiful so wewe would be attracted to me;
God made me stupid so I would be attracted to wewe !
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
The Silent Treatment
A man and his wife were having some problems at home
and were giving each other the silent treatment.
Suddenly, the man realized that the inayofuata day, he would need his wife to wake him
at 5:00 AM for an early morning business flight.
Not wanting to be the first to break the silence (and LOSE), he wrote on a piece of paper,
"Please wake me at 5:00 AM." He left it where he knew she would find it.
The inayofuata morning, the man woke up, only to discover it was 9:00 AM and he had missed his flight Furious, he was about to go and see why his wife hadn't wakened him,
when he noticed a piece of paper kwa the bed.
The paper said, "It is 5:00 AM. Wake up."
Men are not equipped for these kinds of contests.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
God may have created man before woman, but there is always a rough draft before the masterpiece .
makala
Link exchange
Exchange viungo with our website
Effective Craps Strategy
Every human being on the earth must have a goal, the way wewe are winning goal and conditions, which ...
Los Angeles
Los Angeles
Controlling muscle pain spasm
Pain is inevitable - suffering is optional
Ballet dancewear is the fashionable choice
Dancewear up to 50% less than retail prices
Find the Perfect Spot to Hang Your Family Portrait
A family portrait can add beauty and life to your home. Where wewe hang a portrait can either add to ...
Buy to Let Insurance Information
If wewe are looking for Insurance, then take a look at our exclusive range on the website - for the p...
Car Hiring Options For Disabled Persons
Although it is believed that the persons with disabilities cannot drive, the car hire companies have...
My Site is Worth
"ATTENTION TDI AND TDA FANS!!!! GUESS WAT... FOR TOTAL DRAMA ACTION EPISODE 14 IS COMING OUT IN 3WEEKS!!!!!!! I REPEAT 3 WEEKS!!!! OMIGOSH THIS IS BIG NEWS THE EXACT tarehe IS: September 1, 2009 in both canada and the usa every1 should watch!!!!!!"
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one in 10 of the world's population is left handed.
four out of five machintosh computer designers were left handed,and one out of four Apollo astronauts were left handers too.
zaidi famous left hander:
drew barry more
Angelina jolie
nicole kidman
Marilyn monroe
demi moore
Mary-kate and ashley olsen
julia roberts
Hans christian anderson
mark twain
Billy ray cyrus
celine dion
Pierce brosnan
jim carry
Hugh jackman
brad pitt
Michelangelo
leonardo davinci
Picasso
newton
Albert einstein
george bush
charlie chaplin
cary grant
napeleon bonaparte
bill gates
marie curie
rachel adams
mark spitz
four out of five machintosh computer designers were left handed,and one out of four Apollo astronauts were left handers too.
zaidi famous left hander:
drew barry more
Angelina jolie
nicole kidman
Marilyn monroe
demi moore
Mary-kate and ashley olsen
julia roberts
Hans christian anderson
mark twain
Billy ray cyrus
celine dion
Pierce brosnan
jim carry
Hugh jackman
brad pitt
Michelangelo
leonardo davinci
Picasso
newton
Albert einstein
george bush
charlie chaplin
cary grant
napeleon bonaparte
bill gates
marie curie
rachel adams
mark spitz
Ask everyone wewe meet, "Hot enough for you?"
Sing the "Barney" theme song as loud as wewe can.
If wewe see kids building a sand castle, say, "That's not a real castle!"
Every time when you're about to bata under the water, yell, "Down periscope!"
Go swimming in a full business suit. If people notice, act like they're the weirdos.
Put sea shell to your ear and announce to first person to pass by, "It's for you!" Repeat several times.
Throw jellyfish around.
Tune radio to all-news station and blast as loud as wewe can, then nod your head and snap your fingers like you're listening to some happenin' tunes.
Act like a sea gull.
Wear t-shirt that says, "I'm the coolest dude on this pathetic beach. No autographs please."
Sing the "Barney" theme song as loud as wewe can.
If wewe see kids building a sand castle, say, "That's not a real castle!"
Every time when you're about to bata under the water, yell, "Down periscope!"
Go swimming in a full business suit. If people notice, act like they're the weirdos.
Put sea shell to your ear and announce to first person to pass by, "It's for you!" Repeat several times.
Throw jellyfish around.
Tune radio to all-news station and blast as loud as wewe can, then nod your head and snap your fingers like you're listening to some happenin' tunes.
Act like a sea gull.
Wear t-shirt that says, "I'm the coolest dude on this pathetic beach. No autographs please."
Materials:
Petroleum Jelly
Eyeshadow,body shimmer, au pigments (for color)
small discardable and microwavable bowl
Discardable stirrer
lipgloss container with lids
Procedure:
1.Scoop some petroleum in the small bowl (more petroleum zaidi gloss!)
2.Microwave for 5 min au completely melted
3.Take out the petroleum and mix in the eyeshadow keep on putting zaidi till wewe reach your desired shade.
4.Mix well. Then pour in your mixture into the lipgloss container. Put in the freewer for 15-30 minutes.
Enjoy!!
Tip:to make flavored lip gloss add kool-aid instead (will stain lips).
Petroleum Jelly
Eyeshadow,body shimmer, au pigments (for color)
small discardable and microwavable bowl
Discardable stirrer
lipgloss container with lids
Procedure:
1.Scoop some petroleum in the small bowl (more petroleum zaidi gloss!)
2.Microwave for 5 min au completely melted
3.Take out the petroleum and mix in the eyeshadow keep on putting zaidi till wewe reach your desired shade.
4.Mix well. Then pour in your mixture into the lipgloss container. Put in the freewer for 15-30 minutes.
Enjoy!!
Tip:to make flavored lip gloss add kool-aid instead (will stain lips).
Okay, so I was sitting on the kitanda last night watching some rubbish televisheni onyesha and texting my boyfriend Liam. Anyway I think he'd had too much sugar that night cause he was all like 'I feel special when I wear my upinde wa mvua colored raincoat' and stuff. So then he text and was like 'I upendo wewe soooooo much' and so I was like 'I upendo wewe more' and he was like 'NO!' and I was like Yes! and he was like 'No cause... cause... cause well I'm getting wewe a birthday present! And so I'm like 'I'm getting wewe one first' (cause his birthday is before mine) and then like ten dakika later he's like damn. And so I'm like 'I win'.
THE END
THE END
A little motavational poem I found link. Enjoy. ;P
At age 4, success is...not peeing in your pants.
___At age 12, success is...having friends.
____At age 16, success is...having a driver's license.
_______At age 20, success is...having sex.
________At age 35, success is...having money.
________At age 50, success is...having money.
_______At age 60, success is...having sex.
_____At age 70, success is...having a driver's license.
___At age 75, success is...having friends.
At age 90, success is...not peeing in your pants.
At age 4, success is...not peeing in your pants.
___At age 12, success is...having friends.
____At age 16, success is...having a driver's license.
_______At age 20, success is...having sex.
________At age 35, success is...having money.
________At age 50, success is...having money.
_______At age 60, success is...having sex.
_____At age 70, success is...having a driver's license.
___At age 75, success is...having friends.
At age 90, success is...not peeing in your pants.
The European Union recently expanded to include a total of 25 member states. Some people are concerned,however,that problems will arise with anemployment,and that high influx of immigrants from the former Eastern block countries will cause difficulties for the the other member states. What are the positive and negative consequences of including former Eastern block countries in the EU? Which do wewe think are greater,the advantages au disadvantages,for the newly expanded,25-member EU?
^^PLEASE someone help me :'(
^^PLEASE someone help me :'(
THE BOYFRIEND GUIDE
1) She walks away from wewe mad *follow her*
2) She stares at your lips *kiss her*
3) When she pushes wewe au hits wewe *grab her and don't let go*
4) When she brushes your hand *grab hers*
5) If she's cold *give her your jacket...or hold her*
6) If she don't talk to wewe first *go talk to her*
7) When she goes to her Marafiki house *prank call her*
THE GIRLFRIEND GUIDE
1) If he pokes wewe *get closer*
2) If he want's a guys night out *don't complain*
3) If he doesn't text back *don't jump to conclusions*
4) If he doesn't say anything *don't think he doesn't care*
5) If he's ticklish *he's a keeper*
6) If he lets wewe wear his clothing *he likes wewe in his stuff*
7) If wewe are tired of waiting for him to make the first songesha *make it yourself*
1) She walks away from wewe mad *follow her*
2) She stares at your lips *kiss her*
3) When she pushes wewe au hits wewe *grab her and don't let go*
4) When she brushes your hand *grab hers*
5) If she's cold *give her your jacket...or hold her*
6) If she don't talk to wewe first *go talk to her*
7) When she goes to her Marafiki house *prank call her*
THE GIRLFRIEND GUIDE
1) If he pokes wewe *get closer*
2) If he want's a guys night out *don't complain*
3) If he doesn't text back *don't jump to conclusions*
4) If he doesn't say anything *don't think he doesn't care*
5) If he's ticklish *he's a keeper*
6) If he lets wewe wear his clothing *he likes wewe in his stuff*
7) If wewe are tired of waiting for him to make the first songesha *make it yourself*