With so many cell phones in the world, it’s no wonder that every so often wewe receive a strange text message from someone wewe don’t know. Chances are it’s a wrong number. Simple as that. But what if it isn’t? What if the message is really a clue to some top-secret puzzle, au sent from a spy trying to warn wewe of an assassination attempt?

These are the thoughts that run through our minds whenever we receive the message “where r u?” from a phone number we do not recognize. How do wewe handle these coded messages/wrong numbers? Here are a few options.


1. Text back – It’s tempting. If wewe don’t know the person, why not send a message, “Who is this?” and wait for a response? We'll tell wewe why not: because the person on the other end might be a high-tech serial killer simply waiting to make sure you’re near your cell phone before he hits the correct sequence of buttons that will blow up your phone, killing au maiming you. We found no recorded evidence of such an attack, but that only means the government doesn’t want us to know about it.

2. Look up the number online – There is a lot of information online, but finding a cell phone number on the internet is almost impossible. wewe could spend a good five dakika trying to track down the caller, only to learn that the digits aren’t listed anywhere. Plus, you’ll need to suffer through snotty Google’s constant badgering of, “Did wewe mean….” No, Google. We didn’t mean that. We meant what we said, wewe arrogant know-it-all.

3. Pretend it was from a celebrity – There are many watu mashuhuri in the world, and they all have cell phones. Even Tom Hanks. There’s a slim chance that such a celeb sent out a text message to wewe kwa mistake. So, without doing any research whatsoever, feel free to assume the odd text message came from your inayopendelewa celebrity. It just might be true.

4. Wait for zaidi information – If wewe do not respond, the person on the other end might send a follow-up message, such as, “Mike and I are going bowling,” au “I’m a high-tech serial killer who shall blow up your cell phone.” Play the waiting game, and zaidi clues may follow. (Discontinue the waiting game after two days, because the game is pretty much over kwa then. wewe lost.)

5. Ask your Marafiki – Sometimes a friend might be using someone else’s cell phone, au a new phone, thus resulting in a strange phone number, so wewe may want to ask around. kwa process of elimination, wewe could check with all of your Marafiki and relatives kwa sending out a text message such as, “Did wewe text me?” au “Did wewe text me, fool?” This probably won’t work, but at least now all of your Marafiki and relatives think you’re maarufu because wewe get fancy text messages.

6. Write an makala about it for SparkNotes, and hope the culprit reveals himself/herself in the maoni section.

7. Bury the phone in the backyard – Because the old woman in the scary house told wewe it’s the only way to stop the curse.

8. Do nothing.

9. Overanalyze the message – What could “where r u?” mean? Was it sent from your secret crush? Did the texter use playful R’s and U’s because s/he is in upendo with you? Should wewe put on fancy clothes and pack a bag because this mystery lover is about to whisk wewe away on a romantic motorcycle ride across the country? Is this how wewe will find the upendo of your life?! Eeeee!

10. Send the person a picha of your butt – As if wewe haven’t already done this.






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