bila mpangilio Article: 21 Funny Status Messages PT 2

6

posted by simpleplan

really don't hate you, I'm just severely allergic to stupidity

I'm not having a battle of wits with you, I refuse to fight a unarmed opponent

Who ever says "words can't hurt you" has never been hit in the face with a dictionary

People say money can't buy happiness. They LIE. Money can buy a jet-ski. wewe ever see anyone unhappy on a jet-ski? Well?

Wants to know...If guns kill people, can I blame misspelled words on my pencil?

Kids in back seats cause accidents, accidents in back seats cause kids

Everyone's entitled to be stupid but wewe are abusing the privilege

Why yes, I do frequently burst out in song

I mean Come on, really who took my crayons??

I'm not a stalker I'm just curious... kwa the way your out of maziwa

Wonders why they tell wewe to smile for your drivers license... You're not going to be smiling when a cop pulls wewe over

Going to sue Red ng'ombe for false advertisement and medical bills. They looked at me funny when I explained that I should have had wings when I jumped..

The wrapper on the toilet paper roll read "100% recycled". Really stop and think about that.

Of course I'll try to see things from your point of view, as soon as wewe pull your head out of your ass.

"Strap-on" is "no-parts" spelled backwards. Coincidence?

Dares wewe to press ALT + F4

Knows that the nyasi is always greener, when it's rolled up in a paper

Is wondering if wewe choke a smurf, what color does it turn???

I am going to Consumer Affairs. I bought a packet of M&M;'s and it was full of W's

I thought of wewe today. I threw up in my mouth a little. I'm sure it was just a coincidence.

So sorry I missed you, I ran out of bullets.

deathding, Tdinoahiscute4 and 4 others like this

Annacrombie lol i changed my status to I'm not a stalker I'm just curious... By the way your out of milk

sashlow i liked the sixth one best

dsprtpenguin haha me too :)

4

emo thing

added by zanhar1

5

Whatever Happened to Bob the Duck?

added by DoctorSpud

Source: Me

7

32 bila mpangilio mottos

posted by Flora_Swift

#=Recommended
~=Really Lame

1.    It’s hard to be discouraged when every path we explore leads nowhere. #

2.    Love is like a perfume. wewe can’t pour it on someone else without getting a few drops on yourself.

3.    Even the smallest person can change the course of the future. #

4.    Live each siku like it was your last. The past is gone and tomorrow isn’t guaranteed.

5.    Follow your passion and success will follow you.

6.    Where there’s life, there’s hope. #

7.    In...

4

Fan-fiction

posted by SeeUV3

Phil

Phan – fiction : hujambo this is my first “phan”-fiction and I will first warn wewe if wewe do not like gay/bi people LEAVE NOW AND DON’T READ. Also Dan and Phil are NOT really together (but they did say they were both bi) this is just a simple fan-fiction and if wewe want zaidi chapters of it I will gladly make one zaidi (suggestions wanted). Sorry if this is mildly au severely creepy. ENJOY (I hope).
Chapter 1: Feelings

It was a cool autumn siku in Manchester when Dan and Phil decided they would songesha from Manchester to London. “Phil” cried Dan. “Its 12:00pm get up sleepy head!” Phil...

3

Funny Hints That People Don't Like Your best Friend

posted by KateKicksAss

Credit: link

How do wewe know people don't like your friend? Oh, I don't know, how about the fact that...

1. Your mom can never remember your friend's name. She even guesses. "Oh, is your friend... uh... Tasha coming over?" Your friend's name is not Tasha. It's Kate.

2. Your Dad always seems to disappear when Kate comes over. "Well, I should go paint the karakana door now." "Now?" "Yep, no time to waste. Just have to pick up a Kate of paint... I mean, a can of paint from the store."

3. Your little brother rolls his eyes at her name. "Kate's coming over? Does she have to?"

4. Your mom defends Kate to...

11

101 things we learn from video games

posted by alismouha

1. It’s OK to kill people.

2. Dying doesn’t really matter much either.

3. If you’re 14, have hair covering your eyes and live in a small village, man up, because you’re going to have to save the world.

4. Medicine became obsolete in the mwaka 2004, when doctors noticed that hiding behind a ukuta caused human health to regenerate to 100%.

5. Eating stuff found on the floor is good for wewe – your parents were wrong.

6. Sometime in the future, Earth will be menaced kwa hordes of alien spacecraft that fly in predictable patterns and can be killed in one hit. The logical course of action will...

6

COOL TRIVIA wewe DIDN'T KNOW!

posted by ShiningsTar542

Here are some pretty amazing facts that wewe probably didn't know:

Originally, Coca-Cola was green. It was an herbal medicine used for dizziness and stomach pain.

It is impossible to sneeze with your eyes open.

The height of the pyramid of Cheops is equal to one millionth of the distance separating the Earth from the Sun....

Why do we say OK? In the Civil War, when troops returned to camp after a battle, they carried a banner with the number of dead written on it. No dead = 0K (an English acronym for "0 Killed". Hence, OK to say that 'all is well'.

The youngest pope in history was only 11.

Chimpanzees and dolphins are the only wanyama capable of recognizing themselves in a mirror.

Pretty amazing right? What other facts could wewe add?

3

AstridGoof8219's Best and Worst sinema orodha

posted by AstridGoof8219

This is my orodha of sinema from best to worst. Please take notice that this makala is fully based on opinion and isn't meant to persuade readers to like au dislike any of the sinema that are listed.

My Favorites: The Best
19. The Little Mermaid III: Ariel's Beginning-So cute and emotionally touching.

18. Alice in Wonderland (1951 Disney Version)-The movie is so imaginative and really brings back so many memories.

17. Kung Fu Panda-It's funny as hell!

16. Stitch The Movie-I just find the whole other experiments thing to be really cool.

15. Shrek Forever After-"Do The Roar!" haha.

14. The...

6

things to do in a store

posted by karpach_13

JUST IN CASE YOUR BORED

1. Get boxes of condoms and randomly put them in people's carts when they don't realize it.
2. Set all the alarm clocks to go off at ten dakika intervals throughout the day.
3. Make a trail of machungwa, chungwa juisi on the floor, leading to the restrooms.
4. Walk up to an employee and tell him in an official tone, "I think we've got a Code 3 in house wares," and see what happens.
5. Tune all the radios to a polka station; then turn them all off and turn the volumes to "10."
6. Challenge other customers to duels with tubes of gift wrap.
7. Put M&M's on layaway.
8. songesha "Caution: Wet...

5

things to do in a movie theater

posted by karpach_13

Things to do in a movie theater
1. Inform the entire theatre that wewe have to go to the bathroom. Wait a dakika au so and tell everyone that wewe feel better now.

2. Applaud.

3. Laugh loudly during serious and sad scenes.

4. Sing along with the backround music.

5. Whenever someone opens a door yell "Don't go in there, he's got a gun!"

6. Snore.

7. Yell "Hey, down in front!" even if wewe are sitting in the front.

8. Make shadow puppets.

9. If you've seen the movie before, say what's going to happen right before it happens. Act amazed at your wonderful foresight.

10. Walk around behind the screen....

7

The Waffle Thief

posted by awesomebrowny

There was a VERY picky family and they got on EVERYBODY'S nerves. One siku brother Billy saw sister Lily's waffles just...sitting there.So while she and brother Bob were talking to their mom fighting about who aliiba brother Joe's waffles the other day, so Billy decided to take Lilly's waffles and run. Billy ran as fast as he could into his room shut the door and started to eat the waffles.Billy's dad came in and asked what he was doing...as soon as he saw the waffles he closed the door and alisema "u know u should really try not 2 make a big commotion while stealing waffles,but then again gimmie...