THINK YOU'RE HAVING A BAD DAY. Check out these actual cases:
moto authorities in California found a corpse in a burned-out section
of forest while assessing the damage done kwa a forest fire. The deceased
male was dressed in a full wet suit, complete with scuba tanks on his
back, flippers, and face mask.
A postmortem test revealed that the man died not from burns, but from
massive internal injuries. Dental records provided a positive
identification. Investigators then set about to determine how a fully
clothed diver ended up in the middle of a forest fire.
It was revealed that on the siku of the fire, the man went diving off
the coast, some 20 miles from the forest. The moto fighters, seeking to control
the moto as quickly as possible, had called in a fleet of helicopters with very
large dip buckets. Water was dipped from the ocean and emptied at the site
of the forest fire.
wewe guessed it. One dakika our diver was making like Flipper in the
Pacific, the next, he was doing the breast stroke in a moto dip bucket
300 feet in the air.
Some days it just doesn't pay to get out of bed.
___________________________________________
Still think you're having a bad day?
A man was working on his motorcycle on the patio; his wife was nearby
in the kitchen. While racing the engine, the motorcycle accidentally
slipped into gear. The man, still l holding onto the handlebars, was
dragged along as it burst through the glass patio doors.
His wife, hearing the crash, ran in the room to find her husband cut
and bleeding, the motorcycle, and the shattered patio door. She called for
an ambulance, magari ya wagonjwa and, because the house sat on a fairly large hill, went
down the several flights of stairs to meet the paramedics and escort them to
her husband.
While the attendants were inapakia her husband, the wife managed to
right the motorcycle and push it outside. She also quickly blotted up
the spilled gasoline with some paper towels and tossed them into the
toilet.
After being treated and released, the man returned home, looked at the
shattered patio door and the damage done to his motorcycle. He went
into the bathroom and consoled himself with a cigarette while attending to
his business. About to stand, he flipped the butt between his legs.
The wife, who was in the kitchen, heard a loud explosion and her
husband screaming. Finding him lying on the bathroom floor with his trousers
blown away and burns on his buttocks, legs and groin, she once again
phoned for an ambulance. The same paramedic crew was dispatched. As the
paramedics carried the man down the stairs to the ambulance, magari ya wagonjwa they asked
the wife how he had come to burn himself. She told them. They started
laughing so hard, one slipped. They dropped the stretcher and dumped
the husband out. He fell down the remaining stairs, breaking his arm.
____________________________________________
Still having a bad day? Just remember, it could be worse...
The average cost of rehabilitating a muhuri after the Exxon Valdez oil
spill in Alaska was $80,000. At a special ceremony, two of the most
expensively saved wanyama were being released back into the wild amid
cheers and applause from onlookers. A dakika later, in full view, a
killer nyangumi ate them both.
_____________________________________________
Still think wewe are having a bad day?
A woman came nyumbani to find her husband in the jikoni shaking
frantically, almost in a dancing frenzy, with some kind of wire running from his
waist towards the electric kettle. Intending to jolt him away from the
deadly current, she whacked him with a handy plank of wood, breaking his arm
in two places. Up to that moment, he had been happily listening to his
walkman.
_______________________________________________
STILL think you’re having a bad day?
Two animal rights protesters were protesting at the cruelty of sending
pigs to a slaughterhouse in Bonn, Germany. Suddenly, all two thousand
pigs broke loose and escaped through a broken fence, stampeding madly.
The two helpless protesters were trampled to death.
___________________________________________
What?! STILL having a bad day?
Iraqi terrorist Khay Rahnajet didn't pay enough postage on a letter
bomb. It came back with "return to sender" stamped on it. Forgetting it was
the bomb, he opened it and was blown to bits.
There now, feeling better?
moto authorities in California found a corpse in a burned-out section
of forest while assessing the damage done kwa a forest fire. The deceased
male was dressed in a full wet suit, complete with scuba tanks on his
back, flippers, and face mask.
A postmortem test revealed that the man died not from burns, but from
massive internal injuries. Dental records provided a positive
identification. Investigators then set about to determine how a fully
clothed diver ended up in the middle of a forest fire.
It was revealed that on the siku of the fire, the man went diving off
the coast, some 20 miles from the forest. The moto fighters, seeking to control
the moto as quickly as possible, had called in a fleet of helicopters with very
large dip buckets. Water was dipped from the ocean and emptied at the site
of the forest fire.
wewe guessed it. One dakika our diver was making like Flipper in the
Pacific, the next, he was doing the breast stroke in a moto dip bucket
300 feet in the air.
Some days it just doesn't pay to get out of bed.
___________________________________________
Still think you're having a bad day?
A man was working on his motorcycle on the patio; his wife was nearby
in the kitchen. While racing the engine, the motorcycle accidentally
slipped into gear. The man, still l holding onto the handlebars, was
dragged along as it burst through the glass patio doors.
His wife, hearing the crash, ran in the room to find her husband cut
and bleeding, the motorcycle, and the shattered patio door. She called for
an ambulance, magari ya wagonjwa and, because the house sat on a fairly large hill, went
down the several flights of stairs to meet the paramedics and escort them to
her husband.
While the attendants were inapakia her husband, the wife managed to
right the motorcycle and push it outside. She also quickly blotted up
the spilled gasoline with some paper towels and tossed them into the
toilet.
After being treated and released, the man returned home, looked at the
shattered patio door and the damage done to his motorcycle. He went
into the bathroom and consoled himself with a cigarette while attending to
his business. About to stand, he flipped the butt between his legs.
The wife, who was in the kitchen, heard a loud explosion and her
husband screaming. Finding him lying on the bathroom floor with his trousers
blown away and burns on his buttocks, legs and groin, she once again
phoned for an ambulance. The same paramedic crew was dispatched. As the
paramedics carried the man down the stairs to the ambulance, magari ya wagonjwa they asked
the wife how he had come to burn himself. She told them. They started
laughing so hard, one slipped. They dropped the stretcher and dumped
the husband out. He fell down the remaining stairs, breaking his arm.
____________________________________________
Still having a bad day? Just remember, it could be worse...
The average cost of rehabilitating a muhuri after the Exxon Valdez oil
spill in Alaska was $80,000. At a special ceremony, two of the most
expensively saved wanyama were being released back into the wild amid
cheers and applause from onlookers. A dakika later, in full view, a
killer nyangumi ate them both.
_____________________________________________
Still think wewe are having a bad day?
A woman came nyumbani to find her husband in the jikoni shaking
frantically, almost in a dancing frenzy, with some kind of wire running from his
waist towards the electric kettle. Intending to jolt him away from the
deadly current, she whacked him with a handy plank of wood, breaking his arm
in two places. Up to that moment, he had been happily listening to his
walkman.
_______________________________________________
STILL think you’re having a bad day?
Two animal rights protesters were protesting at the cruelty of sending
pigs to a slaughterhouse in Bonn, Germany. Suddenly, all two thousand
pigs broke loose and escaped through a broken fence, stampeding madly.
The two helpless protesters were trampled to death.
___________________________________________
What?! STILL having a bad day?
Iraqi terrorist Khay Rahnajet didn't pay enough postage on a letter
bomb. It came back with "return to sender" stamped on it. Forgetting it was
the bomb, he opened it and was blown to bits.
There now, feeling better?
"When There's Nothing Left"
When there's nothing left to give
I will give wewe zaidi than I ever gave before
When there's nothing left left to say
I'll say it all again, but until then...
And I'll give wewe my heart, say I upendo you
Say I upendo you
And I'll give wewe my heart, say I upendo you
Oh, cause I do, Jesus
No muziki to play so I sing wewe my own song
Come on and sing along
When there's nothing that remains
wewe still stay the same
You're looking so strong
And I'll give wewe my heart, say I upendo you
Say I upendo you
And I'll give wewe my heart, say I upendo you
Oh, cause I do
And I'll give wewe my heart, say I upendo you
I'm gonna, I'm gonna say I upendo you
And I'll give wewe my heart, say I upendo you
Oh, cause I do, sweet Jesus
When there's nothing left to give
I will give wewe zaidi than I ever gave before
I'm gonna give wewe my heart
I'm gonna give wewe my moyo
When there's nothing left to give
I will give wewe zaidi than I ever gave before
When there's nothing left left to say
I'll say it all again, but until then...
And I'll give wewe my heart, say I upendo you
Say I upendo you
And I'll give wewe my heart, say I upendo you
Oh, cause I do, Jesus
No muziki to play so I sing wewe my own song
Come on and sing along
When there's nothing that remains
wewe still stay the same
You're looking so strong
And I'll give wewe my heart, say I upendo you
Say I upendo you
And I'll give wewe my heart, say I upendo you
Oh, cause I do
And I'll give wewe my heart, say I upendo you
I'm gonna, I'm gonna say I upendo you
And I'll give wewe my heart, say I upendo you
Oh, cause I do, sweet Jesus
When there's nothing left to give
I will give wewe zaidi than I ever gave before
I'm gonna give wewe my heart
I'm gonna give wewe my moyo
Two little boys were playing together. One little boy saw a nut on the ground. Before he could pick it the other boy took it.
The first boy demanded, “Give me the nut. It’s mine. I only saw it first”.
The other boy replied, “It’s mine. I only took it”.
This lead to a quarrel between these two little boys. Just then a tall boy came that way. Upon seeing the quarrel between the boys, he said, “Give me the nut and I’ll settle your quarrel”.
He mgawanyiko, baidisha the nut into two parts. He took out the fruit-seed. He gave one half-shell to one boy and the other half-shell to the other. He put the matunda seed into his mouth and said, “This is for settling your quarrel”.
MORAL : When two people quarrel some one else gains.
The first boy demanded, “Give me the nut. It’s mine. I only saw it first”.
The other boy replied, “It’s mine. I only took it”.
This lead to a quarrel between these two little boys. Just then a tall boy came that way. Upon seeing the quarrel between the boys, he said, “Give me the nut and I’ll settle your quarrel”.
He mgawanyiko, baidisha the nut into two parts. He took out the fruit-seed. He gave one half-shell to one boy and the other half-shell to the other. He put the matunda seed into his mouth and said, “This is for settling your quarrel”.
MORAL : When two people quarrel some one else gains.
1. Looking at a map is an inside joke.
2. wewe use the British curse of chakula and bad tea.
3. wewe wear a scarf and when your teachers tell wewe to take it off, wewe say KOLKOLKOL!
4. wewe imagine your inayopendelewa Hetalia characters imba your inayopendelewa songs.
5. Hetalia = your mind.
6. Buono nyanya buono nyanya buono buono ooh tomato.
7. wewe give people names that apply to their traits au what they eat (ex. potato bastard nyanya bastard hamburger jerk)
8. When someone mentions a country, wewe say "Yeah, I know! He/she is awesome!"
9. History class is fanfiction class.
10. wewe are kusoma this list.
(note: i'm sorry for the crappy list. This is my first makala on fanpop)
2. wewe use the British curse of chakula and bad tea.
3. wewe wear a scarf and when your teachers tell wewe to take it off, wewe say KOLKOLKOL!
4. wewe imagine your inayopendelewa Hetalia characters imba your inayopendelewa songs.
5. Hetalia = your mind.
6. Buono nyanya buono nyanya buono buono ooh tomato.
7. wewe give people names that apply to their traits au what they eat (ex. potato bastard nyanya bastard hamburger jerk)
8. When someone mentions a country, wewe say "Yeah, I know! He/she is awesome!"
9. History class is fanfiction class.
10. wewe are kusoma this list.
(note: i'm sorry for the crappy list. This is my first makala on fanpop)
What a kiss means.....
+ Kiss on the stomach = I’m ready
+ Kiss on the Forehead = I hope we’re together forever
+ Kiss on the Ear = You're my everything
+ Kiss on the Cheek = We’re friends
+ Kiss on the Hand = I adore you
+ Kiss on the Neck = We belong together
+ Kiss on the Shoulder = I want you
+ Kiss on the Lips = I upendo you
+Laughing while Kissing = I am completely comfortable with you
What the gesture means…
+ Holding Hands = We definitely upendo each other
+ Slap on the Butt = That’s mine
+ Holding on tight = I don’t want to let go
+ Looking into each other’s Eyes = I just plain upendo you
+ Playing with Hair = Tell me wewe upendo me
+ Arms around the Waist = I upendo wewe too much to let go
–ADVICE!–
+ Dont ask for a kiss, take one.
+If wewe were thinking about someone while kusoma this, you’re definitely in Love
+ Kiss on the stomach = I’m ready
+ Kiss on the Forehead = I hope we’re together forever
+ Kiss on the Ear = You're my everything
+ Kiss on the Cheek = We’re friends
+ Kiss on the Hand = I adore you
+ Kiss on the Neck = We belong together
+ Kiss on the Shoulder = I want you
+ Kiss on the Lips = I upendo you
+Laughing while Kissing = I am completely comfortable with you
What the gesture means…
+ Holding Hands = We definitely upendo each other
+ Slap on the Butt = That’s mine
+ Holding on tight = I don’t want to let go
+ Looking into each other’s Eyes = I just plain upendo you
+ Playing with Hair = Tell me wewe upendo me
+ Arms around the Waist = I upendo wewe too much to let go
–ADVICE!–
+ Dont ask for a kiss, take one.
+If wewe were thinking about someone while kusoma this, you’re definitely in Love
both deadlox and vampire get here now before i start typing bila mpangilio letters!
well seems like i have to!
asdfghjkl qwertyuiop zxcvbnm
as bila mpangilio as i can get!
my friend is going to die tomorrow from excitement.
not telling yew why!
zaidi bila mpangilio letters!
sjfhgdcvhjdchgfjvkgdhjkfhujdfhuieryfvbhvbnmfbuietfgjhcjhgfjhdfklsjcjvjfuruchjbhfhjcuvufhhchvjxksieuiubvhchxjzuisuhbhchshyeughvhxhsuru hhdhjdb
gv fhgbvhygngfdshjklvhfdkjghkjdhgjkfhbjkfvhjkbghfkjdghksflgujiofhuiofsghjklhfkjbghkfh
gfhgkflgjkfhgkjfhgirehuigfhrdkhjgkfhvncnioryoiyhgbnf
gfkhvfjdksahgirhgauiygtfkjgbvkcvhidoshgasdhjkvgfhjakdfghuirabnvkackjdhyguibjkfalruigahjkfahvjkl
deadlox
vampirer04
canal
kitkitty12
other bila mpangilio people!
well seems like i have to!
asdfghjkl qwertyuiop zxcvbnm
as bila mpangilio as i can get!
my friend is going to die tomorrow from excitement.
not telling yew why!
zaidi bila mpangilio letters!
sjfhgdcvhjdchgfjvkgdhjkfhujdfhuieryfvbhvbnmfbuietfgjhcjhgfjhdfklsjcjvjfuruchjbhfhjcuvufhhchvjxksieuiubvhchxjzuisuhbhchshyeughvhxhsuru hhdhjdb
gv fhgbvhygngfdshjklvhfdkjghkjdhgjkfhbjkfvhjkbghfkjdghksflgujiofhuiofsghjklhfkjbghkfh
gfhgkflgjkfhgkjfhgirehuigfhrdkhjgkfhvncnioryoiyhgbnf
gfkhvfjdksahgirhgauiygtfkjgbvkcvhidoshgasdhjkvgfhjakdfghuirabnvkackjdhyguibjkfalruigahjkfahvjkl
deadlox
vampirer04
canal
kitkitty12
other bila mpangilio people!