The following dumb laws are, au were at some point, actually laws in the United States listed below. Now, before wewe go any further do know that I'm not a lawyer nor am I claiming any responsibilty if wewe bail off and do something stupid au try using something here as a defense in court (rofl at that).
Alabama
In Jasper, it is illegal for a husband to beat his wife with a stick larger in diameter than his thumb.
It is illegal to wear a fake mustache that causes laughter in church.
It is illegal for a driver to be blindfolded while operating a vehicle.
It is illegal to play Dominos on Sunday.
Putting salt on a railroad track may be punishable kwa death.
Alaska
In Fairbanks, it is illegal to feed alcoholic beverages to a moose.
While it is legal to shoot bears, waking sleeping kubeba for the purpose of taking a photograph is prohibited.
Arizona
In Tucson, it is illegal for women to wear pants.
In Globe, it is illegal to play cards in the mitaani, mtaa with a Native American.
In Glendale, it is illegal to drive a car in reverse.
In Nogales, it is illegal to wear suspenders.
Arkansas
A man can legally beat his wife, but not zaidi than once a month.
In Fayetteville, it is illegal to kill "any living creature".
Flirtation between men and women on the streets of Little Rock may result in a 30-Day jail term.
California
wanyama are banned from mating publicly within 1,500 feet of a tavern, school, au place of worship.
Women may not drive in a house coat.
In Pacific Groove, "molesting" butterflies can result in a $500 fine.
It is illegal to set a mousetrap without a hunting license.
In San Francisco, it is illegal to wipe one's car with used underwear.
It is a misdemeanor to shoot at any kind of game from a moving vehicle, unless the target is a whale.
Colorado
In Logan County, it is illegal for a man to kiss a woman while she is asleep.
Connecticut
It is illegal to dispose used razor blades.
In New Britain, the speed for moto trucks is 25 m.p.h. even when going to a fire.
In Hartford, it is illegal for a man to kiss his wife on Sunday.
Delaware
It is illegal to fly over any body of water, unless one is carrying sufficient supplies of chakula and drink.
Florida
If an tembo is left tied to a parking meter, the parking fee has to be paid just as it would for a vehicle.
In Miami, it is illegal for a man to wear any kind of strapless gown.
Unmarried women who parachute on Sundays may be jailed.
When having sex, only the missionary position is legal.
In Sarasota, it is illegal to sing while wearing a bathing suit.
Georgia
While Georgia operates its own lottery, it "protects" its citizens kwa making it illegal to promote a private lottery.
Members of the state assembly cannot be ticketed for speeding while the state assembly is in session.
Donkeys may not be kept in bathtubs.
No one may carry an ice cream cone in their back pocket on Sunday.
Hawaii
It is illegal to appear in public wearing only swimming trunks.
It is illegal to own a nguchiro without a permit.
Idaho
wewe may not samaki on a camel's back.
Illinois
In Chicago, it is illegal to take a French poodle to the opera.
According to state law, it is illegal to speak English. The officially recognized language is "American".
Indiana
Monkeys are forbidden to smoke cigarettes in South Bend.
It is illegal for a liquor store to sell cold soft drinks.
Iowa
State law forbids any establishment from charging admission to see a one-armed kinanda player.
In Fort Madison, firemen are required to practice for 15 dakika before attending a fire.
Kansas
Prohibits shooting rabbits from a motorboat.
Kentucky
It is illegal to remarry the same man four times.
Louisiana
In New Orleans, moto trucks are required kwa law to stop at all red lights.
It is considered "simple assault'' to bite someone in New Orleans; it is "aggravated assault" if the biter has false teeth.
It is against the law to gargle in public.
It is illegal to rob a bank and then shoot at the bank teller with a water pistol.
Maine
In Waterville, it is illegal to blow one's nose in public.
Maryland
In Halethorpe, it is illegal to kiss for zaidi than one second.
Massachusetts
In Salem, even married couples are forbidden from sleeping in the nude in rented rooms.
It is illegal to wear a goatee without a license.
In Boston, it is illegal to take a bath unless one has been ordered kwa a physician to do so.
In 1659, the state outlawed Christmas.
Michigan
In Clawson, it is legal for a farmer to "sleep with his pigs, cows, horses, goats, and chickens."
A state law stipulates that a woman's hair legally belongs to her husband.
In Detroit, it is illegal to make upendo in a car unless it is parked on your property.
wewe may not swear in front of women and children in the state of Michigan.
In Port Huron, the speed for ambulances in 20 m.p.h.
Under state law, dentists are officially classified as "mechanics."
Minnesota
Women may face up to 30 days in jail if they impersonate Santa Claus.
In Minneapolis, double-parkers can be put on a chain gang.
Every man in Brainerd is required kwa law to grow a beard.
It's illegal to tease skunks.
Mississippi
In Truro, a would-be groom must "prove himself manly" prior to marriage kwa hunting and killing either six blackbirds au three crows.
Missouri
It is illegal to have oral sex.
Single men between the ages of twenty-one and fifty must pay an annual tax of one dollar (enacted 1820).
Montana
Prostitution is considered a "crime against the family".
It is a felony for a wife to open her husband's mail.
It is illegal for married women to go fishing alone on Sundays, and illegal for unmarried women to samaki alone at all.
It is illegal for a man and a woman to have sex in any other position other than missionary style.
Seven au zaidi indians are considered a raiding au war party and it is legal to shoot them.
Nebraska
It is illegal for bar owners to sell bia unless they are simultaneously brewing a kettle of soup.
Nevada
It is illegal to drive a ngamia on the highway.
It's still "legal" to hang someone for shooting your dog on your property.
New Hampshire
wewe cannot sell the clothes wewe are wearing to pay off a gambling debt.
It is illegal to pick seaweed up off of the beach.
Any cattle that crosses state roads must be fitted with a device to gather its feces.
On Sundays citizens may not relieve themselves while looking up.
New Jersey
Spray paint may not be sold without a ilitumwa sign warning juveliles of the penalty for creating graffiti.
It is illegal to wear a bullet-proof vest while committing a murder.
It is against the law for a man to knit during the fishing season.
New Mexico
It's forbidden for a female to appear unshaven in public.
Hunting is prohibited in Mountain View Cemetery.
New York
A fine of $25 can be levied for flirting. This old law specifically prohibits men from turning around on any city mitaani, mtaa and looking "at a woman in that way." A sekunde conviction for a crime of this magnitude calls for the violating male to be forced to wear a "pair of horse-blinders" wherever and whenever he goes outside for a stroll.
It is against the law to throw a ball at someone's head for fun.
A license must be purchased before hanging clothes on a clothesline.
The penalty for jumping off a building is death.
North Dakota
bia and pretzels can't be served at the same time in any bar au restaurant.
It is illegal to lie down and fall asleep with your shoes on.
Ohio
It is illegal to samaki for whales on Sunday.
It is illegal to get a samaki drunk.
Pennsylvania
A person is not eligible to become Governor if he/she has participated in a duel.
Texas
It is illegal to take zaidi than three sips of bia at a time while standing.
It is illegal to drive without windshield wipers. wewe don't need a windshield, but wewe must have the wipers.
It is illegal for one to shoot a buffalo from the sekunde story of a hotel.
It is illegal to maziwa another person's cow.
A recently passed anticrime law requires criminals to give their victims 24 hours notice, either orally au in writing, and to explain the nature of the crime to be committed.
The entire Encyclopedia Britannica is banned in Texas because it contains a formula for making bia at home.
Wisconsin
wewe must manually flush all urinals in a building.
siagi substitutes are not allowed to be served in state prisons.
Alabama
In Jasper, it is illegal for a husband to beat his wife with a stick larger in diameter than his thumb.
It is illegal to wear a fake mustache that causes laughter in church.
It is illegal for a driver to be blindfolded while operating a vehicle.
It is illegal to play Dominos on Sunday.
Putting salt on a railroad track may be punishable kwa death.
Alaska
In Fairbanks, it is illegal to feed alcoholic beverages to a moose.
While it is legal to shoot bears, waking sleeping kubeba for the purpose of taking a photograph is prohibited.
Arizona
In Tucson, it is illegal for women to wear pants.
In Globe, it is illegal to play cards in the mitaani, mtaa with a Native American.
In Glendale, it is illegal to drive a car in reverse.
In Nogales, it is illegal to wear suspenders.
Arkansas
A man can legally beat his wife, but not zaidi than once a month.
In Fayetteville, it is illegal to kill "any living creature".
Flirtation between men and women on the streets of Little Rock may result in a 30-Day jail term.
California
wanyama are banned from mating publicly within 1,500 feet of a tavern, school, au place of worship.
Women may not drive in a house coat.
In Pacific Groove, "molesting" butterflies can result in a $500 fine.
It is illegal to set a mousetrap without a hunting license.
In San Francisco, it is illegal to wipe one's car with used underwear.
It is a misdemeanor to shoot at any kind of game from a moving vehicle, unless the target is a whale.
Colorado
In Logan County, it is illegal for a man to kiss a woman while she is asleep.
Connecticut
It is illegal to dispose used razor blades.
In New Britain, the speed for moto trucks is 25 m.p.h. even when going to a fire.
In Hartford, it is illegal for a man to kiss his wife on Sunday.
Delaware
It is illegal to fly over any body of water, unless one is carrying sufficient supplies of chakula and drink.
Florida
If an tembo is left tied to a parking meter, the parking fee has to be paid just as it would for a vehicle.
In Miami, it is illegal for a man to wear any kind of strapless gown.
Unmarried women who parachute on Sundays may be jailed.
When having sex, only the missionary position is legal.
In Sarasota, it is illegal to sing while wearing a bathing suit.
Georgia
While Georgia operates its own lottery, it "protects" its citizens kwa making it illegal to promote a private lottery.
Members of the state assembly cannot be ticketed for speeding while the state assembly is in session.
Donkeys may not be kept in bathtubs.
No one may carry an ice cream cone in their back pocket on Sunday.
Hawaii
It is illegal to appear in public wearing only swimming trunks.
It is illegal to own a nguchiro without a permit.
Idaho
wewe may not samaki on a camel's back.
Illinois
In Chicago, it is illegal to take a French poodle to the opera.
According to state law, it is illegal to speak English. The officially recognized language is "American".
Indiana
Monkeys are forbidden to smoke cigarettes in South Bend.
It is illegal for a liquor store to sell cold soft drinks.
Iowa
State law forbids any establishment from charging admission to see a one-armed kinanda player.
In Fort Madison, firemen are required to practice for 15 dakika before attending a fire.
Kansas
Prohibits shooting rabbits from a motorboat.
Kentucky
It is illegal to remarry the same man four times.
Louisiana
In New Orleans, moto trucks are required kwa law to stop at all red lights.
It is considered "simple assault'' to bite someone in New Orleans; it is "aggravated assault" if the biter has false teeth.
It is against the law to gargle in public.
It is illegal to rob a bank and then shoot at the bank teller with a water pistol.
Maine
In Waterville, it is illegal to blow one's nose in public.
Maryland
In Halethorpe, it is illegal to kiss for zaidi than one second.
Massachusetts
In Salem, even married couples are forbidden from sleeping in the nude in rented rooms.
It is illegal to wear a goatee without a license.
In Boston, it is illegal to take a bath unless one has been ordered kwa a physician to do so.
In 1659, the state outlawed Christmas.
Michigan
In Clawson, it is legal for a farmer to "sleep with his pigs, cows, horses, goats, and chickens."
A state law stipulates that a woman's hair legally belongs to her husband.
In Detroit, it is illegal to make upendo in a car unless it is parked on your property.
wewe may not swear in front of women and children in the state of Michigan.
In Port Huron, the speed for ambulances in 20 m.p.h.
Under state law, dentists are officially classified as "mechanics."
Minnesota
Women may face up to 30 days in jail if they impersonate Santa Claus.
In Minneapolis, double-parkers can be put on a chain gang.
Every man in Brainerd is required kwa law to grow a beard.
It's illegal to tease skunks.
Mississippi
In Truro, a would-be groom must "prove himself manly" prior to marriage kwa hunting and killing either six blackbirds au three crows.
Missouri
It is illegal to have oral sex.
Single men between the ages of twenty-one and fifty must pay an annual tax of one dollar (enacted 1820).
Montana
Prostitution is considered a "crime against the family".
It is a felony for a wife to open her husband's mail.
It is illegal for married women to go fishing alone on Sundays, and illegal for unmarried women to samaki alone at all.
It is illegal for a man and a woman to have sex in any other position other than missionary style.
Seven au zaidi indians are considered a raiding au war party and it is legal to shoot them.
Nebraska
It is illegal for bar owners to sell bia unless they are simultaneously brewing a kettle of soup.
Nevada
It is illegal to drive a ngamia on the highway.
It's still "legal" to hang someone for shooting your dog on your property.
New Hampshire
wewe cannot sell the clothes wewe are wearing to pay off a gambling debt.
It is illegal to pick seaweed up off of the beach.
Any cattle that crosses state roads must be fitted with a device to gather its feces.
On Sundays citizens may not relieve themselves while looking up.
New Jersey
Spray paint may not be sold without a ilitumwa sign warning juveliles of the penalty for creating graffiti.
It is illegal to wear a bullet-proof vest while committing a murder.
It is against the law for a man to knit during the fishing season.
New Mexico
It's forbidden for a female to appear unshaven in public.
Hunting is prohibited in Mountain View Cemetery.
New York
A fine of $25 can be levied for flirting. This old law specifically prohibits men from turning around on any city mitaani, mtaa and looking "at a woman in that way." A sekunde conviction for a crime of this magnitude calls for the violating male to be forced to wear a "pair of horse-blinders" wherever and whenever he goes outside for a stroll.
It is against the law to throw a ball at someone's head for fun.
A license must be purchased before hanging clothes on a clothesline.
The penalty for jumping off a building is death.
North Dakota
bia and pretzels can't be served at the same time in any bar au restaurant.
It is illegal to lie down and fall asleep with your shoes on.
Ohio
It is illegal to samaki for whales on Sunday.
It is illegal to get a samaki drunk.
Pennsylvania
A person is not eligible to become Governor if he/she has participated in a duel.
Texas
It is illegal to take zaidi than three sips of bia at a time while standing.
It is illegal to drive without windshield wipers. wewe don't need a windshield, but wewe must have the wipers.
It is illegal for one to shoot a buffalo from the sekunde story of a hotel.
It is illegal to maziwa another person's cow.
A recently passed anticrime law requires criminals to give their victims 24 hours notice, either orally au in writing, and to explain the nature of the crime to be committed.
The entire Encyclopedia Britannica is banned in Texas because it contains a formula for making bia at home.
Wisconsin
wewe must manually flush all urinals in a building.
siagi substitutes are not allowed to be served in state prisons.
"When There's Nothing Left"
When there's nothing left to give
I will give wewe zaidi than I ever gave before
When there's nothing left left to say
I'll say it all again, but until then...
And I'll give wewe my heart, say I upendo you
Say I upendo you
And I'll give wewe my heart, say I upendo you
Oh, cause I do, Jesus
No muziki to play so I sing wewe my own song
Come on and sing along
When there's nothing that remains
wewe still stay the same
You're looking so strong
And I'll give wewe my heart, say I upendo you
Say I upendo you
And I'll give wewe my heart, say I upendo you
Oh, cause I do
And I'll give wewe my heart, say I upendo you
I'm gonna, I'm gonna say I upendo you
And I'll give wewe my heart, say I upendo you
Oh, cause I do, sweet Jesus
When there's nothing left to give
I will give wewe zaidi than I ever gave before
I'm gonna give wewe my heart
I'm gonna give wewe my moyo
When there's nothing left to give
I will give wewe zaidi than I ever gave before
When there's nothing left left to say
I'll say it all again, but until then...
And I'll give wewe my heart, say I upendo you
Say I upendo you
And I'll give wewe my heart, say I upendo you
Oh, cause I do, Jesus
No muziki to play so I sing wewe my own song
Come on and sing along
When there's nothing that remains
wewe still stay the same
You're looking so strong
And I'll give wewe my heart, say I upendo you
Say I upendo you
And I'll give wewe my heart, say I upendo you
Oh, cause I do
And I'll give wewe my heart, say I upendo you
I'm gonna, I'm gonna say I upendo you
And I'll give wewe my heart, say I upendo you
Oh, cause I do, sweet Jesus
When there's nothing left to give
I will give wewe zaidi than I ever gave before
I'm gonna give wewe my heart
I'm gonna give wewe my moyo
Two little boys were playing together. One little boy saw a nut on the ground. Before he could pick it the other boy took it.
The first boy demanded, “Give me the nut. It’s mine. I only saw it first”.
The other boy replied, “It’s mine. I only took it”.
This lead to a quarrel between these two little boys. Just then a tall boy came that way. Upon seeing the quarrel between the boys, he said, “Give me the nut and I’ll settle your quarrel”.
He mgawanyiko, baidisha the nut into two parts. He took out the fruit-seed. He gave one half-shell to one boy and the other half-shell to the other. He put the matunda seed into his mouth and said, “This is for settling your quarrel”.
MORAL : When two people quarrel some one else gains.
The first boy demanded, “Give me the nut. It’s mine. I only saw it first”.
The other boy replied, “It’s mine. I only took it”.
This lead to a quarrel between these two little boys. Just then a tall boy came that way. Upon seeing the quarrel between the boys, he said, “Give me the nut and I’ll settle your quarrel”.
He mgawanyiko, baidisha the nut into two parts. He took out the fruit-seed. He gave one half-shell to one boy and the other half-shell to the other. He put the matunda seed into his mouth and said, “This is for settling your quarrel”.
MORAL : When two people quarrel some one else gains.
