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 bila mpangilio karatasi za kupamba ukuta
karatasi la kupamba ukuta
posted by AlxanderRfan
I don’t know what makes wewe so dumb but it really works.

Anybody who told wewe to be yourself simply couldn’t have aliyopewa wewe worse advice…

Hi there, I’m a human being! What are you?

Shouldn’t wewe have a license for being that ugly?

Don’t let wewe mind wander – it’s far too small to be let out on its own.

Are wewe always this stupid au are wewe making a special effort today?

Sure, I’ve seen people like wewe before – but I had to pay an admission.

If wewe took an IQ test, the results would be negative.

Sure, I’d upendo to help wewe out…now, which way did wewe come in?

Brains aren’t everything....
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posted by zanesaaomgfan
1. Ask him why did he marry a woman like your mom

2. Tell him wewe met a guy in school

3. Sing a song he hates

4(reply to number 3) When he plays a song he likes, ask: "What awful music. How do wewe listen to that crap?"

5. When he is driving you(anywhere), constantly ask "where are we going?"

6. Call him kwa his name[Not so risky, always done it as a kid!]

7. When he lectures you, after he finishes it, ask him: "Ever heard of breath mint?"

8. Tell him that Justin Bieber is your inayopendelewa guy[If wewe hate Bieber, go with Cody Simpson au some who wewe like ALLOT!]

9. Come nyumbani saying wewe found your true...
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added by Rodz
Source: desktopnexus
posted by x-menobsessed26
There used to be a mitaani, mtaa named after Chuck Norris, but it was changed because nobody crosses Chuck Norris and lives

Every time Chuck Norris looks into a mirror it breaks. Even glass is not stupid enough to get between Chuck Norris and Chuck Norris.

Chuck Norris can strangle wewe with a cordless phone.

Chuck Norris has already been to Mars; that's why there are no signs of life.

Chuck Norris died 20 years ago, Death just hasn't built up the courage to tell him yet.

Brett Farve can throw a football 50 yds. Chuck Norris can throw Brett Farve even farther.

Some magicans can walk on water, Chuck Norris...
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posted by karpach_14
A single drop of sweat from Chuck Norris was found to quench the thirst of an entire african village for 23 straight days. Subsequently, an olympic athlete from that village was disqualified from his event for testing positive for performance enhancing drugs.

Chuck Norris can read lady Gaga's poker face.

Chuck Norris says the alphabet faster backwards then wewe can say it fowards.

When Chuck Norris goes to sleep, he doesn't dream he lives it.

In an alternate universe, Chuck Norris is just a myth. However, he pwns people there anyways.

When Chuck Norris drinks beer, the bia gets drunk.

Ninjas want...
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posted by d3ath_3at3r
In a pub chemsha bongo the other siku I Lost kwa one point. The swali was, "where do women mostly have curly hair?" Apparently, it's Africa.


One of the other maswali was to name two things commonly found in cells.
It appears that Nigerians and Jamaicans is not the correct answer.


I've heard that apple has scrapped their plans for the new children's iPod, after realizing that iTouch Kids is not a good product name.


There's a new Muslim clothing duka that opened in Toronto but I've been banned from it, after asking to look at some mshambuliaji, mlipuaji wa bomu jackets.


You can say lots of bad things about pedophiles,...
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posted by RulerL0rd
Ghetto Names

Mostly maarufu with the poorer sections of the communities in the United States, ghetto names are becoming zaidi common.
These are some ghetto names sent to us kwa our readers:

Aalissah , Aarionda , AbbyYoYo , Abcd , Abrianna , Adaizala , Aereana , Ajavalon , Akeebu , Akwante , Alamarion , Alashawndre , Alashema , Alezeisha , Aliciandra , Alveonta , Amabufu , Amanisha , Ambrisha , Amereazanisha , Amiracle , Amonteosha , Ananchalant , Anfernee , Angenique , Annestonisha , Antonyishia , Antwanae , Antwanique , Antwonisha , Anukware , Aquamaquisha , Aquanasia , Aquanetta , Aquaniqua ,...
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Found this on Google. Hope it makes ya laugh.

1. Set all the alarm clocks to go off in 10-minute intervals

2. Walk up to an employee and tell him/her in an official tone, “Code 3 in housewares,…”and see what happens.

3. Go to the Service dawati and ask to put a bag of M&M’s on lay away.

4. Find one of the workers who is making a pyramid au a display of something and as soon as they are finished with it, ask for the thing that’s on the bottom and have a panic attack until they give it to you.

5. Get on the loud speaker and declare a “Going Out of Business Sale, All Items 99% Off”

6....
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added by KateKicksAss
added by Rodz
Source: google.com
added by ladolcevita
Source: Hmmm... Um,well EW.com, Everglow, Mugglenet, me!, forgot the last
1.Rubber bands last longer when refrigerated.

2.Peanuts are one of the ingredients of dynamite.

3.There are 293 ways to make change for a dollar.

4.The average person's left hand does 56% of the typing.

5.A papa is the only samaki that can blink with both eyes.

6.There are zaidi chickens than people in the world.

7.Two-thirds of the world's mbilingani, biringani is grown in New Jersey.

8.The longest one-syllable word in the English language is "screeched."

9.On a Canadian two dollar bill, the flag flying over the Parliament building is an American flag.

10.All of the clocks in the movie "Pulp Fiction" are stuck on...
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Barbra Streisand

Woowoowoowoowoowoowoowoowoowoowoowoowoowoowoowoowoowoow
oowoowoowoowoowoowoowoowoowoowoowoowoowoowoowoowoowoowo
owoowoowoowoowoo

Barbra Streisand

Woowoowoowoowoowoowoowoowoowoowoowoowoowoowoowoowoowoow
oowoowoowoowoowoowoowoowoowoowoowoowoowoowoowoowoowoowo
owoowoowoowoowoo

Barbra Streisand

Woowoowoowoowoowoowoowoowoowoowoowoowoowoowoowoowoowoow
oowoowoowoowoowoowoowoowoowoowoowoowoowoowoowoowoowoowo
owoowoowoowoowoo

Barbra Streisand

Woowoowoowoowoowoowoowoowoowoowoowoowoowoowoowoowoowoow
oowoowoowoowoowoowoowoowoowoowoowoowoowoowoowoowoowoowo
owoowoowoowoowoowoowoowoowoowoowoowoowoowoowoowoowoowoo...
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INT. A SHOPPING MALL WE'VE USED BEFORE - DAY.

The mall. Teenage girls bury their heads in piles of clothes and giggle. A Sale Sign goes up and they scream. Mothers drag kids kwa their heels. As the people pass by, they glance uncomfortably at something off-screen then hurry along. The children point, faces uncomprehending.

Pan over to find ZIM and GIR in a dark corner, near a waste receptacle, dressed as clowns. ZIM just stares out evilly at the passing people. GIR simply stares, holding balloons.

ZIM (to GIR)
Look at them, GIR. THEY think we are clowns. But we are not clowns.

GIR gasps in shock....
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Ashimoto ni kaze hikari ga matta nichijou ni dake tsumotta bun no kiseki ga
Miagereba kumo tooku e no kiro osanai hi no jibun yori mo hayaku
Yukidoke o matte ita kodomo no wewe ni hashiru
Hikaru shizuku tobihaneteru
Asu no deai sae kizukazu ni iru kisetsu-tachi no naka de kagayaite iru yo

Sekaijuu ni wa donna omoi mo kanau hi ga kuru
Zutto tabi o shite yuku bokura ni chiisana sei-tachi maioriru

Deatta basho mo midori o nashite yuruyaka ni mo nagareru toki ni yudanete
Haruka ni aogu machinami no roji osanai hi no jibun ga mada kakeru
Ano yuuhodou kara kikoete kuru kigi no koe ya hibi no zawameki...
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posted by cute20k
Okay, I don't really cry a lot but these nukuu are all a little sad. They're in no particular order.

1. "A million words wouldnt bring wewe back, I know because I tried. Neither would a million tears, I know because I've cried."

2. "When you're in upendo and wewe get hurt, it's like a cut, it will heal with time but the scars will never fade"

3. "What happens when he's your prince charming, but you're not his cinderella?"

4. "The worst feeling in the world is giving all the upendo wewe have and knowing it will never be returned"

5. "You probably won't remember me. I'm probably ancient history. I'm one...
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1. Pretend to fall down and wait till someone says "Are wewe OK?" Then say "I'M A MONSTER!!" And see what happens
2. Walk up to a complete stranger and say "Hey, I liked your video on youtube!"
3. If it's Halloween go to the costume section and grab a Halloween bag and go up to a bila mpangilio person and say "Trick au treat!"
3. Go to a crowded aisle and if wewe know it sing the song "Party like a rock star"
4. Follow a customer and put in items in hisher gari and say "Ready for checkout!"
5. When wewe see a old guy then point and say "Its Shakira!!"
6. Go up to an old man and say "MOMMY!! I HAVEN'T...
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posted by spunkyonyx
hujambo guys, found some interesting and strange facts, some are just facts I have known a long time ago(school, wandering around websites), others are ones that I have found, I apply the chanzo if available. Any others wewe may want to add up feel free to do so. Enjoy!

1) Coca-cola was once green.
It was green because it was accidentally carbonated when a clerk squirted syrup into the wrong glass.

2)Barbie doll measurements if she were life size: 39-23-33. Wow... she's cut from the team.

3)Intelligent people have zaidi zinc and copper in their hair. *Checks... Woot!

4)You blink about 84 million times...
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posted by KateKicksAss
Credit: I found these online, and they made me smile. As wewe can see, I clearly didn’t make them up. Thought of course, If I had, I wouldn’t be claiming they were someone elses…Never mind..

Our bombs are smarter than the average high school student. At least they can find Kuwait.
-A. Whitney Brown

When they asked George Washington for his ID, he just took out a quarter.
- Stephen Wright.

Did wewe ever walk in a room and forget why wewe walked in? I think that’s how mbwa spend their lives.
–Sue Murphy

I don’t kill flies but I like to mess with their minds. I hold them above globes. They freak...
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posted by TVD_rocks
10. Sing “Bad Touch” kwa the Bloodhound Gang in your head whenever he is near.

9.Ask him if he thinks Robert Pattinson is hot. When he says no, tell him he has low self esteem issues

8. Tell him the relationship he is having with Bella is practically paedophilia and he could be sent to jail for it.

7.End every argument with “Bite me, Edward.”

6. Whenever he complains au argues, reply with “What are wewe gonna do Edward? Go to Italy?”

5.Ask him to be a gangsta with wewe for Halloween

4. onyesha him the twilight trailer. Ask him if he thinks that he looks like a pedophile au if it's just you.

3. Tell him his hair isn’t bronze, it’s ginger, and he should stop denying himself – he’s a ranga.

2. Whenever he leaves a room au says goodbye, get down on your knees and beg him not to go, not again.

1. Take his silver cell phone and change the ringtone to “Like a Virgin” kwa Madonna.