:D

[Family Guy] S01E05 - A Hero Sits inayofuata Door #178
Lois: Meg, you're a sweet, beautiful girl, he'll come around.
Meg: That's such a mom answer.
Lois: Well, have wewe tried inaonyesha him the goods? How's that for a mom answer?
Meg: Creepy.
Contributed kwa funnytvquotes.com



[Family Guy] S03E07 - Lethal Weapons #183
Peter: Excuse me, is your refrigerator running? Because if it is, it probably runs like wewe - very homosexually.
Contributed kwa funnytvquotes.com



[Family Guy] S03E10 - samaki Out Of Water #181
Auctioner: We'll open this auction with this pair of panties confiscated from a prostitute.
Quagemire: Fifty...

Hi my name is Amanda and this is how to service 7th grade. On the first siku of 7th grade I was so excited to see my Marafiki after summer yay. Well the first siku of 7th grade really sucked but at least I got to see my friends. Yes it’s time to leave school. But I did not see one of my Marafiki Hannah that sucks because she went to Luray middle. Well I’m nyumbani and I just talked to Hannah on the phone. She alisema “I might come back to page inayofuata semester”. “Sweet school is so different without one of my best friends” I said. “If I don’t come back don’t be mad at me”. “I won’t...

EMOTICONS Happy‏
^o^ ☺ ☻ ت ヅ ^.^ ツ ッ シ Ü ≧◡≦ ᵔᴥᵔ ^^ (°⌣°)
٩(^‿^)۶ ٩(-̮̮̃•̃) ◕‿◕ ٩(●̮̮̃•̃)۶ ٩(-̮̮̃-̃)۶ ٩(͡๏̮͡๏)۶ =^.^=
(•‿•) ó‿ó ¢‿¢ ٩◔‿◔۶ ಠ◡ಠ ༺‿༻ (^L^)
♥‿♥ ◙‿◙ ●‿● ^( '‿' )^ ^‿^ ❀‿❀ 乂◜◬◝乂
{◕ ◡ ◕} (｡◕‿◕｡) ┌( ಠ‿ಠ)┘ ◃┆◉◡◉┆▷ (▰˘◡˘▰)
< (^^,) > q(❂‿❂)p <【☯】‿【☯】> |◔◡◉| ⊂◉‿◉つ
✌.ʕʘ‿ʘʔ.✌ ۹⌤_⌤۹ ⎝⎲⏝⏝⎲⎠ ⎝⓿⏝⓿⎠ ⎝⏠⏝⏠⎠
⎝ᄽ⏝⏠⎠...

France
Honhonhon! Bonjour English man! Grow a real dick and don't fuck with Peter Pan! I'm Francis Bonnefoy and everyone loves me! wewe call me a wanker, cause mine is the biggest! Fuck off with your kid brother, cause USUK surely hits it!

Britain
SHUT UP! wewe DAMN FROG FACE! The fact that your on the same continent is a disgrace! All wewe are is a bloody wanker, my rhymes hit hard, like Captain Hook's anchor! Your just a bloody whore, I can't stand your face no more, your such a prick! Even Sealand has zaidi dick! I have an army of Red Coats! wewe have shitty little boats! Waiting till the last minute?...

Mom:Okay kids!(4 kids)get in here!I got news!
Kennedy:What is it?
Mom:Me and your dad are going on a date
*grasshopper sound*
Mom:so wewe guy will need a babysitter!


*10 dakika later the baby sitter came*
Mom:Hello!I'm Amy!
Babysitter:I'm Ashley!
Mom:DARELL!Get your butt in here!
*Mom and Dad leave*
Ashley:Hi kids!I'm your babysitter Ashley!
kids:HI!
Kid:I'm Amber!I'm four!
Ashley:Hi Amber!*ruffles hair*cute!
Amber:Never...touch...ME!!!
Ashley:OH kay!
Kid:I'm Zack!I'm 9
Ashley:Hello!


*59 dakika later*
Amber:I wuv chai parties!!
Ashley*Walks in*Hey Amber what are wewe doing?
Amber:Having a chai party!
Ashley:Can I...

NAME: Greg Bulmash

SEX: Not yet. Still waiting for the right person.

DESIRED POSITION: Company's President au Vice President. But seriously, whatever's available. If I was in a position to be picky, I wouldn't be applying here in the first place.

DESIRED SALARY: $185,000 a mwaka plus stock options and a Michael Ovitz style severance package. If that's not possible, make an offer and we can haggle.

EDUCATION: Yes.

LAST POSITION HELD: Target for middle management hostility.

SALARY: Less than I'm worth.

MOST NOTABLE ACHIEVEMENT: My incredible collection of stolen pens and post-it notes.

REASON FOR LEAVING:...

This bata walks into a convenience store and asks the clerk, "Do wewe have any grapes?" The clerk says no, and the bata leaves.

The inayofuata day, the bata returns and asks, "Do wewe have any grapes?" The clerk again says no, and the bata leaves.

The siku after that, the bata walks in the store again and asks "Do wewe have any grapes?" The clerk screams at the duck, "You've come in here the past two days and asked if we had any grapes. I told wewe no every time that we don't have any grapes! I swear if wewe come back in here again, and ask for grapes, I'll nail your webbed feet to the floor!!"

The duck...

1. Every siku at school is the same
2. wewe never know if your braids look digusting au not
3. wewe are so used to never talking that if somebody says something to you, never know how to react
4. wewe would like to think that people notice au even think about wewe but wewe are really just the big ugly quiet black girl nobody knows au cares about
5. wewe worry people will write nasty maoni on your fanpop makala that is obvioustly meant to vent your feeling out
6. On the weekend all wewe do is watch tv and sleep and play with your cat
7. When wewe only really have like 3 Marafiki at school and 2 of them...

The onyesha SpongeBob linked to attention problems and learning


The onyesha SpongeBob SquarePants is pointed kwa a study which indicates that the viewing for only nine dakika of the onyesha may cause short-term attention problems and learning in children four years.

Such problems have been observed in a study of 60 randomly selected children to watch SpongeBob au Caillou, in which picha change zaidi slowly, au to draw in nine minutes.

Immediately after this activity, children were tested for mental function. And those who watched SpongeBob scored lower than others.

Previous studies had already established...

I'm putting two funny makala together in one, hope wewe enjoy it!

Some fun rules
1. I can please only one person per day. Today is not your day. Tomorrow isn't looking good either.
2. I upendo deadlines. I especially like the whooshing sound they make as they go flying by.
3. Am I getting smart with you? How would wewe know?
4. I'd explain it to you, but your brain would explode.
5. Someday we'll look back on all this and plow into a parked car.
6. There are very few personal problems that cannot be solved through a suitable application of high explosives.
7. Tell me what wewe need, and I'll tell you...

previously on the Evil Teddy Bear: Tina Unlocked the door to their house and they all walked inside then Peter put the Teddy kubeba on the self after that they all got hungery so Tina went to the shops to get some chakula while Peter and Jenni were playing Uno they heard a crash in the jikoni and ran over there they got a big shock when they saw how messy the jikoni was when Tina got nyumbani she saw what the jikoni was like and she got a big shock herself then while they all were thinking of a plan to see who did this to their nyumbani the Teddy kubeba was hiding in the jikoni cupboard as it chuckled...

15) They told me at the blood bank that this might happen.

14) This is just a 15 dakika power nap like they raved about in the last
time-management course wewe sent me to.

13) Whew! Guess I left the juu off of the Liquid Paper.

12) I was meditating on the mission statement and envisioning a new paradigm.

11) This is one of the seven habits of highly effective people.

10) I was testing the keyboard for drool resistance.

9) I was doing a highly specific Yoga exercise to relieve work-related stress.
Are wewe discriminating against people who practice yoga?

8) I was doing a "Stress Level Elimination Exercise...

dear diary, today was the worst - first a car ran over my lunch so i had to rob somebody's lunch money, sekunde i got a F on my history paper, third mrs perrywinkle slaped me with her ukanda serosly this is the 21 centery your not aloud to slap teenagers with belts, and forth when i got nyumbani my history paper fell out of my bag and my mother picked it up and started kusoma it so what did i do, i rushed upstairs into my room 1 sekunde later i hear my mother scream off the juu of her lungs LILLY GET wewe BUT DOWN HERE...NOW!!!!!!!! god i said, so i go down. what is this she alisema uuummm my homework...

..... bila mpangilio Facts .....

If wewe have 3 quarters, 4 dimes, and 4 pennies, wewe have $1.19. wewe also have the largest amount of money in coins without being able to make change for a dollar.
The numbers '172' can be found on the back of the U.S. $5 dollar bill in the bushes at the base of the lincoln Memorial.


President Kennedy was the fastest bila mpangilio speaker in the world with upwards of 350 words per minute.


In the average lifetime, a person will walk the equivalent of 5 times around the equator.


Odontophobia is the fear of teeth.


The 57 on Heinz ketchup bottles represents the number of varieties...

Barbra Streisand

Woowoowoowoowoowoowoowoowoowoowoowoowoowoowoowoowoowoow
oowoowoowoowoowoowoowoowoowoowoowoowoowoowoowoowoowoowo
owoowoowoowoowoo

Barbra Streisand

Woowoowoowoowoowoowoowoowoowoowoowoowoowoowoowoowoowoow
oowoowoowoowoowoowoowoowoowoowoowoowoowoowoowoowoowoowo
owoowoowoowoowoo

Barbra Streisand

Woowoowoowoowoowoowoowoowoowoowoowoowoowoowoowoowoowoow
oowoowoowoowoowoowoowoowoowoowoowoowoowoowoowoowoowoowo
owoowoowoowoowoo

Barbra Streisand

Woowoowoowoowoowoowoowoowoowoowoowoowoowoowoowoowoowoow
oowoowoowoowoowoowoowoowoowoowoowoowoowoowoowoowoowoowo
owoowoowoowoowoowoowoowoowoowoowoowoowoowoowoowoowoowoo...

INT. A SHOPPING MALL WE'VE USED BEFORE - DAY.

The mall. Teenage girls bury their heads in piles of clothes and giggle. A Sale Sign goes up and they scream. Mothers drag kids kwa their heels. As the people pass by, they glance uncomfortably at something off-screen then hurry along. The children point, faces uncomprehending.

Pan over to find ZIM and GIR in a dark corner, near a waste receptacle, dressed as clowns. ZIM just stares out evilly at the passing people. GIR simply stares, holding balloons.

ZIM (to GIR)
Look at them, GIR. THEY think we are clowns. But we are not clowns.

GIR gasps in shock....