RanDom

I don’t know what makes wewe so dumb but it really works.

Anybody who told wewe to be yourself simply couldn’t have aliyopewa wewe worse advice…

Hi there, I’m a human being! What are you?

Shouldn’t wewe have a license for being that ugly?

Don’t let wewe mind wander – it’s far too small to be let out on its own.

Are wewe always this stupid au are wewe making a special effort today?

Sure, I’ve seen people like wewe before – but I had to pay an admission.

If wewe took an IQ test, the results would be negative.

Sure, I’d upendo to help wewe out…now, which way did wewe come in?

Brains aren’t everything....

1. Ask him why did he marry a woman like your mom

2. Tell him wewe met a guy in school

3. Sing a song he hates

4(reply to number 3) When he plays a song he likes, ask: "What awful music. How do wewe listen to that crap?"

5. When he is driving you(anywhere), constantly ask "where are we going?"

6. Call him kwa his name[Not so risky, always done it as a kid!]

7. When he lectures you, after he finishes it, ask him: "Ever heard of breath mint?"

8. Tell him that Justin Bieber is your inayopendelewa guy[If wewe hate Bieber, go with Cody Simpson au some who wewe like ALLOT!]

9. Come nyumbani saying wewe found your true...

There used to be a mitaani, mtaa named after Chuck Norris, but it was changed because nobody crosses Chuck Norris and lives

Every time Chuck Norris looks into a mirror it breaks. Even glass is not stupid enough to get between Chuck Norris and Chuck Norris.

Chuck Norris can strangle wewe with a cordless phone.

Chuck Norris has already been to Mars; that's why there are no signs of life.

Chuck Norris died 20 years ago, Death just hasn't built up the courage to tell him yet.

Brett Farve can throw a football 50 yds. Chuck Norris can throw Brett Farve even farther.

Some magicans can walk on water, Chuck Norris...

A single drop of sweat from Chuck Norris was found to quench the thirst of an entire african village for 23 straight days. Subsequently, an olympic athlete from that village was disqualified from his event for testing positive for performance enhancing drugs.

Chuck Norris can read lady Gaga's poker face.

Chuck Norris says the alphabet faster backwards then wewe can say it fowards.

When Chuck Norris goes to sleep, he doesn't dream he lives it.

In an alternate universe, Chuck Norris is just a myth. However, he pwns people there anyways.

When Chuck Norris drinks beer, the bia gets drunk.

Ninjas want...

I found this on the internet.

1.    Smile
2.    Laugh
3.    Run your fingers through your hair
4.    Touch them gently on the arm/shoulder
5.    Give them a hug
6.    Tease them
7.    Complement their clothes
8.    Say, "It seems like forever since I last saw you"
9.    Whisper
10.    Offer them a blanket au kanzu, koti if it's cold
11.    Offer to buy them a drink
12.    Lean...

In a pub chemsha bongo the other siku I Lost kwa one point. The swali was, "where do women mostly have curly hair?" Apparently, it's Africa.


One of the other maswali was to name two things commonly found in cells.
It appears that Nigerians and Jamaicans is not the correct answer.


I've heard that apple has scrapped their plans for the new children's iPod, after realizing that iTouch Kids is not a good product name.


There's a new Muslim clothing duka that opened in Toronto but I've been banned from it, after asking to look at some mshambuliaji, mlipuaji wa bomu jackets.


You can say lots of bad things about pedophiles,...

Ghetto Names

Mostly maarufu with the poorer sections of the communities in the United States, ghetto names are becoming zaidi common.
These are some ghetto names sent to us kwa our readers:

Aalissah , Aarionda , AbbyYoYo , Abcd , Abrianna , Adaizala , Aereana , Ajavalon , Akeebu , Akwante , Alamarion , Alashawndre , Alashema , Alezeisha , Aliciandra , Alveonta , Amabufu , Amanisha , Ambrisha , Amereazanisha , Amiracle , Amonteosha , Ananchalant , Anfernee , Angenique , Annestonisha , Antonyishia , Antwanae , Antwanique , Antwonisha , Anukware , Aquamaquisha , Aquanasia , Aquanetta , Aquaniqua ,...

Found this on Google. Hope it makes ya laugh.

1. Set all the alarm clocks to go off in 10-minute intervals

2. Walk up to an employee and tell him/her in an official tone, “Code 3 in housewares,…”and see what happens.

3. Go to the Service dawati and ask to put a bag of M&M’s on lay away.

4. Find one of the workers who is making a pyramid au a display of something and as soon as they are finished with it, ask for the thing that’s on the bottom and have a panic attack until they give it to you.

5. Get on the loud speaker and declare a “Going Out of Business Sale, All Items 99% Off”

6....

Think
1.    1
Realization. Even though it may seem impossible, the truth is, nothing is impossible. If wewe keep thinking it's impossible, then it will be. Have faith
2
Analyze the situation. Create a orodha of "pros" and "cons" to help wewe better understand why you're seeking upendo au acceptance from this person.
2.    3
Don't worry about things wewe can't help. Acknowledge the impossibility as something that is totally out of your hands (ex: marriage, age, sexuality, hang-ups) and know that if something is meant to be, it will be.
3.    4
Don't...