smile.jpg MOUTain dew

(A/N) Still has gayness! cussing! and sex! so enjoy biggums! ^-^ xXx


~Ty's POV~

A week after Alice found out i was gay she invited Jason and I for some coffee.

"We should go, it would be fun" Jason alisema hugging me from behind.

"Coffee with my sister would be fun?" I asked grabbing his hands perched on my collarbone.

"Yeah, now that she knows, we can be ourselves, and we're pretty fucking awesome people" Jason alisema letting go and sitting on the couch.

I sat beside him, "Well, we are fucking awesome, fine we'll go."

Jason smiled and kissed my cheek.

I turned and kissed him on his lips.

I pulled away and...

Okay, first thing's first. Determine whether au not wewe are actually in a horror movie. Let's weigh the factors:

* wewe are, most likely, a bored teenager with nothing to do.
* wewe are, most likely, considerably worthless to society.
* wewe are, most likely, an idiot.
* wewe have, most likely, attracted the attention of a maniac in the past 24 hours.
* You, for no reason in particular, are looking up hints on how to survive in a horror movie.

-----

The following rules apply universally to nearly all horror movies. Print them out and keep them in your wallet. Glance at them every five dakika au so. Memorize...

from the internet :)

1. Vary your vehicle’s speed inversely with the speed limit.

2. Roll down your windows and blast talk radio. Attempt to head bang.

3. At stop lights, eye the person in the inayofuata car suspiciously. With a look of fear, lock your doors.

4. Two words: Chicken suit.

5. Write the words "Help me” on your back window in red paint. The zaidi it looks like blood, the better.

6. Have conversations, looking periodically at the passenger seat, when driving alone.

7. Laugh a lot. A whole lot.

8. Stop at the green lights.

9. Go at the red ones.

10. Occasionally wave a stuffed animal/troll doll/Barbie...

Man: Where have wewe been all my life?
Woman: Hiding from you.

Man: Haven't I seen wewe someplace before?
Woman: Yes, that's why I don't go there anymore.

Man: Is this kiti, kiti cha empty?
Woman: Yes, and this one will be if wewe sit down.

Man: Your place au mine?
Woman: Both. wewe go to yours, and I'll go to mine.

Man: So, what do wewe do for a living?
Woman: I'm a female impersonator.

Man: hujambo baby, what's your sign?
Woman: Do not enter.

Man: How do wewe like your eggs in the morning?
Woman: Unfertilized.

Man: Your body is like a temple.
Woman: Sorry, there are no services today.

Man: I would go to the ends of the world...

The following dumb laws are, au were at some point, actually laws in the United States listed below. Now, before wewe go any further do know that I'm not a lawyer nor am I claiming any responsibilty if wewe bail off and do something stupid au try using something here as a defense in court (rofl at that).

Alabama

In Jasper, it is illegal for a husband to beat his wife with a stick larger in diameter than his thumb.
It is illegal to wear a fake mustache that causes laughter in church.
It is illegal for a driver to be blindfolded while operating a vehicle.
It is illegal to play Dominos on Sunday.
Putting...

upendo and Marriage:

"If falling in upendo is anything like learning how to spell, I don't want to do it. It takes too long." -- Glenn, age 7


"Love is like an avalanche where wewe have to run for your life." -- John, age 9


"I think you're supposed to get shot with an arrow au something, but the rest of it isn't supposed to be so painful." -- Manuel, age 8


"No one is sure why it happens, but I heard it has something to do with how wewe smell. That's why perfume and deodorant are so popular." -- Mae, age 9


"Love is the most important thing in the world, but baseball is pretty good too." -- Greg, age 8


"Once...

Just randomly found this:

1. Throw popcorn in the air and yell, “It’s snowing!”
2. Go, “Oooooh…” whenever anyone kisses.
3. Clap when the good guy gets killed.
4. During the previews, yell, “Can wewe fast-forward it?”
5. Whenever the bad guy is doing something devious, say, “Watch out!”
6. Laugh very loudly at all the corny jokes.
7. Tell the man selling popcorn that the bathroom is flooding.
8. Yell out what is going to happen.
9. Wear a cape and when its your turn to get popcorn yell, “I’m Batman! Hahaha!” and run away.
10. Say that they cannot sit inayofuata to wewe because wewe invisible...

Mother kept girls locked away from the world for seven years
Three girls who were imprisoned kwa their mother in a house of indescribable filth for seven years may never recover from the ordeal, experts have said.

The girls were shut away from the outside world, existing in almost complete darkness, playing only with mice and communicating in their own language.

When they were discovered, their nyumbani in a smart, upper middle-class suburb had no running water and was filled with waste and excrement a metre high. The floor was corroded kwa mice urine.

The case has stunned Austria, still reeling from...

1. wewe can do whatever wewe damn well please.

2. Shave your legs and the razor is never dull from his face.

3. Not only is your razor not dull, who needs to shave at all now?

4. wewe can leave bra and other unmentionables in view.

5. wewe can slump around the house in any old thing.

6. wewe don't having to think about birth control, calendars au ovulation. Mother Nature can visit whenever she likes.

7. wewe can go out and flirt as much as your moyo desires, without a worry in the world.

8. The toilet kiti, kiti cha issue -- need I say more?

9. Free drinks at bars! Men seem to know when you're single and tend to...

Dress up like one of the photographers and follow people around asking them repeatedly if they would like their picture taken.
Leave large gaps in between wewe and the people in front of wewe while waiting in line.
Every time wewe pass a chain restraint not in use, clip it on and use it to hold back the people behind wewe in line.
Ask the person running the roller coaster if someone has recently thrown up on it.
Pretend to freak out on a ride so they stop it to let wewe off.
Offer people money for their spots in line . . . Monopoly money.
Speak in Spanish, au pretend you're deaf and start making rapid...

I am pondering this question, it is a very difficult one to figure out. I can not seem to think of anything to make an makala on....

2 Hours Later

Wait I think I have an idea coming on... nope I Lost it... wait no I found it again... What if I write an makala about reasons why wewe should do pointe
1. wewe get to be taller
2. wewe can use them in self defense
3. wewe can... what wewe don't think that's a good idea... oh well back to the drawing board...

1 saa Later

Ok what about this... What happened when I invested in Eyepatches... hmmm titles to long how about My Eyepatch Investment.... sounds good......

THINK YOU'RE HAVING A BAD DAY. Check out these actual cases:

Fire authorities in California found a corpse in a burned-out section
of forest while assessing the damage done kwa a forest fire. The deceased
male was dressed in a full wet suit, complete with scuba tanks on his
back, flippers, and face mask.

A postmortem test revealed that the man died not from burns, but from
massive internal injuries. Dental records provided a positive
identification. Investigators then set about to determine how a fully
clothed diver ended up in the middle of a forest fire.

It was revealed that on the siku of the...

I'm bored, so I thought I'd share with wewe a few websites online that wewe can ubunifu characters! wewe all probably have either created characters, like for fanfictions, stories, au just in your mind, and here are some websites where wewe can ubunifu their appearance! au wewe could always make yourself and use it as a snazzy avatar/profile pic, au make characters from books/movies/etc. that already exist! There are tons of websites out there, these are just a few.
link
This website is kwa far the best superhero generator I've found. Basically wewe use it to make your dream superhero!!! (I use it to...

zaidi people in history of war have been killed in the name of God (any religion) then any other reason for war
Hellenologophobia - the fear of greek terms
If wewe sneeze too hard, wewe can fracture a rib. If wewe try to suppress a sneeze, wewe can rupture a blood vessel in your head au neck and die.
Nearly a third of all bottled drinking water purchased in the US is contaminated with bacteria.
Rats multiply so quickly that in 18 months, two rats could have over 1 million descendants.
You are zaidi likely to be struck kwa lightning than to be eaten kwa a shark.
You are zaidi likely to be infected by...

Grammar and spelling issues have been discussed several times and I just thought I would give my opinion on the subject. This makala is mostly aimed for those who call themselves "Grammar Nazis", but I would be zaidi than glad that everyone else reads it as well, including the "Grammar Nazis" that aren't overly critical. Before I go on, I will point out that my English may not be so good since it is not my first language and I'm not studying it, but I'm trying as hard as I can to improve it every day, so my apologies if anything I've alisema here isn't understandable.

So having good grammar and...

Things You'll Need:

A handle (1.75 liters, about a half gallon) of vodka per bag of Skittles

A large bag of Skittles Candy (the "movie size" bag)

Each handle of vodka (1.75 liters, about a half gallon) requires a large bag worth of Skittles, so if wewe plan on doing only one flavor for a flavorful vodka, you'll have to buy 5 large bags of Skittles.

Coffee filter au extremely clean t-shirt
Large funnel au strainer to hold filter

Steps:

1. Separate the colors of Skittles that wewe want to flavor the vodka with. Many people choose to leave out the green, which is chokaa if wewe are using original Skittles,...

Sad Stories About AIDS


I found these stories online. These are true stories.

I used to know Josephat and his lovely family of a wife, 2 daughters and a son. He used to live in a town 1,000Km from the city. The town is on the Tanzania Zambia border. He used to come to the city many times during the mwaka on his pickup van but when I did not see him for over a mwaka I inquired from his cousin. The cousin informed me that he had a motor accident on the Dar es Salaam Zambia Highway. He died on the spot. That was 6 years ago. I had forgotten about him and family till yesterday when I met his cousin...