brian head welch-I am sekunde

There used to be a mitaani, mtaa named after Chuck Norris, but it was changed because nobody crosses Chuck Norris and lives

Every time Chuck Norris looks into a mirror it breaks. Even glass is not stupid enough to get between Chuck Norris and Chuck Norris.

Chuck Norris can strangle wewe with a cordless phone.

Chuck Norris has already been to Mars; that's why there are no signs of life.

Chuck Norris died 20 years ago, Death just hasn't built up the courage to tell him yet.

Brett Farve can throw a football 50 yds. Chuck Norris can throw Brett Farve even farther.

Some magicans can walk on water, Chuck Norris...

A single drop of sweat from Chuck Norris was found to quench the thirst of an entire african village for 23 straight days. Subsequently, an olympic athlete from that village was disqualified from his event for testing positive for performance enhancing drugs.

Chuck Norris can read lady Gaga's poker face.

Chuck Norris says the alphabet faster backwards then wewe can say it fowards.

When Chuck Norris goes to sleep, he doesn't dream he lives it.

In an alternate universe, Chuck Norris is just a myth. However, he pwns people there anyways.

When Chuck Norris drinks beer, the bia gets drunk.

Ninjas want...

I found this on the internet.

1.    Smile
2.    Laugh
3.    Run your fingers through your hair
4.    Touch them gently on the arm/shoulder
5.    Give them a hug
6.    Tease them
7.    Complement their clothes
8.    Say, "It seems like forever since I last saw you"
9.    Whisper
10.    Offer them a blanket au kanzu, koti if it's cold
11.    Offer to buy them a drink
12.    Lean...

In a pub chemsha bongo the other siku I Lost kwa one point. The swali was, "where do women mostly have curly hair?" Apparently, it's Africa.


One of the other maswali was to name two things commonly found in cells.
It appears that Nigerians and Jamaicans is not the correct answer.


I've heard that apple has scrapped their plans for the new children's iPod, after realizing that iTouch Kids is not a good product name.


There's a new Muslim clothing duka that opened in Toronto but I've been banned from it, after asking to look at some mshambuliaji, mlipuaji wa bomu jackets.


You can say lots of bad things about pedophiles,...

Ghetto Names

Mostly maarufu with the poorer sections of the communities in the United States, ghetto names are becoming zaidi common.
These are some ghetto names sent to us kwa our readers:

Aalissah , Aarionda , AbbyYoYo , Abcd , Abrianna , Adaizala , Aereana , Ajavalon , Akeebu , Akwante , Alamarion , Alashawndre , Alashema , Alezeisha , Aliciandra , Alveonta , Amabufu , Amanisha , Ambrisha , Amereazanisha , Amiracle , Amonteosha , Ananchalant , Anfernee , Angenique , Annestonisha , Antonyishia , Antwanae , Antwanique , Antwonisha , Anukware , Aquamaquisha , Aquanasia , Aquanetta , Aquaniqua ,...

Found this on Google. Hope it makes ya laugh.

1. Set all the alarm clocks to go off in 10-minute intervals

2. Walk up to an employee and tell him/her in an official tone, “Code 3 in housewares,…”and see what happens.

3. Go to the Service dawati and ask to put a bag of M&M’s on lay away.

4. Find one of the workers who is making a pyramid au a display of something and as soon as they are finished with it, ask for the thing that’s on the bottom and have a panic attack until they give it to you.

5. Get on the loud speaker and declare a “Going Out of Business Sale, All Items 99% Off”

6....

France
Honhonhon! Bonjour English man! Grow a real dick and don't fuck with Peter Pan! I'm Francis Bonnefoy and everyone loves me! wewe call me a wanker, cause mine is the biggest! Fuck off with your kid brother, cause USUK surely hits it!

Britain
SHUT UP! wewe DAMN FROG FACE! The fact that your on the same continent is a disgrace! All wewe are is a bloody wanker, my rhymes hit hard, like Captain Hook's anchor! Your just a bloody whore, I can't stand your face no more, your such a prick! Even Sealand has zaidi dick! I have an army of Red Coats! wewe have shitty little boats! Waiting till the last minute?...

Mom:Okay kids!(4 kids)get in here!I got news!
Kennedy:What is it?
Mom:Me and your dad are going on a date
*grasshopper sound*
Mom:so wewe guy will need a babysitter!


*10 dakika later the baby sitter came*
Mom:Hello!I'm Amy!
Babysitter:I'm Ashley!
Mom:DARELL!Get your butt in here!
*Mom and Dad leave*
Ashley:Hi kids!I'm your babysitter Ashley!
kids:HI!
Kid:I'm Amber!I'm four!
Ashley:Hi Amber!*ruffles hair*cute!
Amber:Never...touch...ME!!!
Ashley:OH kay!
Kid:I'm Zack!I'm 9
Ashley:Hello!


*59 dakika later*
Amber:I wuv chai parties!!
Ashley*Walks in*Hey Amber what are wewe doing?
Amber:Having a chai party!
Ashley:Can I...

NAME: Greg Bulmash

SEX: Not yet. Still waiting for the right person.

DESIRED POSITION: Company's President au Vice President. But seriously, whatever's available. If I was in a position to be picky, I wouldn't be applying here in the first place.

DESIRED SALARY: $185,000 a mwaka plus stock options and a Michael Ovitz style severance package. If that's not possible, make an offer and we can haggle.

EDUCATION: Yes.

LAST POSITION HELD: Target for middle management hostility.

SALARY: Less than I'm worth.

MOST NOTABLE ACHIEVEMENT: My incredible collection of stolen pens and post-it notes.

REASON FOR LEAVING:...

This bata walks into a convenience store and asks the clerk, "Do wewe have any grapes?" The clerk says no, and the bata leaves.

The inayofuata day, the bata returns and asks, "Do wewe have any grapes?" The clerk again says no, and the bata leaves.

The siku after that, the bata walks in the store again and asks "Do wewe have any grapes?" The clerk screams at the duck, "You've come in here the past two days and asked if we had any grapes. I told wewe no every time that we don't have any grapes! I swear if wewe come back in here again, and ask for grapes, I'll nail your webbed feet to the floor!!"

The duck...

1. Every siku at school is the same
2. wewe never know if your braids look digusting au not
3. wewe are so used to never talking that if somebody says something to you, never know how to react
4. wewe would like to think that people notice au even think about wewe but wewe are really just the big ugly quiet black girl nobody knows au cares about
5. wewe worry people will write nasty maoni on your fanpop makala that is obvioustly meant to vent your feeling out
6. On the weekend all wewe do is watch tv and sleep and play with your cat
7. When wewe only really have like 3 Marafiki at school and 2 of them...

The onyesha SpongeBob linked to attention problems and learning


The onyesha SpongeBob SquarePants is pointed kwa a study which indicates that the viewing for only nine dakika of the onyesha may cause short-term attention problems and learning in children four years.

Such problems have been observed in a study of 60 randomly selected children to watch SpongeBob au Caillou, in which picha change zaidi slowly, au to draw in nine minutes.

Immediately after this activity, children were tested for mental function. And those who watched SpongeBob scored lower than others.

Previous studies had already established...