Prof. Horrible's Sing along Story

Please keep in mind this is partially AU. Also, Private doesn't exist, and Skipper has a separate habitat from Kowalski and Rico. Marlene doesn't see them often, except at Inspection Day, when the Zoo Keepers take them out of their habitats for a thorough cleaning of their homes.

Act I - Scene II

Marlene stood just inside the zoo walls. She has a small stack of papers in her hands, with some drawings on them of the Kids Petting Zoo and some baby animals, and then a parking lot and sad baby animals. She holds one paper in her hand, trying to hand out papers to Zoo wanyama passing by.

"Would wewe lend a caring hand, to Shelter those who need it?" She sang
"Only have to sign your name, don't even have to read it.
Would wewe help? No? How about you?"

Meanwhile, Kowalski was walking just outside the zoo walls, a handbag in his flipper. Some distance away, a van stopped in front of a bank-type building across from the zoo. Kowalski picked a small device out of the bag, and threw it at the car. It flew, latching itself onto the car and hooking itself up with the main electrical system of the van. Kowalski pulled an iTouch out of the bag (said iTouch had a tiny crack in the screen), and turned it on. The van started up, and Kowalski grinned. He stood up, tossing the bag over to behind one of the Zoo Gate Walls.

Marlene noticed Kowalski just outside, and dared to venture out. "Would wewe lend a Caring Hand…?" Kowalski, startled kwa this sudden intrusion, jumped a good two feet in the air.

"Aaaah! Ah! Ah! Ah ah! Ah! Wha?" He asked, hiding the iTouch from her view while still maintaining his flipper on it. Marlene looked down at the papers, and then back up.

"Well, I, I was just … Hey, I know you!" She alisema happily.

"Hello. wewe know me? Cool. I mean, yeah, wewe do. Do you?"

"From Inspection siku at the Zoo?" Marlene suggested

"Wednesdays and Saturdays, except twice last mwezi wewe skipped the weekend. Or, if that was you. It could have been somebody else. I mean, I've seen you. Kowalski is my name." Man, he was screwing this up so badly! Kowalski thought First time I have a conversation with her and I'm so messed up!

Marlene either pretended not to notice, au was just very good at not reacting to babble. "My name's Marlene." She said, holding out her paw. She reluctantly took it back to her papers when she saw that he wouldn't take his flipper off his iPod. "What are wewe doing?" She asked.

"Um, texting. It's very important au I would stop. What are wewe doing?" He replied, not missing a beat.

"I'm volunteering for the Caring Paws Treeless Shelter. Can wewe spare a moment au two?"

Kowalski looked back to the van, making sure it wouldn't go anywhere. Rapidly making a decision, he furrowed his brow. "Um… Okay, go."

"Ok, we're hoping to open a new location soon, and expand our efforts. There's this

great building nearby that the city is just going to demolish and turn into a parking lot,

but if we get enough signatures..."

"Signatures? *pfft*" alisema Kowalski condenscendingly

"Yeah…" Marlene replied, a slight confusion in her voice. Noticing her confusion at his interruption, Kowalski quickly apologized.

"I'm sorry, go on." He smiled.

"I was saying, um, maybe we could get the city to donate the building to our cause. We

would be able to provide 250 new beds, get people off the streets and into job training so they could... buy rocket packs and go to the moon and become... florists... You're not really interested in the homeless, are you?" Her rant turned to rubbish as he was distracted once again kwa the van. Why can't he pay attention, what is so important that it can't be bothered for two minutes? She thought

"No, I am. But they're a symptom. You're treating a symptom and the disease rages on,

consumes the human race. The samaki rots from the head as they say. So my thinking is why

not cut off the head?"

"Of the New York Animals?" Marlene was apalled

"It's not a... perfect... metaphor. But I'm talking about an overhaul of the system. Putting

the power in... DIFFERENT... hands."

"I'm all for that... this petition is about the building..." She smiled, bringing the topic back around to the right subject. Kowalski smiled back. "I'd upendo to sign."

"Thank you." alisema Marlene graciously

"Sorry I... I come on strong." Kowalski apologized

"But wewe signed. That's all that Matters."

"Wouldn't want to turn my back on a fellow - laundry person..."

"Well if WE can't stick together I don't... I'll probably see wewe there." She started, kwa the end it had turned into muttering, as Billy was, once again, distracted. Still nothing interesting going on, what was so important?

Kowalski noticed she had alisema something, and tried to reply. -"No, I will, I'll..." – only to find that she has left in tafuta of zaidi signatures. He sighed in frustration.

"She talked to me. Why did she talk to me now? Maybe I should..." He pondered if he should go talk to her – he had never felt so at ease with her before, and it probably wouldn't happen like this again. Then on the other hand, there was the Wonderflonium to take care of . He needed to get into ELE – he needed that Wonderflonium!

#5 – A Man's Gotta Do Dr. Horrible, Penny, Captain Hammer

He closed his eyes, and gave up going after her. Finally making a decision, he broke into song. As he did, he walked behind the Zoo's Outer Walls and changed into his Professor Horrible outfit.

"A man's got to do what a man's got to do,

Don't plan the plan if wewe can't follow through

All that matters is taking matters into your own hands

Soon I'll control everything

My wish is your command…"

Suddenly his song was cut short as his archnemesis, Col. Skipper, jumped down onto the van.

"Stand back everyone,

Nothin' here to see

Just imminent danger,

And in the middle of it – me!

Yes, Col. Skipper's here,

Hair blowing in the breeze,

The siku needs my saving expertise!" The shorter penguin, auk hit Horrible'sdevice, sparks sent flying.

A man's got to do what a man's got to do,

Seems my destiny ends with me saving you

The only doom that's looming is wewe loving me to death,

So I'll give wewe a sec to catch your breath."

As Col. Skipper was singing, the van was headed straight for Marlene! Skipper threw her out of the way, right into a large pile of Garbage. The van stopped just inches from Skipper's outstretched flippers, the result of Professor Horrible pressing violently down on the brake on his remote.

"You idiot!" Prof. Horrible exclaimed, coming out of his hiding place.

"Dr. Horrible. I should have known wewe were behind this." Colonel smirked

"You almost killed her!"

"I remember it differently." Colonel replied, denying any claims of near-death.

"If she... *ugh*" Col. Skipper grasped Horrible kwa the throat, cutting off his voice box.

"It's curtains for you, Dr. Horrible. Lacy, gently wafting curtains."

"Whuh?" The Colonels a little nutty in the head, apparently. Marlene crawled out of the garbage, imba her own little tune of gratitude.

"Thank wewe Skipper Man,

I don't think I can

Explain how important it was

That wewe stopped the van

I would be splattered,

I'd be crushed into Debris,

Thank wewe sir for saving me"

"Don't worry about it." alisema Col. Skipper, banging Horrible's Head against the van's bumper.

(AN: Each piece on the same line is sung at the same time. I'm sorry if this confuses anybody)

Col. Skipper/Marlene/Prof. Horrible

A man's gotta do what a

Man's gotta do/You came from above/Are wewe kidding?

Seems destiny ends/ /what heist were wewe

With me saving you/I wonder what you're/watching? Stop looking

When you're the best,/Captain of/at her like that

wewe can't rest,/ /Did wewe notice that he

What's the use?/My moyo is beating like/Threw wewe in the

There's punda needs kicking/A drum/Garbage?

Some ticking

Bomb to defuse/Must be in shock/I stopped the van. The

The only doom/ /remote control was in

That's looming is you/Assuming I'm not/My Hand

Loving me to death/loving wewe to death/ Whaaateeeverrr

So, please give me a sec/So please, give me a sec

To catch my breath/To catch my breath

While the Colonel and Marlene were busy falling for each other, Professor Horrible snuck into the back of the van and made off with the Wonderflonium. "Balls!" He muttered as he crept off to his lair unnoticed.

END ACT I

ACT II COMING SOON