Penguins of Madagascar Club
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Arch Enemy: While testing Kowalski's newest invention, the "Nexto-Skeleton," Dale the konokono approaches the Penguins, seeking revenge against Private for crushing him. That accusation is only reinforced kwa Private accidentally crushing Dale at every chance he gets to apologize, and kwa King Julien, who vilified Private in front of all of the zoo animals. Who really crushed Dale? And can Private clear his name?

The Big S.T.A.N.K.: Rico and Skipper accidentally reactivate the S.T.A.N.K. (Super Toxic Aromatically Noxious Kaboom-boom) Project, a stink bomb disguised as a toilet designed to trap Dr. Blowhole. Upon trying to properly dispose of S.T.A.N.K., King Julien steals the toilet, believing it's the proper kiti cha enzi to replace his old one. Can the Penguins break the lock, save Julien, and escape before the bomb detonates?

Note to self: Send a tweet to Bob Schooley (@Rschooley) saying that he was right about the series becoming weirder.

That awali line best summarizes my thoughts toward this pair of new episodes (New episodes of Penguins? Unbelievable!). After a ton of new Kung Fu Panda, Winx Club and SpongeBob episodes, Nickelodeon finally turns its attention to this and T.U.F.F. Puppy, however briefly.

From @Rschooley: Wrong RT @pickledbeetles: I still can't believe Lewis Black is allowed on kids shows. Guess no one making the onyesha has seen his stand-up.

"Arch Enemy" introduces us to Dale the Snail, voiced kwa comedian Lewis Black. He does a fine job introducing us to this lilliputian character while also transferring his trademark style over to a kids onyesha like Penguins, albeit toned down. I wasn't too keen on the way Dale was portrayed here, as it made him seem too one-dimensional, only here to exact his revenge against the penguin, auk who crushed him. Just one question: how does Dale keep surviving accidental crushes kwa robotic and penguin, auk feet? With a slimy forcefield and an anodized steel shell? Oh, the joys of tiptoeing around the topic of death and the magic of cartoons...

It also seems like "Arch Enemy" has a little too much going on as it starts with Dale viewing Private as an enemy, which leads to Marlene siding with Dale, which culminates in the entire zoo believing that Private is a menace to the zoo. It seems like there wasn't enough time to adequately clear Private's name, leaving it to a promise at the end (and Dale firing lasers at Kowalski). That's it for complaints; let's songesha on to what this episode gets right.

Even though I don't like Dale's personality for appearing to be one-dimensional, it's that cantankerous one dimension that makes him likable, similar to Carl Fredrickson from "Up." It was also nice how the Nexto-Skeleton didn't work right for Kowalski, and yet it worked perfectly for Dale. Maybe Kowalski should take it as a sign. But in the meantime, I knew that Private did not crush Dale, although it was funny to see Private carelessly stepping over him multiple times, then believing that saying he was very sorry over and over again would make Dale forgive him. Not quite.

What I appreciate most, however, was when Maurice introduced King Julien to the zoo wanyama because it's similar to his introduction in the Madagascar sinema and "Happy King Julien Day!," minus the et ceteras. I also liked the slight nod to Private's Quantum Hyper-Cute pose introduced in "Cute-Astrophe." If wewe didn't know kwa now, I upendo it when they make references to awali episodes because it shows that the series is aware of what happened before. It's that small, but Lexus-like attention to detail that makes Penguins a well-polished show.

As for "The Big S.T.A.N.K.," well, it shows that Penguins has taken a turn for the weird. Bad pun, I know, but I thought that King Julien riding a tuna melt sandwich, sandwichi in "All Tied Up With A Boa" was strange enough until I watched this.

Counting how much salt and pepper was in the salt-and-pepper shakers? Building a giant stink bomb toilet to trap Dr. Blowhole? And then disposing it in a specific rest stop in New Jersey? The sheer randomness of "The Big S.T.A.N.K." makes it feel like the pilot episode for a different onyesha as they're trying out different gags, seeing what works and what doesn't. Even the acronym for S.T.A.N.K. was weird, reminding me of the acronyms used in Codename: Kids inayofuata Door (remember that show?). There's zaidi that works here than what doesn't, and that's a good thing.

At the same time, because it is an episode in the series, the sudden change makes "The Big S.T.A.N.K." feel like it's conflicted between the classic slapstick nature of Penguins and this newfound weirdness. I'm not saying that I don't like it, I do, but I wasn't expecting this level of strange. Diehard mashabiki of the onyesha may be left scratching their heads at this episode, while late newcomers may be put off kwa the weirdness. Also, what's with the constant references to New Jersey on Penguins? Heck, it spread to the new Fairly OddParents special that aired over Thanksgiving (Timmy's Secret Wish). I just want to know why this happens so often.

From @Rschooley: J/K NJ. RT @Jada_Shantel: Everbody stay tryin to fade Jersey. Even penguins of madagascar. SMDH

Moving on from the weird aspects of this episode, Skipper would make a great trucker with his usage of various truckers' lingo. At first, I was expecting "The Big S.T.A.N.K." to follow a similar premise as the SpongeBob SquarePants episode "Stuck In the Wringer" because crying actually solved both problems where a main character was stuck in an infernal contraption.

As always, Penguins has kept me guessing how this would turn out because it became a race for the solution and a race against time, not one suffering at the hands of another (ahem, Patrick). It's worth noting how this marks the first time Skipper has cried. Sure, we've seen him scream, and beg, and hug, but cry? Not until now. And all it took was remembering past scenes from awali episodes with King Julien. Take note, Dr. Blowhole and Hans...

"Arch Enemy" and "The Big S.T.A.N.K." aren't the best episodes, but they are good. I'm digging this strange new direction that the onyesha is going; as long as it doesn't diminish what The Penguins of Madagascar is at its core, it's all right with me. I'm only hoping that DreamWorks and Nickelodeon can come to their senses and allow this onyesha to continue past Season 3, but that's a subject for another time. Even though "Arch Enemy" had Lewis Black as a guest star, I have to say that kwa Roy's level of patience, "The Big S.T.A.N.K." is the better episode of the two because it is the ambassador to a new era for Penguins.
posted by spmana123
It was a typical Friday afternoon, field trip day. We were all exhausted from today, and were finally happy to have a break from the visitors. After everybody had left and the zoo was closed, I decided to throw a party in celebration for what a great job we did today, I told Kowalski to get Marlene, private to grab julien and his crew, and Rico to help me set up for the party. Everybody was stoked to see how nice of it was to celebrate, even though we do this every Friday, I felt like today was the hardest.

"Wow! Thanks a bunch skipper!" alisema Marlene with a happy expression on her face.

There...
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Marlene had ran nyumbani to tell Leslie about how it had worked and how the plan actually was working so far. "See, I told wewe he would say yes, was skipper jealous?" Asked Leslie with a smile on her face. "I don't know I didn't ask in front of him, but in sure Rico has told them about it, can wewe help me get ready for the tarehe tonight?" alisema Marlene. Leslie agreed and the two began to set the meza, jedwali for Marlene and Rico(oysters and fish), grabbed some flowers and candles, and cleaned the place up. Meanwhile, at the penguins place, Rico wa getting ready for his tarehe with Marlene, while the boys...
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posted by spmana123
i was standing there, inayofuata to ricos corpse, tears coming down my cheeks, knowing that ill never see him again, never see hm smile, au do anything with me anymore, and i couldnt get here in time to save him, kowalksi and private were sitting inayofuata to his body, crying out loud. i snapped, and started running towards blowhole.

skipper:ILL KILL YOU!!!!

he dodged my attack and ran straight to the door, along with his minion, and locked us in so we couldnt get out.

skipper:OPEN THE DAMN DOOR wewe COWARD!! WHEN I GET OUT IM GONNA KILL YOU!!!!

i was banging on that door as hard as i could, hoping to get...
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Once they got inside, Sky dropped Skipper on to the stone floor somewhat carelessly. "Ah-Ug!" screamed Skipper as his body made contact with the floor.
"Hahahahahaha! Sucker! Hahahaha-WAH!" shrieked Emily as she too got dropped to the floor. Skippers team and family were about to help them up when Voilet, Skippers other sister, used her 'black magic' to lavetate them back on to there feet. Everyone (A/N: Exept for Skipper and his family,) looked at her in astonishment.

Voilet was a beautiful penguin, auk (A/N: Especially to Rico! XD) but no one really knew what she looked like because of a black...
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Enjoy Chapter 4!
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Location: Penguin's Island
-------------------------------
I awoke in a large crate with dim lighting through a little hole for air. I was to tired to get back on my webbed feet and knock open this door myself.

Finally I stood up in my crate and looked through the small hole. I gasp. Their was another eye!

"Hello?" I heard someone say. "Is anyone in there?"

I almost leaped out of my feathers. Wow did the cops find me that easily?, I thought. Things were going through my brain like going fishing with samaki streaming
through a river.

"Hello?" I asked. "Can...
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Private rushed to the HQ, and straight into his bunk. There he laid wailing into his pillow. Unfortunately, with all his stress, he didn't notice the burning smell au smoke. His mto grew damp underneath his face. Both of his failures played through his mind like a degrading movie. The zaidi he thought, the worse he felt. Skipper's so mad at me! I'm such a failure! How could I mess up twice?! Private screamed in his mind.
We headed into the habitat in disbelief. I rushed into through the hole first. Smoke filtered the room, and it was coming from the oven. As always, we all-well except for...
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posted by misscrazel
"No" alisema Skipper, "why would that help?" He crumpled the paper. "Wait!" He said.
"What?!" asked Private.
"I know what happend!"

Abigail's past 1st person
......................................................................................................
I could hardly see through the tears. "Skipper!" I cried, pulling away from my mother. I ran after Skipper and my unfaimiliar father. I knew I could save my younger brother. After all dad wanted both of us. Our parents had divorced right after Skipper was born. Our mom got both of us and ever since then our dad wanted one of us.

It's my bedtime now I'll write zaidi later.
posted by legendary7
Private didn't even have to lift his head to tell it wasn't Skipper. Skipper's feathers were softer, and he felt like a much zaidi comfortable pillow. He was so deep in thought that, when the penguin, auk moved; he jumped up.
Private breathed out a sigh of relief.
"No need to be alarmed, Private. It's just me." Kowalski consoled.
"Where's Skipper? Wait! Where's Celeste?!" Private cried.
"He went fishing, but he didn't want to wake you. So he told me to let wewe sleep." Kowalski explained. Private nodded. "By the way, Celeste is over there sleeping. Why does it matter?"
Private flinched. "It doesn't. I...
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posted by legendary7
They dashed through the water. Rocky waves thrashed above. A stormy sky blew its wrath upon the ocean. It was like a child's tantrum, pelting rain to the water's surface non-stop. Every trace of light from the sky was masked kwa the clouds.
Beneath the surface of the water were the five penguins. Rico was occupying himself kwa snacking on every samaki that swam by. They were actually quite beautiful with a certain grace. Their vivid colored scales shimmered under the reflected light.
Skipper turned his head to find Private missing from his side. He stopped, and scanned around for his soldier. His...
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posted by Penguinator
Chapter 3
It was finally morning! Skipper had returned from roaming the streets of New York, looking for Blowhole. “Rico, where is Private, Kowalski, and Pat?” Skipper asked. “They are vampires!” Rico grunted. “What?!” Skipper asked. “So is my father!” a little voice yelled from behind the stuffed prize fish. Gloria, who had woken up after Mumble became a vampire, jumped down into the HQ. “Erik! Honey, are wewe in here?” Gloria spouted, with tears streaming from her eyes. “I’m behind the stuffed fish!” Skipper opened the samaki and Erik zipped to his crying mother. “Mama,...
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posted by sowem
The group left destruction everywhere they searched, but Joey just kicked all of them out of his habitat. Skipper enjoyed destroying Julien's habitat.

Skipper: Lets look in the Park.

Private: Wait a minute! That's him!
Private pointed to Kowalski trying to swim to their island with Maurice's body.

Everyone went into the penguins habitat. Kowalski jumped through the hole into the HQ and activated lockdown.

Kowalski: That should keep them out for about 2 hours, maybe?

He quickly rushed into the lab and went here and there to finish the ray in time.
He thought for a minute.

Kowalski: How am I going to...
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Day 5

“How we lookin’ Private?” Eve asked approaching him. They were in a small hut not too far from the prison.

“Everything’s running smoothly. Did wewe talk to Skipper?”

“Yeah. He’s proud of you.” Private smiled.

“Really?” Eve patted his shoulder.

“You bet. He thinks of wewe as a son wewe know.”

“Wow…he has been like a father to me.” Eve smiled. “Eve…can I ask wewe something?”

“Sure. Anything.”

“Do wewe like Skipper?”

Eve opened her beak to speak, but ended up saying: “Uh…I…well…”

Private giggled. “It’s okay. Your secret is salama with me.”

Eve...
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Note: Heyo, peeps! After this chapter, the following ones are going to be shorter.

Private's body fell rapidly into the electric powered machine. Finally he hit the bottom blades with a PLOP. In that moment he prepped himself for being ground up. The sekunde past-nothing happened. Still, the razors dug into his back. The penguin, auk laid there-stuck-shaken.
What had just happened? Was this real? Would he open his eyes-still in bed? It was worth a shot. His eyes slowly opened. Nope, still in the funnel. All over his body, he was covered in guts and blood. He was startled at first, but soon was certain...
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March 21, 2012
1628 hours


    Marlene invited Elizabeth for a walk through Central Park. Not wanting to be rude, Elizabeth accepted.

    “So what was it like? Being a nurse for all those people must’ve been hard work.”

    “Yeah, it got difficult sometimes. Especially when we had to break the news to the family when a loved one passed on.”

    “I can imagine. So you’ve never been married then?” Elizabeth looked sideways at her for a moment, knowing she had to lie.

    “Nope. Always...
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The four of them went deep in thought, wondering how they were going to get out of this. After several minutes, Skipper heard something…it was Rico’s stomach growling. That gave him an idea. He whispered to Rico. “Hey Rico…”

“Hm?”

“Are wewe hungry?” Rico nodded, confused. “You know Rico…those samaki look very tasty…” Rico looked over to the bucket of samaki that a lobster, kamba left inayofuata to the door, causing his stomach to growl even more. “You want those samaki Rico?”

“Uh-huh…” Rico alisema sadly. “Then what are wewe waiting for? All wewe gotta do is break out of those restraints…”...
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User: Hi.

Cleverbot: How are you?

User: I believe to be feeling the emotion commonly known as 'frustrated'.

Cleverbot: No wewe just told me how old your brother was.

User: Pardon?

Cleverbot: Are wewe annoyed now?

User: Yes, yes I am.

Cleverbot: How are you?

User: *facepalms* wewe just asked me that!

Cleverbot: Yes I do believe I have a soul.

User: That is impossible, for wewe are not sentient. wewe just merely possess artifical intelligence. Why am I even explaining this to you?

Cleverbot: But wewe just alisema that wewe know I'm not a robot.

User: No, I didn't.

Cleverbot: wewe lie.

User: But, But....., GAH! I will...
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User: Hello?

Cleverbot: Who is this.

User: I'm Fred.

Cleverbot: You're fred?

User: Yeah. Well that's what my parents named me. It could have changed since then.

Cleverbot: How do I know you're not lying?

User: How do I know I'm not lying?

Cleverbot: Because I'm a nice person.

User: That's nice.

Cleverbot: Ask me a real question.

User: Okay.

Cleverbot: Person, place, au thing?

User: What?

Cleverbot: So how would wewe define yourself? Are wewe yourself because of your actions, au are your actions based on who wewe are?

User: I'm a squirrel.

Cleverbot: Yes wewe are a squirrel.

User: Uh-huh.

Cleverbot: Haha.

User: What's funny?

Cleverbot: You.

User: Um good. I guess.

Cleverbot: You're hopeless...

User: hujambo that's what Granny tells me!

Cleverbot:  *facepalm* 

User: Why are wewe hitting yourself?
posted by peacebaby7
2001

"Do you, Amanda Claythorne, take this man to be your lawfully wedded husband?" Asked the preacher. "I do." Amanda alisema happily. The preacher smiled. "And do you, Hans Gruber, take this woman to be your lawfully wedded wife?" Hans looked at his wife to be. "I do." He alisema in his Danish accent. "Then kwa the powers invested in me...I now pronounce wewe man and wife. wewe may kiss your bride." The preacher announced. Amanda and Hans shared a kiss, and their Marafiki stood and clapped lightly.

3 Years Later...

Hans came running into the apartment, he was still wearing his military uniform, but it...
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Chapter 8

Skipper made his way into the Clock Tower, and just like the last time he was there in the normal castle, a quick flash of light came and went and the fingers on the clock both started to move. They both landed on the six, which was on the juu instead of the bottom due to everything in the ngome being in reverse. And just like the last time, it rang thirteen times. Dong…dong…dong…dong…dong…dong…dong…dong…dong…dong… dong…dong…dong. The floor opened and Skipper made his way up. When he arrived he found an elevator just like the last time, but instead of going...
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Chapter 6

Skipper made his way back to the Clock Tower. When he entered the room, a quick flash of light came and went, and the two fingers of the giant clock in the room were both rotating in different directions. They both landed on the six, and the clock made a total of thirteen toll sounds. After that extra toll sound the middle of the floor opened, and Skipper made his way down. When he made his way down he found a small elevator that looked like it will only go down, so he used it to go down. Once he arrived at the bottom he was in a pitch, black room, Skipper couldn't see a thing. Suddenly,...
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