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posted by yukikiyruu
Funny Stupid maswali to Ask People
What happens when wewe get 'half scared to death' twice?
Is it true cannibals don't eat clowns because they taste funny?
If all the world's a stage, where does the audience sit?
It it's tourist season why can't we shoot them?
Why are the alphabets in the order that they are? Is it because it's a song?
If wewe write a book about failure, and it doesn't sell, is it called success?
If upendo is blind, why is lingerie so popular?
If work is so terrific, how come wewe get paid for it?
If one synchronized swimmer drowns, do the others drown too?
Are the good things that come to people who wait, the leftovers of people who went before them?
Why did Yankee Doodle name the feather in his hat Macaroni?
Isn't Disney World a people trap operated kwa a mouse?
If electricity comes from electrons, does morality comes from morons?
Why aren't blueberries blue?
Why is Greenland called Greenland, when it's white and covered with ice?
Stupid maswali to Ask Someone
Why is the word for "a fear of long words," hippopotomonstrosesquippedaliophobia, so long?
Why does someone believe wewe when wewe say there are four billion stars, but check when wewe say the paint is wet?
What if Batman gets bitten kwa a vampire?
Did the Mayans get bored after reaching 2012 au is the predication for real?
Can we spell creativity however we want?
Do infants enjoy infancy as much as adults enjoy adultery?
Where are all the mentally handicapped parking spaces for people like me?
Has your mate ever called wewe at work to ask where the remote control is?
Was the person who invented the Express Lane at the grocery store properly thanked?
Why don't wewe ever see ads for advertising companies?
Why is it that when things get wet they get darker, even though water is clear?
If a fork were made of dhahabu would it still be considered silverware?
Why isn't chokoleti considered a vegetable, if chokoleti comes from kakao beans, and all beans are a vegetable?
Stupid maswali to Ask Your Friends
If something "goes without saying," why do people still say it?
wewe know the expression, "Don't quit your siku job?" Well what do wewe say to people that work nights?
Why is the 0 on a phone after 1 and not before 1?
Why do all the superheroes wear chupi, underpants on the outside?
If the president were gay, would his husband be the first man?
If wewe were a genie and a person asked wewe this wish, "I wish wewe would not grant me this wish" what would wewe do?
Did Noah have woodpeckers on the ark? If he did, where did he keep them?
Why don't the hairs on your arms get mgawanyiko, baidisha ends?
Do pyromaniacs wear blazers?
If wewe don't pay your exorcist, do wewe get repossessed?
When something is funny why is it called a "knee-slapper" when wewe actually slap your thigh?
Why do we teach kids that violence is not the answer and then have them read about wars in school that solved America's problems?
If money doesn't grow on trees then why do banks have branches?
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hujambo this is the 5th episode of Nick Reviews! This is a very special review, as I shall review the most evil company...Video Brinquedo! Why is it evil? Takes plagiarizes every good kids movie! Here are some examples.

Offender #1: Gladiformers.

Do I even need to explain this one? It's a Transformers knock off that doesn't come from the Dollar Tree/Store.

link

Offender #2: Ratatoing

This movie rips off Ratatouille, a Pixar film. It pretty much has the worst animation, a terrible plot, and the voices are terrible.

Offender #3: Little and Big Monsters

Oh gosh, this rips off Monsters vs Aliens. The monsters...
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(A/N) Still has gayness! cussing! and sex! so enjoy biggums! ^-^ xXx


~Ty's POV~

A week after Alice found out i was gay she invited Jason and I for some coffee.

"We should go, it would be fun" Jason alisema hugging me from behind.

"Coffee with my sister would be fun?" I asked grabbing his hands perched on my collarbone.

"Yeah, now that she knows, we can be ourselves, and we're pretty fucking awesome people" Jason alisema letting go and sitting on the couch.

I sat beside him, "Well, we are fucking awesome, fine we'll go."

Jason smiled and kissed my cheek.

I turned and kissed him on his lips.

I pulled away and...
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posted by MarMar_XigLux
Okay, first thing's first. Determine whether au not wewe are actually in a horror movie. Let's weigh the factors:

* wewe are, most likely, a bored teenager with nothing to do.
* wewe are, most likely, considerably worthless to society.
* wewe are, most likely, an idiot.
* wewe have, most likely, attracted the attention of a maniac in the past 24 hours.
* You, for no reason in particular, are looking up hints on how to survive in a horror movie.

-----

The following rules apply universally to nearly all horror movies. Print them out and keep them in your wallet. Glance at them every five dakika au so. Memorize...
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from the internet :)

1. Vary your vehicle’s speed inversely with the speed limit.

2. Roll down your windows and blast talk radio. Attempt to head bang.

3. At stop lights, eye the person in the inayofuata car suspiciously. With a look of fear, lock your doors.

4. Two words: Chicken suit.

5. Write the words "Help me” on your back window in red paint. The zaidi it looks like blood, the better.

6. Have conversations, looking periodically at the passenger seat, when driving alone.

7. Laugh a lot. A whole lot.

8. Stop at the green lights.

9. Go at the red ones.

10. Occasionally wave a stuffed animal/troll doll/Barbie...
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The following dumb laws are, au were at some point, actually laws in the United States listed below. Now, before wewe go any further do know that I'm not a lawyer nor am I claiming any responsibilty if wewe bail off and do something stupid au try using something here as a defense in court (rofl at that).

Alabama

In Jasper, it is illegal for a husband to beat his wife with a stick larger in diameter than his thumb.
It is illegal to wear a fake mustache that causes laughter in church.
It is illegal for a driver to be blindfolded while operating a vehicle.
It is illegal to play Dominos on Sunday.
Putting...
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I am sorry if this offends anyone, this is just for fun, i got bored. And i really hope wewe enjoy this.

Doofus (doo-doo that fusses)
Dough-head (play-dough head)
Dur-hur (ummmmmm.... idk actually)
Twidiot (a twin thats an idiot)
Dumbo (a dumb person named bo)
Baka (stupid cow, japenese its stupid, spanish its a cow)
Gerd (Girl nerd)
Girlilla (a girl that looks like a gorilla)
Gurd (girl turd)

If anyone has anymore ideas, please maoni and i will make another of these. Ok now i have to make zaidi lines.
__________________________________________________
upendo and Marriage:

"If falling in upendo is anything like learning how to spell, I don't want to do it. It takes too long." -- Glenn, age 7


"Love is like an avalanche where wewe have to run for your life." -- John, age 9


"I think you're supposed to get shot with an arrow au something, but the rest of it isn't supposed to be so painful." -- Manuel, age 8


"No one is sure why it happens, but I heard it has something to do with how wewe smell. That's why perfume and deodorant are so popular." -- Mae, age 9


"Love is the most important thing in the world, but baseball is pretty good too." -- Greg, age 8


"Once...
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Just randomly found this:

1. Throw popcorn in the air and yell, “It’s snowing!”
2. Go, “Oooooh…” whenever anyone kisses.
3. Clap when the good guy gets killed.
4. During the previews, yell, “Can wewe fast-forward it?”
5. Whenever the bad guy is doing something devious, say, “Watch out!”
6. Laugh very loudly at all the corny jokes.
7. Tell the man selling popcorn that the bathroom is flooding.
8. Yell out what is going to happen.
9. Wear a cape and when its your turn to get popcorn yell, “I’m Batman! Hahaha!” and run away.
10. Say that they cannot sit inayofuata to wewe because wewe invisible...
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Mother kept girls locked away from the world for seven years
Three girls who were imprisoned kwa their mother in a house of indescribable filth for seven years may never recover from the ordeal, experts have said.

The girls were shut away from the outside world, existing in almost complete darkness, playing only with mice and communicating in their own language.

When they were discovered, their nyumbani in a smart, upper middle-class suburb had no running water and was filled with waste and excrement a metre high. The floor was corroded kwa mice urine.

The case has stunned Austria, still reeling from...
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1. wewe can do whatever wewe damn well please.

2. Shave your legs and the razor is never dull from his face.

3. Not only is your razor not dull, who needs to shave at all now?

4. wewe can leave bra and other unmentionables in view.

5. wewe can slump around the house in any old thing.

6. wewe don't having to think about birth control, calendars au ovulation. Mother Nature can visit whenever she likes.

7. wewe can go out and flirt as much as your moyo desires, without a worry in the world.

8. The toilet kiti, kiti cha issue -- need I say more?

9. Free drinks at bars! Men seem to know when you're single and tend to...
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Dress up like one of the photographers and follow people around asking them repeatedly if they would like their picture taken.
Leave large gaps in between wewe and the people in front of wewe while waiting in line.
Every time wewe pass a chain restraint not in use, clip it on and use it to hold back the people behind wewe in line.
Ask the person running the roller coaster if someone has recently thrown up on it.
Pretend to freak out on a ride so they stop it to let wewe off.
Offer people money for their spots in line . . . Monopoly money.
Speak in Spanish, au pretend you're deaf and start making rapid...
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