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Chinese Horiscopes (freakishly correct) Good Luck!

Don’t cheat au it won’t work and you’ll be disappointed. Takes 3 minutes, try this - It will freak wewe out. Don’t read ahead, just do it. Worth a try.
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1st.) Get pen and paper.
2nd.) When choosing names make sure they are real people that wewe actually know.

3rd.) Go with your instincts. Very important for good results.

4th.) Scroll down one line at a time don’t read ahead otherwise you’ll ruin the fun.
1.) On a blank sheet of paper, write numbers 1 till 11 in a column on the left.

2.) inayofuata to the numbers 1 & 2, write down any 2 numbers wewe want

3.) inayofuata to the numbers 3 & 7, write down the names of 2 members of the opposite sex.

4.) Write anyone’s name. (Like Marafiki au family.) inayofuata to 4, 5, & 6.

5.)WRITE down 4 song titles in numbers 8, 9, 10, & 11.

6.) Finally, MAKE A WISH ARE wewe READY?

Here is the key to the game:~

The number of people that like wewe is found in space 2.

The person in space 3 is the one wewe love.

The person wewe like, but your relationship cannot work out is in space 7.

wewe care most about the person wewe put in space 4.

The person wewe name in space 5 is the person that knows wewe really well.

The person wewe named in space 6 is your lucky star.

The song in space 8 is the song that matches very well with the person in number 3.

The song in 9 is for person 7.

The 10th space is a song that tells wewe most about your mind.

And 11 is the song telling how wewe feel about life.

Number 1 is your lucky number.

*Repost this within an saa of read this. If wewe do, your wish will come true. * Repost with: Chinese Horoscope (Freakishly Correct) Good luck
posted by McDreamyluva
LOLs!!

HE: I'm a photographer I've been looking for a face like yours!
SHE: I'm a plastic surgeon. I've been looking for a face like yours

HE: May I have the pleasure of this dance?
SHE: No, I'd like to have some pleasure too !

HE: How did wewe get to be so beautiful?
SHE: I must have been aliyopewa your share !

HE: Will wewe come out with me this Saturday?
SHE: Sorry! I'm having a headache this weekend !

HE: Go on, don't be shy. Ask me out!
SHE: Okay, get out!

HE: I think I could make wewe very happy
SHE: Why? Are wewe leaving?

HE: What would wewe say if I asked u to marry me?
SHE: Nothing. I can't talk and laugh...
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posted by ilovepenguins
1) If upendo is blind, then why is there lingerie?
2) Why are they called "apartments" if they are all connected?
3) Should wewe believe a chronic liar if he admits that he is a chronic liar?
4) Did Adam and Eve have bellybuttons?
5) Why is it that mbwa upendo to hang their head out of the car window, but will get mad at wewe if wewe blow in their face?
6) If all the world is a stage, where is the audience?
7) If a mti falls in the forest and nobody is there to hear it, does it still make a sound?
8) If pro is the opposite of con, then wouldn't congress be the opposite of progress?
9) If the pembetano, pandetano were...
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•    A few clowns short of a circus

•    A few fries short of a Happy Meal

•    A few beers short of a six-pack

•    Dumber than a box of hair

•    A few peas short of a casserole, vyungu vya

•    Doesn't have all his cornflakes in one box

•    The wheel's spinning but the hamster's dead

•    One Froot Loop shy of a full bowl

•    A few feathers short of a whole bata

•    All foam, no beer...
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posted by Shelly_McShelly
•    Vary your vehicle’s speed inversely with the speed limit.

•    Roll down your windows and blast talk radio. Attempt to head bang.

•    At stop lights, eye the person in the inayofuata car suspiciously. With a look of fear, lock your doors.

•    Two words: Chicken suit.

•    Write the words “Help me” on your back window in red paint. The zaidi it looks like blood, the better.

•    Stop at the green lights.

•    Go at the red ones.

•    Occasionally...
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posted by Rock_n_Roll671
Okay, I;m not saying wewe should ACTUALLY do this, but if u want to, u can, and put in the maoni which ones you're going to try out.
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1. When you're getting a drink of water at the water fountain, and he passes by, get a handfull of water and throw it at the crotch of his pants, and then yell, "HE PEED HIS PANTS!"

2. Run underwear up a flagpoll, solute, and when your princible scolds you, say, "You're just saying that cuz wewe hate America."

3. When wewe go to the princible's office, and when he asks why wewe were sent, say, "I wrote that wewe sucked...
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posted by musicfanaticXD
1. Ancient Egypt was inhabited kwa mummies and they all wrote in hydraulics.They lived in the Sarah kitindamlo and traveled kwa Camelot. The climate of the Sarah is such that the inhabitants have to live elsewhere.

2. The Bible is full of interesting caricatures. In the first book of the Bible,Guinessis, Adam and Eve were created from an apple tree. One of their children,Cain, asked, “Am I my brother’s son?”

3. Moses led the Hebrew slaves to the Red Sea, where they made unleavened mkate which is mkate made without any ingredients. Moses went up on Mount Cyanide to get the ten commandments. He...
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posted by Alexyss_Cullen
wewe came into my life as an unknown face
Not ever knowing our friendship,
I would one siku embrace
As I wonder Through My thoughts and memories of u,
It Brings many Big Smiles and laughter so true

I upendo the special bond that we beutifully share,
I upendo the way wewe onyesha u really care,
Our Friendship means the aboslute world to me
I only hope this is somthin i can make u see,
Not hear

Thank u for opening ur mind and soul,
I will do all i can to help heal,
ur hearts little wholes
Remember ur secrets are forever salama within me,
I will keep them under the tightest lock & key

Always Remember..If ur ever in...
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1)At the movies: When wewe meet acquaintances/ friends.. .
Stupid Question: Hey, what are wewe doing here?
Answer: Don't u know, I sell tickets in black over here.

2)In the bus: A heavy lady wearing pointed high-heeled shoes steps on your feet...
Stupid Question: Sorry, did that hurt?
Answer: No, not at all, I'm on local anesthesia. Why don't wewe try again?

3)At a funeral: One of the teary eyed people ask...
Stupid Question: Why, why him, of all people.
Answer: Why? Would it rather have been you?

4)At a restaurant: When wewe ask the waiter
Stupid Question: Is the "Paneer siagi Masala" dish good?...
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xD... I found that alot of ppl are posting these ^^

1. Follow them around the house everywhere.

2. Moo when they say your name.

3. In the grocery store, try to stick as many melons down yer pants as wewe can and then start dancing

4. Say everything backwards.

5. Run into walls.

6. Say that wearing clothes is against your religion.

7. Go into their room at 4 in the morning and say "Good Morning Sunshine!"

8. Snort loudly when wewe laugh and then laugh harder.

9. Everytime they say your name jump up and down rub yer stomach and pat your head.

10. Pluck someone's hair out and yell "DNA!!!"

11. Wear...
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* machungwa, chungwa Lavaburst
* peach, pichi (no longer produced)
* Poppin' pink Lemonade
* strawberry Kiwi Kraze
* Torrential Tropical Punch
* Wild Cherry
* Candy apple cooler


[edit] Hi-C Blast

* Berry Blue
* Blue Watermelon
* matunda Pow
* matunda Punch
* Orange
* machungwa, chungwa Supernova
* pink Lemonade
* raspberry, rasiberi Kiwi
* Strawberry
* strawberry Kiwi
* Wild Berry

[edit] Hi-C sour, wamekula Blast

* Green Apple
* Strawberry
* Wild Cherry
__________________________________________________

THE WORD HI 61 TIMES

hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi
Did wewe really have to leave?
Without saying goodbye
Leaving me in tears
Wondering why?

I was really hoping
to be zaidi than a friend
But for some strange reason
My plan had to end

As I recalled
That very special siku
I was thinking "hey!
What did he have to say?"

During that siku
there was lots to be alisema
And I realized that
It all went in my head

When wewe alisema "I upendo you"
I alisema "I upendo wewe too"
But now I'm just questioning
Was it ever true?
__________________________________________________

I promised to be your friend.
Always and Forever.
Never had I thought
We would be zaidi
What if I did...
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10) Collect potatoes. Paint faces on them and give them names. Name one after your roommate. Separate your roommate's potato from the others. Wait a few days, and then bake your roommate's potato and eat it. Explain to your roommate, "He just didn't belong."
9) songesha everything to one side of the room. Ask your roommate if he knows how much an tembo weighs, and look at the floor on the empty side of the room with concern.
8) Draw a tiny black line on your nose. Make it bigger every day. Look at it and say, "The hair, it's growing. Growing!"
7) Buy some knives. Sharpen them every night. While...
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10. we have a slim chance we might be able to make a non hangover wine.....more amazing things have happened.....Actually that might be a lie.
9. We've all got our Marafiki and family....And chocolate.
8. We also have light chocolate!
7. we also have dark chocolate!
6. Did I mention we have chocolate?
5. If the "Waters of mars" doctor who special scared the cra* out of you, at least your not alone...
4. Even if wewe sometimes feel sad au depressed, the sun will come out tomorrow....OR if your used to typical british wheather then this doesn't apply to wewe sorry, but if your in any other country, then wewe still have ten reasons to stay sane!
3. When wewe think of chokoleti everything seems to go your way...
2. There's someone for everyone!
1. Thats the lot! :)
-Pandawinx. :)
(PS thanks for reading! :) )
posted by Shelly_McShelly
1. If using a touch-tone, press bila mpangilio numbers while ordering. Ask the person taking the order to stop doing that.

2. Make up a charge-card name. Ask if they accept it.

3. Use CB lingo where applicable.

4. Order a Big Mac Extra Value Meal.

5. Terminate the call with, "Remember, we never had this conversation."

6. Tell the order taker a rival pizza place is on the other line and you're going with the lowest bidder.

7. Give them your address, exclaim "Oh, just surprise me!" and hang up.

8. Answer their maswali with questions.

9. In your breathiest voice, tell them to cut the crap about nutrition and...
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1. "Do not use if wewe cannot see clearly to read the information in the information booklet." -- In the information booklet.

2. "Caution: The contents of this bottle should not be fed to fish." -- On a bottle of shampoo for dogs.

3. "For external use only!" -- On a curling iron.

4. "Warning: This product can burn eyes." -- On a curling iron.

5. "Do not use in shower." -- On a hair dryer.

6. "Do not use while sleeping." -- On a hair dryer.

7. "Do not use while sleeping au unconscious." -- On a hand-held massaging device.

8. "Do not place this product into any electronic equipment." -- On the case of...
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posted by Shelly_McShelly
Colonel Sanders
There's no reason to be the richest man in the cemetery. wewe can't do any business from there.

Roseanne Barr
Experts say wewe should never hit your children in anger. When is a good time? When you're feeling festive?

W.C. Fields
I am free of all prejudices. I hate everyone equally.

Milton Berle
They've finally come up with the perfect office computer. If it makes a mistake, it blames another computer.

George Gobal
If it weren't for electricity we'd all be watching televisheni kwa candlelight.

Groucho Marx
I find televisheni very educating. Every time somebody turns on the set, I go into the...
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WELDONE!

YOU HAVE FAILED TO IGNORE THIS MESSAGE TO wewe - THE PERSON WHO FAILED!

dear fellow fanpop failures...

i have failed to bring wewe the news of fail blog sooner...

some of wewe may know but the rest of wewe probabley fail to know what im talking about. well fail blog is the brand new fail site. it's stuffed full of posts of your siku to siku FAILS. it does have the occasional win... there are the most bila mpangilio posts of failed picha shots of failures ilitumwa kwa dedicated failed fail-er fail finders some are plain stupid but it won't fail to make wewe laugh! wewe can take failed pictures your self...
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Hey,it's werewolflover.you seemed to like my other makala like this so here's another one.I hope wewe enjoy and please rate and comment.
#1 sit in your front yard and every time someone walks kwa (even a dog) moo where they can hear.
#2 Have a chai party with Mr.Wiggles.If anyone wals kwa say "would wewe like to jiunge us?"
#3 scream at everyone to hide because the pink fuzzy bananas are taking over the world.
#4 go to a park/any large grassy area where people are,sit down and scream.
#5 Start coughing and then say "sorry my chipmunk,Fred was trying to get out of my stomach.Then say to Fred,be good au I'm taking your DS away.
I personally think my first one was better,but what do ya think?
posted by xxXsk8trXxx
1. Go to a Miley Cyrus tamasha with an obsessed Twilight Fangirl, and go up on stage with her in the middle of the tamasha and talk about Edward Cullen (fangirl au not). Make sure wewe both wear My Chemical Romance T-Shirts.

2. Make a gossip magazine write about a Joe Jonas and Robert Patterson scandal.

3. Tell Selena Gomez au Demi Lovato that they're bad role models.

4. Diss Selena Gomez's fasion style.

5. Bring Marilyn Manson and Gene Simmons (both with makeup) to the set of Sonny With A Chance.

6. Compare Joe Jonas's koti, jacket in "Burnin Up" and a The Black Parade jacket. Farmiliar?

7. Morph Miley...
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onyesha this to your math teacher, and tell me what his/her reaction is! ^_^

Pi = 3.
141592653589793238462643383279502884197169399 375105820974944592307816406286208998628034825 342117067982148086513282306647093844609550582 231725359408128481117450284102701938521105559 644622948954930381964428810975665933446128475 648233786783165271201909145648566923460348610 454326648213393607260249141273724587006606315 588174881520920962829254091715364367892590360 011330530548820466521384146951941511609433057 270365759591953092186117381932611793105118548 074462379962749567351885752724891227938183011 949129833673362440656643086021394946395224737...
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