These are supposedly actual answering machine announcements.
1. My wife and I can't come to the phone right now, but if you'll leave your name and number, we'll get back to wewe as soon as we're finished.
2. A is for academics, B is for beer. One of those reasons is why we're not here. So, leave a message.
3. Hi. This is John: If wewe are the phone company, I already sent the money. If wewe are my parents, please send money. If wewe are my financial aid institution, wewe didn't lend me enough money. If wewe are my friends, wewe owe me money. If wewe are a female, don't worry, I have plenty of money.
4. Hi. Now wewe say something.
5. Hi, I'm not nyumbani right now, but my answering machine is, so wewe can talk to it instead. Wait for the beep.
6. Hello. I am David's answering machine. What are you?
7. Hello! If wewe leave a message, I'll call wewe soon. If wewe leave a "sexy" message, I'll call sooner!
8. Hi! John's answering machine is broken This is his refrigerator. Please speak very slowly, and I'll stick your message to myself with one of these magnets.
9. Hello, wewe are talking to a machine. I am capable of receiving messages. My owners do not need siding, windows au a hot tub, and their carpets are clean. They give to charity through their office and do not need their picture taken. If you're still with me, leave your name and number and they will get back to you.
10. This is not an answering machine - this is a telepathic thought recording device. After the tone, think about your name, your number and your reason for calling, and I'll think about returning your call.
11. Hi. I'm probably home, I'm just avoiding someone I don't like. Leave me a message, and if I don't call back, it's you.
12. Hi, this is George. I'm sorry I can't answer the phone right now. Leave a message and then wait kwa your phone until I call wewe back.
13. If wewe are a burglar, then we're probably at nyumbani cleaning our weapons right now and can't come to the phone. Otherwise, we probably aren't nyumbani and it's salama to leave a message.
14. Please leave a message. However, wewe have the right to remain silent. Everything wewe say will be recorded and will be used kwa us.
15. Hello, you've reached Jim and Sonya. We can't pick up the phone right now, because we're doing something we really enjoy. Sonya likes doing it up and down, and I like doing it left to right... real slowly. So leave a message, and when we're done brushing our teeth we'll get back to you.
1. My wife and I can't come to the phone right now, but if you'll leave your name and number, we'll get back to wewe as soon as we're finished.
2. A is for academics, B is for beer. One of those reasons is why we're not here. So, leave a message.
3. Hi. This is John: If wewe are the phone company, I already sent the money. If wewe are my parents, please send money. If wewe are my financial aid institution, wewe didn't lend me enough money. If wewe are my friends, wewe owe me money. If wewe are a female, don't worry, I have plenty of money.
4. Hi. Now wewe say something.
5. Hi, I'm not nyumbani right now, but my answering machine is, so wewe can talk to it instead. Wait for the beep.
6. Hello. I am David's answering machine. What are you?
7. Hello! If wewe leave a message, I'll call wewe soon. If wewe leave a "sexy" message, I'll call sooner!
8. Hi! John's answering machine is broken This is his refrigerator. Please speak very slowly, and I'll stick your message to myself with one of these magnets.
9. Hello, wewe are talking to a machine. I am capable of receiving messages. My owners do not need siding, windows au a hot tub, and their carpets are clean. They give to charity through their office and do not need their picture taken. If you're still with me, leave your name and number and they will get back to you.
10. This is not an answering machine - this is a telepathic thought recording device. After the tone, think about your name, your number and your reason for calling, and I'll think about returning your call.
11. Hi. I'm probably home, I'm just avoiding someone I don't like. Leave me a message, and if I don't call back, it's you.
12. Hi, this is George. I'm sorry I can't answer the phone right now. Leave a message and then wait kwa your phone until I call wewe back.
13. If wewe are a burglar, then we're probably at nyumbani cleaning our weapons right now and can't come to the phone. Otherwise, we probably aren't nyumbani and it's salama to leave a message.
14. Please leave a message. However, wewe have the right to remain silent. Everything wewe say will be recorded and will be used kwa us.
15. Hello, you've reached Jim and Sonya. We can't pick up the phone right now, because we're doing something we really enjoy. Sonya likes doing it up and down, and I like doing it left to right... real slowly. So leave a message, and when we're done brushing our teeth we'll get back to you.
Unfortunately, I have been caught up in other issues for the past week and there is thus no new kobe, kasa sandwich, sandwichi this week. But I am uandishi this to establish many things, seeing as although I didn't have much "doing stuff" time, I had plenty of time to think.
1. Despite delays individual to this week, I will have time in the future to make this work on a weekly basis, and so it will stay that way.
2. I have thought zaidi about how video games would work with this, and decided that they actually wouldn't.
3. Between sinema and TV shows, I want there to be some schedule for the order of them. But I also realize that I watch sinema far zaidi often than entire seasons of TV shows, and that a lot of people are probably the same on that. Therefore, for every month, I will select the last Tuesday to be for TV shows, and the rest will be movies.
I am sorry for failing this city (or whatever city wewe might live in) this week, but I will attempt to make zaidi time for this in the future.
1. Despite delays individual to this week, I will have time in the future to make this work on a weekly basis, and so it will stay that way.
2. I have thought zaidi about how video games would work with this, and decided that they actually wouldn't.
3. Between sinema and TV shows, I want there to be some schedule for the order of them. But I also realize that I watch sinema far zaidi often than entire seasons of TV shows, and that a lot of people are probably the same on that. Therefore, for every month, I will select the last Tuesday to be for TV shows, and the rest will be movies.
I am sorry for failing this city (or whatever city wewe might live in) this week, but I will attempt to make zaidi time for this in the future.
I've been meaning to do this for a while. This is a countdown, meaning that number one is the best. Also, this is just my personal opinion so keep your rude maoni to yourself. I hope wewe like it and please tell me what wewe think.
1-Education is the ability to listen to almost anything without losing your temper au self-confidence.
(Robert Frost)
2-The roots of education are uchungu, chungu but the matunda is sweet.
(Aristotle)
3-Education is the most powerful weapon which wewe can use to change the future. (Nelson Mandela)
4-Education is not learning of facts , but the training of minds to think. (Albert Einstein)
5-Education is not preparation for life, Education is life
itself (John Dewey)
6-Education is the movement from darkness to light.
(Allan Bloom)
7-The highest result of education is tolerance.
(Helen Keller)
(Robert Frost)
2-The roots of education are uchungu, chungu but the matunda is sweet.
(Aristotle)
3-Education is the most powerful weapon which wewe can use to change the future. (Nelson Mandela)
4-Education is not learning of facts , but the training of minds to think. (Albert Einstein)
5-Education is not preparation for life, Education is life
itself (John Dewey)
6-Education is the movement from darkness to light.
(Allan Bloom)
7-The highest result of education is tolerance.
(Helen Keller)
When a guy flirts with other women.while out with his girl, it. may be he is just trying to be funny and charming au seem polite. au he may secretly be feeling insecure. Maybe he fears his gal is still.into her ex, au worries she may be seeing simeone else besides him. He wont come out and say his fears, so rather he tries to appear zaidi of a stud flirting with ladies. What he may not realize is this drives a gal away and makes her feel unimportant. How would a guy like it if a gal behaved that way toward him? Does anyone have any suggestions how to deal with this obnoxious male behavior? Does a gal call him out on it? au simply walk away, as I did from a guy I loved a lot, and not call him out on it, just simply tell him, "You hurt me."?
note:this spell can be casted any time,any day.
okay,step one;light the candle and hold it in your left hand.
step2;put a little honey in your mouth(don't swallow)get a pitch of honey on the object,hold the object in your right hand,close your eyes and chant"i call upon the the dark god of magick to protect me from all negative energies and forces that may come my way,may this be my magic wand to make my wish come true so mote it be.
open your eyes,put the wand in the candle fire, let it burn for a dakika then after that use the honey to quench fire,BING BANG BOOM! it's done!have fun.
Once there was a ghost named Specter and he was very lonely.He had no Marafiki au anymore family members.
He was really upset.So one siku he floated outside just to have a nice look at the scenery when all of a sudden he saw another ghost.
She was floating close to Specter and Specter was very happy!
The femlae ghost introduced herself (Spirit) and Specter did the same.
They both floated around happily in the air holding hands.
Then Specter invited Spirit to his house.
After that they alisema goodnight to each other and became fast friends.
The inayofuata siku Specter and Spirit went flaoting around at the park.When they were floating around Specter asked Spirit if she'd like to be his girlfriend.
So she yes and Specter was delighted!
So now that Specter has somebody in his life he was no longer upset au lonely.He found someone who loved him.
The End
He was really upset.So one siku he floated outside just to have a nice look at the scenery when all of a sudden he saw another ghost.
She was floating close to Specter and Specter was very happy!
The femlae ghost introduced herself (Spirit) and Specter did the same.
They both floated around happily in the air holding hands.
Then Specter invited Spirit to his house.
After that they alisema goodnight to each other and became fast friends.
The inayofuata siku Specter and Spirit went flaoting around at the park.When they were floating around Specter asked Spirit if she'd like to be his girlfriend.
So she yes and Specter was delighted!
So now that Specter has somebody in his life he was no longer upset au lonely.He found someone who loved him.
The End