1. wewe can do whatever wewe damn well please.
2. Shave your legs and the razor is never dull from his face.
3. Not only is your razor not dull, who needs to shave at all now?
4. wewe can leave bra and other unmentionables in view.
5. wewe can slump around the house in any old thing.
6. wewe don't having to think about birth control, calendars au ovulation. Mother Nature can visit whenever she likes.
7. wewe can go out and flirt as much as your moyo desires, without a worry in the world.
8. The toilet kiti, kiti cha issue -- need I say more?
9. Free drinks at bars! Men seem to know when you're single and tend to be very generous.
10. wewe can have male Marafiki without having to defend yourself and explain that nothing else is going on.
11. wewe can finally see all the good video -- the romantic, cheesy films. (Get some ideas girly video in our Chick Flicks area.)
12. No one grossing out over Tampax wrappers being anywhere in the house.
13. wewe don't have to wear thong panties unless wewe want to wear them.
14. wewe can have sexual gratification at any time, not just when the sports games are over.
15. wewe don't have to deal with anyone's grumpy, moody personalities.
16.You can get the juice/cheese/toilet paper/videos/CDs/take-out that wewe want.
17. wewe can spend as much time as wewe want with your family and nobody's lip will drag the ground
18. There is no one putting wewe on a tiny pedestal that wewe can fall off of at any moment, unless wewe are focusing on your balance all siku long.
19. wewe don't have to stroke the fragile male ego, and other things.
20. No needless exposure to foulness, burping, gas and so on.
21. Never worry if the maziwa carton had been directly drunken out of.
22. wewe are free at a party au bar to talk to who wewe please, and wewe don't always have to turn to and say 'Hon, let's go over and talk to so and so.
23. "You can watch Oprah, Rosie, figure skating, and cooking/decorating shows without having to defend yourself.
24. wewe can buy what wewe want at the grocery store. So what if wewe want to have spaghetti, tambi four nights in a row?
25. wewe can talk to your girlfriends for hours on the phone without getting dirty, exasperated looks.
26. No 'buddies' coming over for 'a couple of beers' then staying and commenting on Pamela Anderson all night (like any of them have a chance).
27. No zaidi checking with someone to see if 'it's okay' to tell someone yes au no to an invitation. wewe can accept on the spot.
28. wewe don't have to do laundry because he has no clean socks.
29. wewe can fill the fridge with fresh matunda and veggies, bottled water, one-percent maziwa and applesauce instead of cold cuts, bia and Velveeta."
30. No zaidi Cinemax, American Flyers, Steven Seagal au Jackie Chan. wewe are free to watch Emeril and Ming Tsai three times a siku if wewe want.
31. wewe no longer have to reassure him that he does indeed look like Bruce Willis.
32. wewe can be happy with who wewe are, not who he wants wewe to be."
33. Your dryer is no longer a fifth dresser drawer.
34. If wewe are depressed au mad at the world for a few minutes, wewe don't have to worry about having your 'outlook on life' analyzed.
35. wewe can buy something for yourself (a new dress, CD, shoes, au whatever) without being asked, 'What do wewe need that for?'
36. wewe can eat garlic au onions without a sekunde thought about breath mints.
37. wewe don't have to give yourself lame excuses for not devoting time to yourself.
38. No one is going to get insulted when wewe spend the siku at the beach, pwani checking out the lifeguards.
39. wewe can have eight hours of undisturbed sleep with the covers all to yourself.
40. wewe can go to kitanda in flannel and plaid rather than Frederick's and Victoria
41. The TV Guide crossword puzzle is YOURS, ALL YOURS.
42. If wewe tidy up your apartment, it will STAY neat until wewe mess it up again!
43. wewe can spend your paycheck on what wewe want.
44. Your Marafiki can sleep over and no sleazy 'Can I jiunge in?' maoni are made.
45. wewe don't have to worry if he will au won't call.
46. No zaidi arguments about things wewe can't explain.
47. wewe can have a clean bathroom with the toilet kiti, kiti cha where wewe want it.
48. Not only are your dinners free when wewe go out on those first dates, but they take wewe out to nice places.
49. No snoring!"
50. The best reason for being single is: Vibrators don't talk back, wewe can turn them off and on, and they don't stop until they are through serving their purpose.
2. Shave your legs and the razor is never dull from his face.
3. Not only is your razor not dull, who needs to shave at all now?
4. wewe can leave bra and other unmentionables in view.
5. wewe can slump around the house in any old thing.
6. wewe don't having to think about birth control, calendars au ovulation. Mother Nature can visit whenever she likes.
7. wewe can go out and flirt as much as your moyo desires, without a worry in the world.
8. The toilet kiti, kiti cha issue -- need I say more?
9. Free drinks at bars! Men seem to know when you're single and tend to be very generous.
10. wewe can have male Marafiki without having to defend yourself and explain that nothing else is going on.
11. wewe can finally see all the good video -- the romantic, cheesy films. (Get some ideas girly video in our Chick Flicks area.)
12. No one grossing out over Tampax wrappers being anywhere in the house.
13. wewe don't have to wear thong panties unless wewe want to wear them.
14. wewe can have sexual gratification at any time, not just when the sports games are over.
15. wewe don't have to deal with anyone's grumpy, moody personalities.
16.You can get the juice/cheese/toilet paper/videos/CDs/take-out that wewe want.
17. wewe can spend as much time as wewe want with your family and nobody's lip will drag the ground
18. There is no one putting wewe on a tiny pedestal that wewe can fall off of at any moment, unless wewe are focusing on your balance all siku long.
19. wewe don't have to stroke the fragile male ego, and other things.
20. No needless exposure to foulness, burping, gas and so on.
21. Never worry if the maziwa carton had been directly drunken out of.
22. wewe are free at a party au bar to talk to who wewe please, and wewe don't always have to turn to and say 'Hon, let's go over and talk to so and so.
23. "You can watch Oprah, Rosie, figure skating, and cooking/decorating shows without having to defend yourself.
24. wewe can buy what wewe want at the grocery store. So what if wewe want to have spaghetti, tambi four nights in a row?
25. wewe can talk to your girlfriends for hours on the phone without getting dirty, exasperated looks.
26. No 'buddies' coming over for 'a couple of beers' then staying and commenting on Pamela Anderson all night (like any of them have a chance).
27. No zaidi checking with someone to see if 'it's okay' to tell someone yes au no to an invitation. wewe can accept on the spot.
28. wewe don't have to do laundry because he has no clean socks.
29. wewe can fill the fridge with fresh matunda and veggies, bottled water, one-percent maziwa and applesauce instead of cold cuts, bia and Velveeta."
30. No zaidi Cinemax, American Flyers, Steven Seagal au Jackie Chan. wewe are free to watch Emeril and Ming Tsai three times a siku if wewe want.
31. wewe no longer have to reassure him that he does indeed look like Bruce Willis.
32. wewe can be happy with who wewe are, not who he wants wewe to be."
33. Your dryer is no longer a fifth dresser drawer.
34. If wewe are depressed au mad at the world for a few minutes, wewe don't have to worry about having your 'outlook on life' analyzed.
35. wewe can buy something for yourself (a new dress, CD, shoes, au whatever) without being asked, 'What do wewe need that for?'
36. wewe can eat garlic au onions without a sekunde thought about breath mints.
37. wewe don't have to give yourself lame excuses for not devoting time to yourself.
38. No one is going to get insulted when wewe spend the siku at the beach, pwani checking out the lifeguards.
39. wewe can have eight hours of undisturbed sleep with the covers all to yourself.
40. wewe can go to kitanda in flannel and plaid rather than Frederick's and Victoria
41. The TV Guide crossword puzzle is YOURS, ALL YOURS.
42. If wewe tidy up your apartment, it will STAY neat until wewe mess it up again!
43. wewe can spend your paycheck on what wewe want.
44. Your Marafiki can sleep over and no sleazy 'Can I jiunge in?' maoni are made.
45. wewe don't have to worry if he will au won't call.
46. No zaidi arguments about things wewe can't explain.
47. wewe can have a clean bathroom with the toilet kiti, kiti cha where wewe want it.
48. Not only are your dinners free when wewe go out on those first dates, but they take wewe out to nice places.
49. No snoring!"
50. The best reason for being single is: Vibrators don't talk back, wewe can turn them off and on, and they don't stop until they are through serving their purpose.
1.You abuse our upendo wewe lose it.
2.When we find the right guy we upendo him and NEVER want to lose him.
3.Our upendo is a privlige NOT a right.
4.Our hearts are delicate items, so when we do give them to the guy we upendo be careful with it.
5.Drinking will NOT impress us in any way shape au form.
6.Guys wewe should respect our feelings.
7.In our relationship with wewe (the guy) We have dominance to.
8.We're as good at listening as we are at talking.
9.When it comes to the guy we truly upendo we will devote A LOT of our time to only you.
10.When wewe (the guy we love) break our hearts, you've pretty much killed us until we heal.
2.When we find the right guy we upendo him and NEVER want to lose him.
3.Our upendo is a privlige NOT a right.
4.Our hearts are delicate items, so when we do give them to the guy we upendo be careful with it.
5.Drinking will NOT impress us in any way shape au form.
6.Guys wewe should respect our feelings.
7.In our relationship with wewe (the guy) We have dominance to.
8.We're as good at listening as we are at talking.
9.When it comes to the guy we truly upendo we will devote A LOT of our time to only you.
10.When wewe (the guy we love) break our hearts, you've pretty much killed us until we heal.
Just kusoma some of the Terminator nukuu through again... and actually found a hint on what happened between Arnold and the maid. Enjoy my version!
Maid: Nice night for a walk, eh?
Arnold Schwarzenegger: Nice night for a walk.
Maid #2: Wash siku tomorrow? Nothing clean, right?
Arnold Schwarzenegger: Nothing clean. Right.
Maid: Hey, I think this guy's a couple cans short of a six-pack.
Arnold Schwarzenegger: Your clothes... give them to me, now.
Maid: Fuck you, asshole!
Arnold nods.
I know there are a lot of people making fun of Arnold Schwarzenegger since he admitted to his wife that he's not only a cheater but a liar as well. wewe might get annoyed kwa it and think "Oh poor Arnie". But honestly? This guy just ASKED for it. It takes a big jerk to have a child with another woman, an even bigger one to keep it a secret for 14 years and the biggest one to only reveal it to his wife after he quit his job so there'd be no damage to his position.
Maid: Nice night for a walk, eh?
Arnold Schwarzenegger: Nice night for a walk.
Maid #2: Wash siku tomorrow? Nothing clean, right?
Arnold Schwarzenegger: Nothing clean. Right.
Maid: Hey, I think this guy's a couple cans short of a six-pack.
Arnold Schwarzenegger: Your clothes... give them to me, now.
Maid: Fuck you, asshole!
Arnold nods.
I know there are a lot of people making fun of Arnold Schwarzenegger since he admitted to his wife that he's not only a cheater but a liar as well. wewe might get annoyed kwa it and think "Oh poor Arnie". But honestly? This guy just ASKED for it. It takes a big jerk to have a child with another woman, an even bigger one to keep it a secret for 14 years and the biggest one to only reveal it to his wife after he quit his job so there'd be no damage to his position.
from the internet :)
(1) Tell him that he looked better bald.
(2) Put purple dye in his shampoo.
(3) When he goes to get his hair trimed, tell the barber that he would get 100 dollars to cut all his hair off.
(4) Ask what it was like to have Ke$ha babysit him.
(5) Tell him he reminds wewe of the Ken doll.
(6) Ask if Selena is his Barbie girl.
(7) Change his ringtone to 'Whip my Hair'.
(8) Call him while he's doing a talk show.
(9) Ask why he keeps making songs about relationships.
(10) Ask if he wants to dump Selena because he keeps making those songs.
(11) Give his fangirls his nyumbani adress
(12) Finally, ask why he goes for older women instead of 16-year olds. When he majibu he thinks they're cute tell him that your telling Selena that she's too young for him
(1) Tell him that he looked better bald.
(2) Put purple dye in his shampoo.
(3) When he goes to get his hair trimed, tell the barber that he would get 100 dollars to cut all his hair off.
(4) Ask what it was like to have Ke$ha babysit him.
(5) Tell him he reminds wewe of the Ken doll.
(6) Ask if Selena is his Barbie girl.
(7) Change his ringtone to 'Whip my Hair'.
(8) Call him while he's doing a talk show.
(9) Ask why he keeps making songs about relationships.
(10) Ask if he wants to dump Selena because he keeps making those songs.
(11) Give his fangirls his nyumbani adress
(12) Finally, ask why he goes for older women instead of 16-year olds. When he majibu he thinks they're cute tell him that your telling Selena that she's too young for him