bila mpangilio Club
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posted by cute20k
1. Dial a bila mpangilio number and confuse the person who majibu kwa saying things like;
"Why did wewe call me?", "How's Billy Bob?", "Thank's for last night! (make kissy noises in phone", "I'm sorry to hear about your loss (hang up immediately)", "What happened to your mother is horrible! I'm so sorry she had to leave us on that note!", etc.

2. Look up bila mpangilio statements in foreign languages and recite the statements to those who speak the language.

3. Post a bila mpangilio makala like this.

4. At walmart au somewhere similar, go up to an obese woman, au a man for extra affect, and wish them good luck with their upcoming child while staring at their stomach in a serious tone.

5. Go sit in your front yard and wave to the people walking bye. Greet them with something like, "Hey Sally, how's the kids?"

6. Text everyone wewe know something like, "Happy international talk-like-a-viking-day!"

7. Write a comic book including yourself staring as a superhero along with your Marafiki as your sidekick au other superheros and make your arch nemisis some one wewe deeply despise.

8. Flirt with perverts on the web. (Best times are around 9-11 am in my time, in the south eastern area of the united states, sorry I don't know time zones!)

9. (girls, au cross-dressers....) Blind fold your Marafiki and yourself and give each other blind makeovers. (results may vary)

10. (girls au kuvuka, msalaba dressers..) First you'll need a half full/half empty au completely empty perfume au body mist bottle. Add smelly things and strange liquids while trying to maintain a believeable color and offer the original fragrance to either a friend as a joke au to an enemy.
1. Change the lyrics to a maarufu song to hilarious bila mpangilio lyrics.

12. Find a poster of a celeb. wewe hate au a picture of an enemy and use markers/cheap makeup to paint them into your point of view towards them.

13. Drive a riding lawnmower down the mitaani, mtaa casually.

14. Carry a kitanda down the mitaani, mtaa and see how long it takes until someone calls the police.

15. Try some of the Candy in the medicine cabinet.

16. Tell everyone how much wewe upendo them, including strangers.

17. (aimed at guys) Undress and meet me in the back with the jack at the juke box ;) (jk)

18. Take your pants off and run around your neighborhood screaming "MY PANTS ARE ON FIRE!"

19. Chat with strangers on the internet! That seems to be what most of us do.

20. Try a stage slide in shorts.

21. Complain to bila mpangilio strangers about a bruise on your buttox.

22. Give your mother a moyo attack and tell her your pregnant. (especially affective for guys but aimed at girls)

23. Shake up a soda can (while the hobos not looking) and politely offer the cold drink to a hobo seemingly obliviously.

24. Try to make your own soda. (ex. For machungwa, chungwa soda add machungwa, chungwa chakula coloring au machungwa, chungwa juisi to sprite) Now offer your creation to someone.
25. (girls... au cross-dressers) Hang upside down from a mti and give your friend a makeover.

26.Go streaking through town.

27. Go skinny dipping.

28. Write cuss words on the side walk with chalk in a neighborhood with small children.

29. Try playing baseball with tomatoes.

30. Go around town getting bila mpangilio people to sign your t-shirt.

31. Have a free hug day.

32. Have a cake/pie fight.

33. Ask for band name suggestions at a gay bar.(I've done this before. Hilarious outcomes.) *

34. Play midnight subway gari game (run from subway gari to subway gari before the doors close.)

35. Throw a themed party (ex. football bros and cheerleading hoes)

36. Water gun drive by.

37. Have a picnic on a roof!
38. Flour Bombing- it's really cheap and easy...
Buy a load of cheap tissues and flour.
Open a tissue up and put about a handful of flour inside.
Then screw the juu of the tissue up so that it is sealed, but not too tight.
Make as many of these as wewe like and mgawanyiko, baidisha them out evenly between your friends.
Find a large field au garden, put on some old clothes and go crazy throwing them at eachother (it's even better at night!)
Same rules apply as in paintballing!

39. Racing in shopping carts is major fun.

40. Push your friend in a baby stroller (let go) down the steepest kilima in your neighborhood (A 1st aid kit might come in handy.)

41.Take ketchup packets from McDonalds and leave them under car tires in a parking lot.

45. Do the same with eggs and rotten tomatoes.

46. Sit your younger brother/sister/cousin/something (If wewe don't have these subsitutions may include a close friend who's good at being annoying) on a kinyesi in wewe front yard and try to auction them off.

47. Leave a hamburger on juu of someone's car and wait in a car nearby and watch their reaction..

48. Tell some little kids your having an Easter Egg Hunt au something ( But don't hide anything!!) And watch as they look and look.

49.Jump Trucking (jump on the back of a truck/van and see where it takes you)
50. WalMart au Super Store Frogging(basically means wewe plan to sneak a sleepover, they stay open for 24 hours so hide and wait til everyones gone)

51. T-P someone's house

52. Cow tipping!!

53. Wait until its dark and when a neighbor au family comes home. Hide in the bushes and as they walk by, spray them with something like silly string au washable spray paint.

54. Go chakula Sampling (like trick au treating, instead of door to door wewe go store to store and collect bila mpangilio chakula samples--the mall chakula court is a good place to start. At the end of the day, dump all your collectibles on a plate and have lunch/dinner together)

55. Mute Dialogue a Movie au a TV onyesha (bring down the sound au mute it and make up what they're saying lol)

56. Night time Glow PaintBall shooting/Water Balloon Fighting (fill guns with glow in the dark paint au fill water balloons and make a game of it at night...Remember the zaidi wewe get hit the easier it is to find wewe and target wewe again. Play til wewe run out)

57. Ride Railing of an escalator (run up a down escalator, run down an up escalator...Warning: the inexperienced WILL get hurt---or thrown out lol)

58. inayofuata time wewe go eat fast chakula go thru the drive thru without a car and demand service!

59. Fast chakula Hopping. Grab Mcdonalds fries, Burger King Whoppers, Wendy's Frosty, Arby's mozzarella Sticks, KFC nuggets, Subway drink (or switch it around, then sit down outside a fancy restaurant and have a nice but cheap meal and do some people watching especially as they come out of the restaurant with empty wallets)
60. Do some karaoke with Marafiki au better yet go caroling hot hits door to door (if they complain say you're observing a religious holiday, it's even funnier to say after wewe finished imba Baby Got Back. Make sure to ask for any requests and try to beatbox even if you're terrible at it)

61. When the phone rings and its a sells call, say you're not buying but then try to sell them the competitors product.

62. Call a pizza place. Tell them you're new and town and your neighbors asked wewe to order pizza for a party but since you're new round here you're not really sure what this pizza thing is and ask them to explain it to you. When they say "Bread with meat and cheese on it." Ask them something like "What kind of bread? Like a sandwich? With meat? Well, what kind of meat? Couldn't I just put some turkey & cheese on a sandwich?" For best outcomes, call a place where it is against the rules for an employee to hang up on a customer who calls. (In my town there's a place called "Hungry Howie's where these rules apply. My brother's friend is expert at this kind of stuff and did this --He made the call last almost an hour!

62. Eat something that is bad for you, then bathe in pepto-bismal.

63. Tie yourself to the back of a car then jump off while its moving and have someone videotape wewe getting extremely bad road-rash at the speeds of 50 to 70mph...

64. Run around town and lick every shops window .

65. Bring a wireless microphone into town and sing beside someone playing a guitar, gitaa etc.

66. Sit on your roof and throw water baloons at pedestrians.

67. Follow bila mpangilio people around and pretend wewe know them kwa trying to make conversation.

68. Run around in your underwear with a wand and a harry potter outfit and yell spells at people.
69. Go to Wal-Mart and when the announcer comes on Say this Its those voices again!!! Scream that in an isle!!

70. Go into a bila mpangilio store with a lot of people and screamI WON THE LOTTERY!!!

71.When wewe are in class lightly bob your head to a light tune and then think of a really heavy metal tune and just whip out the air guitar, gitaa and everything! Thrash your head around too!!!

72. Get whipped cream in a bottle and spray randoms!!

73. Have a hugging contest!

74. Try on old people clothes clothes at the mall and pakia them onto your fanpop/myspace/facebook au another account!

75. Knock and run on peoples houses(teaches, mates, old people)

76. Put karanga siagi on the handle of bila mpangilio cars

77. follow a bila mpangilio car nyumbani to mess with them

78. fast chakula football (have someone run through and grab your bag of chakula as the people are handing it to you;; wewe get another bag of chakula free)

79. dress up as the oppostie sex and go into public.

80. hide behind things at the mall and throw eggs/water balloons at people walking kwa

81. Get a whole basket of food, wait till its all checked out, and say wewe forgot your wallet

82. drive through the mcdonalds drive-thru backwards

83. Get kicked out of wal-mart84. Rent golfcarts and race your Marafiki on them

85. Honk going through a neighborhood early in the morning au late at night and wake people up.

86. onyesha up at the wrong house, pretend its your Marafiki house (that you've never been to) and just go right in and pretend everythings normal.

87. Rearrange your entire house before your parents come nyumbani

88.get a bald cap, go to school and pretend like wewe shaved your head.

89. Walk in public with your pants off casually

90. Climb a mti and drop eggs on cars.

91. Mess with the scale at a doctor's office so everyone thinks they're really fat.


93. Video yourself doing a silly dance to a song then watch it after and laugh.

94. Text every contact saying your pregnant/getting married/diagnosed with autism/etc.

95. Black mail your teacher.

96.Pile up all your stuffed toys in the middle of a room then jump in them.

97. Open your window and yell out of it, "You'll never take me alive coppers!"

98. Type in 'Things to do when you're bored' on youtube.
99. On the computer, make a fake advertisement for a Gardener and put it out in the porch. Later, find out if your parents think it is real!

100. Put a sign up outside your house saying 'Brother/siter for sale'

101. Draw a banana.

102. Slap yourself until wewe get hurt.

103. Pretend to look around your room as if it has just turned into Narnia.

104. try to balance as many spoons on your face as wewe can.

105. Pretend wewe are running away from yourself.

106. Try to break a CD (one that wewe don't use anymore).

107. Make a mixture of all the liquids in your bathroom then put it in a bottle and name it (your name)'s secret bath lotion.

108. Post a video onto Youtube of wewe doing the most bila mpangilio things ever.

109. Walk around your room without walking on the floor.

110. Make a sale of the most bila mpangilio things ever outside your house.

111. orodha all the swear words wewe know and mail the note to a bila mpangilio adress.

112. Make up a video called,''What to do when you're bored
113.You grab a stuff animal(has to be small) and wewe run up and the side walk yelling pussy come back. wewe get some crazy looks and its really funny.

114. Go do something that would make the world a little bit better- Protest for chickens who like to kuvuka, msalaba the road's questioned authorities.

115. Sit on your roof with your friends, and if someone gives wewe a weird look from the street, yell "We are waiting to board the mothership!"
116. Play Sweet & sour, wamekula with some friends. Stand on a mitaani, mtaa corner and wave at every car that passes. If they wave back au smile, yell "Sweet." If they ignore wewe au give wewe a dirty look, yell "SOUR!" and chase them as long as wewe would like.

117. Go to Wal-Mart and just sit in the middle of an isle with your friends. See how long it takes for someone to make wewe move.

118. Go to a store like target and play phone tag (if wewe have a picture cell phone) --- like walk through the store and the game is to try to get pics of your Marafiki w/o them seeing wewe and w/o them taking pictures of you!

119. Go teepeeing go through a drive thru and order bila mpangilio **** and mess with the pe

120. Stay a couple nights in a hotle with about 20 people in the same room (got kicked out.

121. Go to a store and pretend your blind.

123. Dress up like Santa & go to walmart & wish people a merry Christmas! (no matter if it's krisimasi au not!)

124. Run really fast and slide on a carpet then count how many rug burns wewe get
125. Find a number wewe like (preferably 47) and become obsessed with it.
Don’t worry; I’ve listed some interesting examples of ‘obsessive behaviour’ to start wewe off:
Buy all the t-shirts and items of clothing wewe can with that number on it, or, if that fails, go to a t-shirt printers and get some made. If wewe prefer, there is always the option of buying an age badge of your number from any good card/gift shop. If they have sold out of your number, make your badge out of paper plates and cocktail sticks.
Every time wewe spot your number (whether on your own au in public) point to it and scream “Oooooooooohhhhhhhhhhhhhh!!!!!” as loud as wewe can.
When wewe go out nightclubbing, steal a girl friend’s eyeliner pencil and draw that number on your forehead. (Don’t use your own pencil, if wewe have one – such extensive use will shorten the life of wewe eye-liner for sure.) People may stare at wewe – don’t be alarmed if this happens. They are simply amazed kwa how cool wewe look.
Get the DJs of any pubs wewe visit (don’t bother with club DJs – they won’t take wewe seriously) to announce your preferred number over the PA system as often as wewe can. Don’t be disheartened if continuous harassment of the DJ gets wewe thrown out of your local – remember the power of your number, and have faith that the pub landlord will come round eventually.
Make an occasion of Halloween. Get a pumpkin, carve out the shape of your sacred number, and take it with wewe when wewe go out. Remember, wewe can’t throw away the carved out pumpkin, boga number! Best keep it in your freezer for all eternity so it’s always there to protect wewe from evil.
Sometimes a nonsensical word, for instance ‘Toyspens’, can be used in conjunction with your chosen number for added effect. However, be very careful when deciding on your word au wewe may end up accidentally summoning the Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse again.
If someone asks wewe “Why??” laugh hysterically and then ignore them for a few days. They’ll soon realise their mistake.

126. Get a group of Marafiki and climb into the window in a store and pretend to be manicans kwa standing as still as possible and posing. See how many people wewe can fool.

127. Hang out on someone's roof and talk.

128. CLIFF JUMPING! wewe ALWAYS WALK AWAY WITH A CUT au SOMETHING! ITS A GREAT TIME BRING A VIDEO CAMERA129. Throw on some Mexican wrestling masks and sit in the trees drinking scotch...and scare the hell out of early morning joggers.

130. well, wewe know those people who get their deer heads mounted? Anyway, take it & ride around in the car with it. Occasionally stick it's head out the window sometimes.

131. Go around during an election season collecting the signs for one candidate and making note of what house we took it from, then go and switch those signs with people who were promoting the other candidate.

132. Try slamming a revolving door.
All with [x] apply to me. All of these are ridiculous and I don't agree with any of them.


1) I'm EMO, so I MUST cut my wrists.

2) I'm BLACK, so I MUST carry a gun.

3) I'm HISPANIC, so I MUST be dirty.

4) I'm ASIAN, so I MUST be smart.

5) [x] I'm NOT LIKE EVERYONE ELSE, so I MUST be a loser. (no)

6) I'm JEWISH, so I MUST be greedy.

7) I'm GAY, so I MUST have AIDS. (this one is VERY offensive, and hurts. My favourite singer DIED from AIDS, and he was bi, and an amazing, beautiful man)

8) I'm a LESBIAN, so I MUST have a sex-tape.

9) I'm ARAB, so I MUST be a terrorist.

10) [x] I SPEAK MY MIND, so...
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posted by nevenkastar
 Made by: ICEhanica (this is how the main character looks like =D)
Made by: ICEhanica (this is how the main character looks like =D)
1st of all....this is my 1st story so I know It's bad and please please don't be rude to me. I'm just at the beginning of learning how to write good. So hope wewe like the story.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

I have a normal life, if we could call it that way.
Well, wewe see I'm a Vampire. Now, now, I'm not a killer. I don't kill people, I'm Vegeterian. I almost never drink blood, but I'm not weak. When I need to drink blood I drink animal blood. I upendo wanyama so It's very hard to look at they're cute face and kill them. =( I live in the UK, to be zaidi precisely in London. In a small,...
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BOY : May I hold your hand?
GIRL : No thanks, it isn't heavy.
GIRL : Say wewe upendo me! Say wewe upendo me!
BOY : wewe upendo me...
GIRL : If we become engaged will wewe give me a ring??
BOY : Sure, what's your phone number??
GIRL : I think the poorest people are the happiest.
BOY : Then marry me and we'll be the happiest couple
GIRL : Darling, I want to dance like this forever.
BOY : Don't wewe ever want to improve??
BOY : I upendo wewe and I could die for you!
GIRL : How soon??
BOY : I would go to the end of the world for you!
GIRL : Yes, but would wewe stay there??
SHARON : Have wewe ever had a hot passionate,...
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posted by mae_cait_001
1.Always be fresh and beautiful 2.Apply make-up but not too much(coz u will look like a white lady!scary!) 3.Have a pleasing smile when he looks at u 4.Dont loose confidence when u see him.dont get nervous,say a simple"hi"who knows,maybe he'll reply u with a hello that u'd longed to hear 5.Show him ur good side! 6.Show him ur secret talents. 7.Wear dresses appropriate to his taste 8.Dont be so noisy when ur with him(guys dont like noisy girls 9.Always do things that u know he will like 10 IDK^-^just do anything,i dont know what 2 write with no.ten.
posted by karpach_13
New ways to order pizza
Are wewe tired of always ordering pizza the same way? Well, this lists will keep wewe entertained for over 90 pizza orders!!!

1. Order two toppings, then say, "No, they'll start fighting."

2. Learn to properly pronounce the ingredients of a Twinkie. Ask that these be included in the pizza.

3. Use CB lingo where applicable.

4. Order a Big Mac Extra Value Meal.

5. Terminate the call with, "Remember, we never had this conversation."

6. Tell the order taker a rival pizza place is on the other line and you're going with the lowest bidder.

7. Give them your address, exclaim "Oh,...
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added by Tamar20
Source: Google
added by Mollymolata
Source: I dunno, The Addams family 2
added by Mollymolata
Source: Walt Disney maybe
posted by Seanthehedgehog

Tom: Now this section of the video focuses on parts of our onyesha where the Mane 6 made special guest appearances, au played as characters in skits. For instance, upinde wa mvua Dash played as Marisa Sayers in The punda punda Inn skit.

We're starting off with that female alicorn with the voice of Ice Cube, Twilight Sparkle

Audience: *Cheering*

---

Twilight: Whad up niggas?
Audience: *Clapping*
Twilight: Let's start off our first siku of school with some arithmetic. What is one plus one?

Link to how Pinkie Pie is talking: link

Pinkie Pie: Nein nein nein nein nein nein nein!!
Audience: *Laughing*
Pinkie...
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added by Ranty-cat
Source: Fb
posted by Seanthehedgehog


Song: link
 Blue lines fly along the screen, then the words appear
Blue lines fly along the screen, then the words appear

 Robotnik: Snooping as usual I see! *Talks faster* Snooping as usual *Slows down* I see!
Robotnik: Snooping as usual I see! *Talks faster* Snooping as usual *Slows down* I see!


St. Foalis Maressouri, 6 PM.

A crowd of thousands of ponies gathered at the Gateway Arch to experience a comedy onyesha that was being filmed live in 4k. The comedian? Tom Foolery.

Crowd: *Clapping, and chanting* Tom! Tom! Tom! Tom! Tom! Tom! Tom!
Tom: *Arrives at a temporary stage under the Gateway Arch*
Crowd: *Cheering, as they continue to clap*
Tom: Thank wewe everypony.
Crowd: *Continuing to cheer and clap*
Tom: Thank wewe very much....
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 Razilee and Elijah Part 2 - Sad Film
Razilee and Elijah Part 2 - Sad Film
Razilee and Elijah: Part 2

This film was undoubtedly one of the saddest and most darkest projects Elijah has yet worked on. And it's littered with true meaning. While, he hasn't really gone into depth about expressing this film like he did with the first one. We can tell it meant a lot.

First and foremost... Razilee and Elijah: Part 2 is nothing like it's predecessor. This film, unlike the first was sad and reminiscences on Jones's Forgive to Forget era. While, not related to that album. This film talks about Razilee and Elijah's friendship, and the trauma they both went through after a harsh...
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posted by Windwakerguy430
I’ve never heard of this game up until now. I was watching a video on obscure titles kwa Atlus that weren’t SMT au Persona and one game that caught my attention was this strange little game called Baroque. Released originally for the Sega Saturn in Japan only, it got a remake for the PS2 and Wii, and when Atlus got word of it, they decided to publish the game, since the game was developed kwa Sting, and got it released in North America. And honestly, looking at this game, with a post-apocalyptic setting and all this talk of gods and angels and stuff… Yeah, I can see why Atlus wanted to...
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posted by Windwakerguy430
Native culture… yes. Indie games always seem to really crack into that creative nature that it is known for, and thanks to no limitations, they can find inspiration in a vast number of things. And for today's game, they got their inspiration from the culture of the native Tarahumara, who were known for long distance running. It’s definitely an interesting concept and one that actually fascinates me. What are the Tarahumara and what is their culture like? Well, let
S play the indie title Mulaka and find out.



Mulaka has wewe playing as a Tarahumara who is on a journey alone throughout...
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added by Blaze1213IsBack
posted by Windwakerguy430
I think one of my inayopendelewa things about indie games (Aside from the sheer passion of creators that want to do their own thing) is the visuals they go for. From Hollow Knight’s charming dot eyed art to the amazing hand drawn movements of Skullgirls to the old 30s cartoon aesthetic of Cuphead, all of these games have an art style that drew me to them and made me want to play these games. But hey, a simple cel shading can also appeal to me. And that brings us to Lethal League Blaze



Starting out as a flash game called Lethal League (Which wewe can apparently play on the PS4 store now), Lethal...
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added by MeiMisty
added by TheLefteris24
OMG, after all these years, I never knew that Pikachu is Spider-Man!!!!! XD
video
bila mpangilio
funny
smash
added by BendyInk