bila mpangilio Club
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posted by JoannaVonDoom
Im sorry if this has been ilitumwa before
If not, do not give me credit


1. Sing the Batman theme incessantly.

2. In the memo field of all your checks, write "for sensual massage."

3. Specify that your drive-through order is "to go."

4. Learn Morse code, and have conversations with Marafiki in public consisting entirely of "Beeeep Bip Bip Beeep Bip..."

5. If wewe have a glass eye, tap on it occasionally with your pen while talking to others.

6. Amuse yourself for endless hours kwa hooking a camcorder, kamkoda to your TV and then pointing it at the screen.

7. Speak only in a "robot" voice.

8. Push all the flat Lego pieces together tightly.

9. Start each meal kwa conspicuously licking all your food, and announce that this is so no one will "swipe your grub".

10. Leave the copy machine set to reduce 200%, extra dark, 17 inch paper, 98 copies.

11. Stomp on little plastic ketchup packets.

12. Sniffle incessantly.

13. Leave your turn signal on for fifty miles.

14. Name your dog "Dog."

15. Insist on keeping your car windshield wipers running in all weather conditions "to keep them tuned up."

16. Reply to everything someone says with "that's what wewe think."

17. Claim that wewe must always wear a bicycle kofia, chapeo as part of your "astronaut training."

18. Declare your apartment an independent nation, and sue your neighbors upstairs for "violating your airspace".

19. Forget the punchline to a long joke, but assure the listener it was a "real hoot."

20. Follow a few paces behind someone, spraying everything they touch with Lysol.

21. Practice making fax and modem noises.

22. Highlight irrelevant information in scientific papers and "cc:" them to your boss.

23. Make beeping noises when a large person backs up.

24. Invent nonsense computer jargon in conversations, and see if people play along to avoid the appearance of ignorance.

25. Erect an elaborate network of ropes in your backyard, and tell the neighbors wewe are a "spider person."

26. Finish all your sentences with the words "in accordance with the prophesy."

27. Wear a special hip holster for your
remote control.

28. Do not add any inflection to the end of your sentences, producing awkward silences with the impression that you'll be saying zaidi any moment.

29. Signal that a conversation is over kwa clamping your hands over your ears.

30. Disassemble your pen and "accidentally" flip the ink cartridge, katriji ya across the room.

31. Give a play-by-play account of a persons every action in a nasal Howard Cosell voice.

32. Holler bila mpangilio numbers while someone is counting.

33. Adjust the tint on your TV so that all the people are green, and insist to others that wewe "like it that way."

34. Drum on every available surface.

35. Staple papers in the middle of the page.

36. Ask 1-800 operators for dates.

37. Produce a rental video consisting entirely of dire FBI copyright warnings.

38. Sew anti-theft detector strips
into peoples backpacks.

39. Hide dairy products in inaccessible places.

40. Write the surprise ending to a novel on its first page.

41. Set alarms for bila mpangilio times.

42. Order a side of pork scratchings with your filet mignon.

43. Instead of Gallo, serve Night Train inayofuata Thanksgiving.

44. Publicly investigate just how slowly wewe can make a "croaking" noise.

45. Honk and wave to strangers.

46. Dress only in clothes colored Hunters Orange.

47. Change channels five dakika before the end of every show.

48. Tape pieces of "Sweating to the Oldies" over climactic parts of rental movies.

49. Wear your pants backwards.

50. Decline to be seated at a restaurant, and simply eat their complimentary mints kwa the cash register.

51. Begin all your sentences with "ooh la la!"

52. ONLY TYPE IN UPPERCASE.

53. only type in lowercase.

54. dont use any punctuation either

55. Buy a large quantity of machungwa, chungwa traffic cones and reroute whole streets.

56. Pay for your chajio, chakula cha jioni with pennies.

57. Tie jingle bells to all your clothes.

58. Repeat everything someone says, as a question.

59. Write "X - BURIED TREASURE" in bila mpangilio spots on all of someone's roadmaps.

60. Inform everyone wewe meet of your personal Kennedy assassination/UFO/ O.J Simpson conspiracy theories.

61. Repeat the following conversation a dozen times: "Do wewe hear that?" "What?" "Never mind, its gone now."

62. Light road flares on a birthday cake.

63. Wander around a restaurant, asking other diners for their parsley.

64. Leave tips in Bolivian currency.

65. Demand that everyone address wewe as "Conquistador."

66. At the laundromat, use one dryer for each of your socks.

67. When krisimasi caroling, sing "Jingle Bells, Batman smells" until physically restrained.

68. Wear a cape that says "Magnificent One."

69. As much as possible, skip rather than walk.

70. Stand over someone's shoulder, mumbling, as they read.

71. Pretend your computer's panya, kipanya is a CB radio, and talk to it.

72. Try playing the William Tell Overture kwa tapping on the bottom of your chin. When nearly done, announce "no, wait, I messed it up," and repeat.

73. Drive half a block.

74. Inform others that they exist only in your imagination.

75. Ask people what gender they are.

76. Lick the filling out of all the Oreos, and place the cookie parts back.

77. Cultivate a Norwegian accent. If Norwegian, affect a Southern drawl.

78. Routinely handcuff yourself to furniture, informing the curious that wewe don't want to fall off "in case the big one comes".

79. Deliberately hum songs that will remain lodged in co-workers brains, such as "Feliz Navidad", the Archies "Sugar" au the Mr. Rogers theme song.

80. While making presentations, occasionally bob your head. Like a parakeet.

81. Lie obviously about trivial things such as the time of day.

82. Leave your krisimasi lights up and lit until September.

83. Change your name to "AaJohn Aaaaasmith" for the great glory of being first in the phone book. Claim it's a Hawaiian name, and demand that people pronounce each "a."

84. Sit in your front yard pointing a hair dryer at passing cars to see if they slow down.

85. Chew on pens that you've borrowed.

86. Wear a LOT of cologne.

87. Listen to 33rpm records at 45rpm speed, and claim the faster speed is necessary because of your "superior mental processing."

88. Sing along at the opera.

89. Mow your lawn with scissors.

90. At a golf tournament, chant "swing-batabatabata-suhWING-batter!"

91. Ask the waitress for an extra kiti, kiti cha for your "imaginary friend."

92. Go to a poetry recital and ask why each poem doesn't rhyme.

93. Ask your co-workers mysterious questions, and then scribble their majibu in a notebook. Mutter something
about "psychological profiles."

94. Stare at static on the TV and claim wewe can see a "magic picture."

95. Select the same song on the jukebox fifty times.

96. Never make eye contact.

97. Never break eye contact.

98. Construct elaborate "crop circles" in your front lawn.

99. Construct your own pretend "tricorder," and "scan" people with it, announcing the results.

100. Make appointments for the 31st of February.

101. Invite lots of people to other people's parties.
posted by teamsalvatore98
But haven't we all? I've alisema some things, but who hasn't? I've thought about things, but doesn't everybody? this makala is not about trying to get wewe to ask Christ for forgiveness. it's about telling everybody that they are not alone. my whole life I thought that I'm the only 1 who goes through stuff that I go through. but it's not true. my dad has seizure problems, my mom barely has time to do anything with us, and my family has financial issues, but that is okay. I've been bullied, and there's been times when I committed self harm. The thing is, wewe may think that wewe are alone, but there's...
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Hi, my name is james. im am 13 yrs old. i was beat from school. i had gotten 8 hrs detention for uigizaji like rigby during math class. some teachers huh? anyway, it was 10:00 PM when i got home. i went up the stairs to my bedroom, shut the door, got into my pj's and got in bed. as i laid in my bed, i closed my eyes and thought, dang, the regular onyesha universe seems pretty awsome. no school, no detention, it's perfect. then i fell into a deep sleep. this is where the story begins. i woke up on a hard surface, i got up and was in a white room. where the heck am i, i thought. as i turned around...
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So, I was uandishi this book, and I didn't know if it would ba any good au not, and I want your opinion on it before I continue uandishi it, maybe publish it, and then make an punda out of myself if it sucks..... So please be a critic on thi exerpt on the first chapter, and any suggestions, any opinions, will be aknowledged. :) Thank you!






Chapter 1

Henna


Well, let’s just say that my life is not normal. In fact, it’s probably at the most least normal level as it could possibly get. I had never even heard of this myth until it had happened to me. Neither have you, because there are no records of...
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1. Have a nap. If wewe want to solve a problem, au come up with new ideas, then instead of always thinking - relax and have a nap. We’re usually zaidi creative when we’re feeling wide awake.

2. Get into the habit of making small talk. A casual remark can change the way wewe look at things - so talk and listen to everyone wewe meet.
3. Sign up for classes and seminars. Listening to the ideas and opinions of others increases the connections wewe make in your brain. Also, it is usually inspiring and highly motivating.

4. Make sure wewe spend time with creative people. Often these are people who think...
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Honestly like i will NEVER EVER understand people who think kindles and other ebooks are like the spawn of satan

sure paper smells nice but the point of vitabu is the content which is the same however wewe read them calm the fuck down jesus christ. so my mom is going to be here tomorrow but the only way she is willing to see me is if she brings her boyfriend along.

now i’ve never met him, and maybe i should be this upset about it, but i haven’t seen my mom in about a mwaka (it might be longer) and she isn’t willing to put me ahead of her fucking boyfriend for like 2 hours. at least that’s...
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Omg there’s pastaaaaaaa for chajio, chakula cha jioni and i’m going to be nyumbani alone again. i feel kind of happy whenever i’m nyumbani alone. i think its because i eventually got used to the quietness around the house when my sister was almost always never nyumbani because of school. it feels kind of nice actually. Cait just told me she might quit. DAFUQ. SO MAD. Coach Ron isn’t that good, but WHY CAN’T SHE JUST TAKE CHARGE LIKE A CAPTAIN SHOULD. She always gets hella pissed fast and it’s scary. I mean, I try not to offend, but she gets mad anyways. If Innah and Cait are gone, we’re gonna lose all our matches....
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Patrick(Tricky) Vaughn Stump: A quiet but friendly face and a voice to DIE for. My husband and frontman of Fall Out Boy, my hopes and dreams, my life and heart. He is very talented and he is about the most sweetest thing I've ever met. He was my best friend ever since 3rd grade then we became a couple in high school, I moved away and never saw him again...but I'll save that tale for another time as for I reunited with Patrick after a tragic event between one of my exes. I upendo him with my all my moyo and he's really special to me...and now we're marrried <3

Danielle(Dani...don't ever...EVER...
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1. My life is likely to last ten to fifteen years. Any separation from wewe will be painful: remember that before wewe get me.

2. Give me time to understand what wewe want of me.

3. Place your trust in me—it is crucial to my well being.

4. Do not be angry at me for long, and do not lock me up as punishment.

5. wewe have your work, your entertainment, and your friends. I only have you.

6. Talk to me sometimes. Even if I don’t understand your words, I understand your voice.

7. Be aware that however wewe treat me, I will never forget.

8. Remember before wewe hit me that I have sharp teeth that could easily...
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posted by E-Scope90
Between 10-12% of people on earth are “lefties.” Women are zaidi likely to be right-handed than men kwa about 4 percentage points.i
August 13th is “Left-Hander’s Day.” Launched in 1992, this yearly event celebrates left-handedness and raises awareness of the difficulties and frustrations left-handers experience every siku in a world designed for right-handers.c
At various times in history, left-handedness has been seen as many things: a nasty habit, a mark of the devil, a sign of neurosis, rebellion, criminality, and homosexuality. It has also been seen as a trait indicating creativity...
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I’m just putting it out there that the bila mpangilio shabiki club is for posting anything and everything hence the name the bila mpangilio shabiki club and those who don’t understand that should be removed from this club as the word bila mpangilio means being weird au not normal just means to be different to be unique to be a thing for all things i always thought that the bila mpangilio shabiki club could be a MLP maoni the below it a HP maoni if no one understands this then the meaning of the bila mpangilio shabiki club lives no longer so i beg for wewe to see reason this club is for everyone to post everything and anything they want see reason it is a fact being bila mpangilio is a good thing but blocking out peoples randomness is not cool bros
posted by hetaliaitaly
The moment wewe took your life
I felt mine ended too.
If I could only turn back time
there’s so much I would undo.

I didn’t see the warning signs.
wewe held them deep inside.
Struggles wewe were going through
wewe did so well to hide.

I’m left with guilt and sorrow,
and confusion as to why
wewe didn’t tell me of your pain
and felt wewe had to die.

The Sadness of the sight was just to much to bare
And now its me lying here
Cold,Crimson and Dead

wewe will never know how I feel inside,
The pain that still resides,
Happiness was once in my life,
Those days have long since ceased.
posted by DramaQueen1020
orodha of things I love, and orodha of things I hate.
If anyone agrees wewe can post below. These are all random. ish.

Love
1) Pictures with funny captions.
2) Ice cream.
3) Moustaches.
4) Poison dart frogs :P
5) Cats
6) Cute cats
7) Cute Cats in silly poses.
8) Daffodils
9) Laughing.
10) Kitkats. The candy, yum!
11) Harry Potter
12) Sirius Black
13) Sirius the star.
14) Plaid
15) Queen!!! :)
16) Lemonade
17) Funny rants for no reason
18) Rants that have a reason
19) Unicorns
20) My boyfriend. (jk, don't have one at the moment)
21) Jewelry
22) Peace symbols
22) Theatre games
23) Stupid theatre games
24) Freaky things
25) Ellen...
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posted by kitty190123
ithjoierjgiojflgjowirhjgoia rhfgourhguo heriug hurwh guoerh aguoehrgouheroug hruo hgoeruhguoreh gu ehgu hruo ghoruhgoruehgourh ourhtgou ehguhu huhturhtuoerh uohriu htruhgu itirehtgurhg uurhgurth urhug hugih gthugfjhgnurjhtgeurj uthguerhtuierthgurthgurhtu hfurhtueihtgiehti vhfuhoiwhtohewot ghfurhuhruhtuhuiehfurhutg irfurhuitehieuhtui vuyhtrurhtuie hrtoughieuhgiehg thouerhtuiehgt fuihgdiuehrifuhwr rjuhgjekhrgt3hgfjeruhgou hguerohg iuhrguoerh gk h tyiu 5h uihgiuehgdfuhgj hguihguirhegjkih seuiohgurei hgiuesh giue rhguier ghuerghneruijgheuirhgt ueri thiure htuihr ui hriu htuirh tius htuihsiu thierothieurthgioet hg



This is really stupid but I was feeling bored...
HOW TO INSTALL SOFTWARE

1. Examine the software packaging until wewe find a little printed box that explains what kind of computer system wewe need to run the software. It should look something like this:

SYSTEM REQUIREMENTS
2386 PROCESSOR au HIGHER
628.8 MEGAHERTZ MODEM
719.7 MB FREE DISK SPACE
3546 MB RAM
432323 MB ROM
05948737 MB RPM ANTILOCK BRAKING SYSTEM

NOTE: This software will not work on your computer.

2. Open the software packaging and remove the manual. This will contain detailed instructions on installing, operating, and troubleshooting the software. Throw it away.

3. Find the actual software,...
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Wanyonya damu From Around the World


By Stephanie Moore

A vampire is a blood-sucking, undead thing of the night that comes after people in their nightmares. Many cultures have vampire myths. In the past, folklore was a means of explaining what people didn’t understand. Widespread vampire mythology reflects the uncertainty about death that we all face.

People in the past had little understanding of the decomposition process.If an exhumed body looked “plump”, how did they know it was the natural result of gases in the body? To them, blood leaking from a corpse’s mouth meant that the dear departed...
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From butterflies to praying everyone was okay.I ran to the back room where Ben was.John ran after me.
I saw Ben pointing a gun at a aunt of John's.I grabbed my shoe and threw it at the gun.It slid out of his hand.John's aunt ran away.Ben starred at me.Then,slowly got out another gun.He kept looking at me with a confused look.I looked at John,then,quivering,I knew I had to do something.
"Blondie,Leave.NOW."Ben demanded.John fled,I hope he was bringing help!"Well,well,well.Nanette.I told I'd get you.You thought I'd lie?"He asked."N-n-n..."I stuttered and just shoke my head.This,wasn't the end!I...
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The most bila mpangilio thing ever made - me and my friend talking on Facebook chat. Brace yourself for an undescribable dose of epicness.

H - Hattress
E - Her Friend Emily

H: Why do wewe call me and not say anything?
Second time in a row?

E: When did I call you?
Probably my sister was playing.

H: That explains a lot.
Many people call me kwa accident because I'm first on their contacts list. (my name starts with a)

E: Was she imba "Hallelujah"?

H: Nope.
There were only some creaks
and kind of a distant scream
I thought that maybe you're being murdered.

E: Because we've got a torture chamber in our basement, but...
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posted by sakurahanazono
1.)When your teacher asks any maswali say "Why does my Cats breath smell like cat food?"

2.) When the teacher is kusoma out facts say "Lies! Lies!" au "Fibs brake baby Jesus' ribs!"

3.) Pretend to cough every time your teacher starts to talk.

4.) Throw your pencil case at the teacher and shout "Go pikachu!"

5.) When your teacher asks why wewe didn't do your homework say " wewe can't tell me off for something I didn't do!"

6.) Jump on juu of the meza, jedwali and shout "Spidey powers activate" while imitating spiderman.

7.) When the teacher asks wewe to answer a swali say "The brain wewe are trying to reach...
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They ran to the mti house.Maybelle was confused,this place was so much bigger.Did it ever end?What?Her land was small."Here!Go in here!I'll go get food!"Sarah said,and ran."Maybelle.How old are you?"Alicia asked."16"She said."DANG IT!GOTTA WAIT 6 YEARS."Henry yelled."Now I ask wewe a question.Does your land...end?"Maybelle asked."Course it does!Yours doesn't?"Alicia asked."Nope!We live forever!Along as Ariana doesn't kill us."Maybelle said."Here!"Sarah said.Running with a bag of Chips,three cans of pop,And a cereal box."This should last wewe the night."Sarah said."You got the Stone?"Sarah asked....
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Sarah couldn't sleep,when she did,she had nightmares!.In her nightmare she was with Maybelle.Running.Thinking that lady would catch us.Then,She popped out of the ground."HA!"She yelled.Sarah ran to the door."MAYBELLE!"Sarah screeched.The lady grew taller,Larger.She soon became a giant.She had Maybelle in her hand."What do wewe want from me,Ariana?"Maybelle asked."What is wrong with you!"I grabbed two sticks and stabbed Ariana."OW!STOP!"Ariana picked me up in her other hand."Ah!"Sarah woke up.She brushed her bangs back.
---------------------------------------------------
The three Marafiki came...
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