Im sorry if this has been ilitumwa before
If not, do not give me credit
1. Sing the Batman theme incessantly.
2. In the memo field of all your checks, write "for sensual massage."
3. Specify that your drive-through order is "to go."
4. Learn Morse code, and have conversations with Marafiki in public consisting entirely of "Beeeep Bip Bip Beeep Bip..."
5. If wewe have a glass eye, tap on it occasionally with your pen while talking to others.
6. Amuse yourself for endless hours kwa hooking a camcorder, kamkoda to your TV and then pointing it at the screen.
7. Speak only in a "robot" voice.
8. Push all the flat Lego pieces together tightly.
9. Start each meal kwa conspicuously licking all your food, and announce that this is so no one will "swipe your grub".
10. Leave the copy machine set to reduce 200%, extra dark, 17 inch paper, 98 copies.
11. Stomp on little plastic ketchup packets.
12. Sniffle incessantly.
13. Leave your turn signal on for fifty miles.
14. Name your dog "Dog."
15. Insist on keeping your car windshield wipers running in all weather conditions "to keep them tuned up."
16. Reply to everything someone says with "that's what wewe think."
17. Claim that wewe must always wear a bicycle kofia, chapeo as part of your "astronaut training."
18. Declare your apartment an independent nation, and sue your neighbors upstairs for "violating your airspace".
19. Forget the punchline to a long joke, but assure the listener it was a "real hoot."
20. Follow a few paces behind someone, spraying everything they touch with Lysol.
21. Practice making fax and modem noises.
22. Highlight irrelevant information in scientific papers and "cc:" them to your boss.
23. Make beeping noises when a large person backs up.
24. Invent nonsense computer jargon in conversations, and see if people play along to avoid the appearance of ignorance.
25. Erect an elaborate network of ropes in your backyard, and tell the neighbors wewe are a "spider person."
26. Finish all your sentences with the words "in accordance with the prophesy."
27. Wear a special hip holster for your
remote control.
28. Do not add any inflection to the end of your sentences, producing awkward silences with the impression that you'll be saying zaidi any moment.
29. Signal that a conversation is over kwa clamping your hands over your ears.
30. Disassemble your pen and "accidentally" flip the ink cartridge, katriji ya across the room.
31. Give a play-by-play account of a persons every action in a nasal Howard Cosell voice.
32. Holler bila mpangilio numbers while someone is counting.
33. Adjust the tint on your TV so that all the people are green, and insist to others that wewe "like it that way."
34. Drum on every available surface.
35. Staple papers in the middle of the page.
36. Ask 1-800 operators for dates.
37. Produce a rental video consisting entirely of dire FBI copyright warnings.
38. Sew anti-theft detector strips
into peoples backpacks.
39. Hide dairy products in inaccessible places.
40. Write the surprise ending to a novel on its first page.
41. Set alarms for bila mpangilio times.
42. Order a side of pork scratchings with your filet mignon.
43. Instead of Gallo, serve Night Train inayofuata Thanksgiving.
44. Publicly investigate just how slowly wewe can make a "croaking" noise.
45. Honk and wave to strangers.
46. Dress only in clothes colored Hunters Orange.
47. Change channels five dakika before the end of every show.
48. Tape pieces of "Sweating to the Oldies" over climactic parts of rental movies.
49. Wear your pants backwards.
50. Decline to be seated at a restaurant, and simply eat their complimentary mints kwa the cash register.
51. Begin all your sentences with "ooh la la!"
52. ONLY TYPE IN UPPERCASE.
53. only type in lowercase.
54. dont use any punctuation either
55. Buy a large quantity of machungwa, chungwa traffic cones and reroute whole streets.
56. Pay for your chajio, chakula cha jioni with pennies.
57. Tie jingle bells to all your clothes.
58. Repeat everything someone says, as a question.
59. Write "X - BURIED TREASURE" in bila mpangilio spots on all of someone's roadmaps.
60. Inform everyone wewe meet of your personal Kennedy assassination/UFO/ O.J Simpson conspiracy theories.
61. Repeat the following conversation a dozen times: "Do wewe hear that?" "What?" "Never mind, its gone now."
62. Light road flares on a birthday cake.
63. Wander around a restaurant, asking other diners for their parsley.
64. Leave tips in Bolivian currency.
65. Demand that everyone address wewe as "Conquistador."
66. At the laundromat, use one dryer for each of your socks.
67. When krisimasi caroling, sing "Jingle Bells, Batman smells" until physically restrained.
68. Wear a cape that says "Magnificent One."
69. As much as possible, skip rather than walk.
70. Stand over someone's shoulder, mumbling, as they read.
71. Pretend your computer's panya, kipanya is a CB radio, and talk to it.
72. Try playing the William Tell Overture kwa tapping on the bottom of your chin. When nearly done, announce "no, wait, I messed it up," and repeat.
73. Drive half a block.
74. Inform others that they exist only in your imagination.
75. Ask people what gender they are.
76. Lick the filling out of all the Oreos, and place the cookie parts back.
77. Cultivate a Norwegian accent. If Norwegian, affect a Southern drawl.
78. Routinely handcuff yourself to furniture, informing the curious that wewe don't want to fall off "in case the big one comes".
79. Deliberately hum songs that will remain lodged in co-workers brains, such as "Feliz Navidad", the Archies "Sugar" au the Mr. Rogers theme song.
80. While making presentations, occasionally bob your head. Like a parakeet.
81. Lie obviously about trivial things such as the time of day.
82. Leave your krisimasi lights up and lit until September.
83. Change your name to "AaJohn Aaaaasmith" for the great glory of being first in the phone book. Claim it's a Hawaiian name, and demand that people pronounce each "a."
84. Sit in your front yard pointing a hair dryer at passing cars to see if they slow down.
85. Chew on pens that you've borrowed.
86. Wear a LOT of cologne.
87. Listen to 33rpm records at 45rpm speed, and claim the faster speed is necessary because of your "superior mental processing."
88. Sing along at the opera.
89. Mow your lawn with scissors.
90. At a golf tournament, chant "swing-batabatabata-suhWING-batter!"
91. Ask the waitress for an extra kiti, kiti cha for your "imaginary friend."
92. Go to a poetry recital and ask why each poem doesn't rhyme.
93. Ask your co-workers mysterious questions, and then scribble their majibu in a notebook. Mutter something
about "psychological profiles."
94. Stare at static on the TV and claim wewe can see a "magic picture."
95. Select the same song on the jukebox fifty times.
96. Never make eye contact.
97. Never break eye contact.
98. Construct elaborate "crop circles" in your front lawn.
99. Construct your own pretend "tricorder," and "scan" people with it, announcing the results.
100. Make appointments for the 31st of February.
101. Invite lots of people to other people's parties.
If not, do not give me credit
1. Sing the Batman theme incessantly.
2. In the memo field of all your checks, write "for sensual massage."
3. Specify that your drive-through order is "to go."
4. Learn Morse code, and have conversations with Marafiki in public consisting entirely of "Beeeep Bip Bip Beeep Bip..."
5. If wewe have a glass eye, tap on it occasionally with your pen while talking to others.
6. Amuse yourself for endless hours kwa hooking a camcorder, kamkoda to your TV and then pointing it at the screen.
7. Speak only in a "robot" voice.
8. Push all the flat Lego pieces together tightly.
9. Start each meal kwa conspicuously licking all your food, and announce that this is so no one will "swipe your grub".
10. Leave the copy machine set to reduce 200%, extra dark, 17 inch paper, 98 copies.
11. Stomp on little plastic ketchup packets.
12. Sniffle incessantly.
13. Leave your turn signal on for fifty miles.
14. Name your dog "Dog."
15. Insist on keeping your car windshield wipers running in all weather conditions "to keep them tuned up."
16. Reply to everything someone says with "that's what wewe think."
17. Claim that wewe must always wear a bicycle kofia, chapeo as part of your "astronaut training."
18. Declare your apartment an independent nation, and sue your neighbors upstairs for "violating your airspace".
19. Forget the punchline to a long joke, but assure the listener it was a "real hoot."
20. Follow a few paces behind someone, spraying everything they touch with Lysol.
21. Practice making fax and modem noises.
22. Highlight irrelevant information in scientific papers and "cc:" them to your boss.
23. Make beeping noises when a large person backs up.
24. Invent nonsense computer jargon in conversations, and see if people play along to avoid the appearance of ignorance.
25. Erect an elaborate network of ropes in your backyard, and tell the neighbors wewe are a "spider person."
26. Finish all your sentences with the words "in accordance with the prophesy."
27. Wear a special hip holster for your
remote control.
28. Do not add any inflection to the end of your sentences, producing awkward silences with the impression that you'll be saying zaidi any moment.
29. Signal that a conversation is over kwa clamping your hands over your ears.
30. Disassemble your pen and "accidentally" flip the ink cartridge, katriji ya across the room.
31. Give a play-by-play account of a persons every action in a nasal Howard Cosell voice.
32. Holler bila mpangilio numbers while someone is counting.
33. Adjust the tint on your TV so that all the people are green, and insist to others that wewe "like it that way."
34. Drum on every available surface.
35. Staple papers in the middle of the page.
36. Ask 1-800 operators for dates.
37. Produce a rental video consisting entirely of dire FBI copyright warnings.
38. Sew anti-theft detector strips
into peoples backpacks.
39. Hide dairy products in inaccessible places.
40. Write the surprise ending to a novel on its first page.
41. Set alarms for bila mpangilio times.
42. Order a side of pork scratchings with your filet mignon.
43. Instead of Gallo, serve Night Train inayofuata Thanksgiving.
44. Publicly investigate just how slowly wewe can make a "croaking" noise.
45. Honk and wave to strangers.
46. Dress only in clothes colored Hunters Orange.
47. Change channels five dakika before the end of every show.
48. Tape pieces of "Sweating to the Oldies" over climactic parts of rental movies.
49. Wear your pants backwards.
50. Decline to be seated at a restaurant, and simply eat their complimentary mints kwa the cash register.
51. Begin all your sentences with "ooh la la!"
52. ONLY TYPE IN UPPERCASE.
53. only type in lowercase.
54. dont use any punctuation either
55. Buy a large quantity of machungwa, chungwa traffic cones and reroute whole streets.
56. Pay for your chajio, chakula cha jioni with pennies.
57. Tie jingle bells to all your clothes.
58. Repeat everything someone says, as a question.
59. Write "X - BURIED TREASURE" in bila mpangilio spots on all of someone's roadmaps.
60. Inform everyone wewe meet of your personal Kennedy assassination/UFO/ O.J Simpson conspiracy theories.
61. Repeat the following conversation a dozen times: "Do wewe hear that?" "What?" "Never mind, its gone now."
62. Light road flares on a birthday cake.
63. Wander around a restaurant, asking other diners for their parsley.
64. Leave tips in Bolivian currency.
65. Demand that everyone address wewe as "Conquistador."
66. At the laundromat, use one dryer for each of your socks.
67. When krisimasi caroling, sing "Jingle Bells, Batman smells" until physically restrained.
68. Wear a cape that says "Magnificent One."
69. As much as possible, skip rather than walk.
70. Stand over someone's shoulder, mumbling, as they read.
71. Pretend your computer's panya, kipanya is a CB radio, and talk to it.
72. Try playing the William Tell Overture kwa tapping on the bottom of your chin. When nearly done, announce "no, wait, I messed it up," and repeat.
73. Drive half a block.
74. Inform others that they exist only in your imagination.
75. Ask people what gender they are.
76. Lick the filling out of all the Oreos, and place the cookie parts back.
77. Cultivate a Norwegian accent. If Norwegian, affect a Southern drawl.
78. Routinely handcuff yourself to furniture, informing the curious that wewe don't want to fall off "in case the big one comes".
79. Deliberately hum songs that will remain lodged in co-workers brains, such as "Feliz Navidad", the Archies "Sugar" au the Mr. Rogers theme song.
80. While making presentations, occasionally bob your head. Like a parakeet.
81. Lie obviously about trivial things such as the time of day.
82. Leave your krisimasi lights up and lit until September.
83. Change your name to "AaJohn Aaaaasmith" for the great glory of being first in the phone book. Claim it's a Hawaiian name, and demand that people pronounce each "a."
84. Sit in your front yard pointing a hair dryer at passing cars to see if they slow down.
85. Chew on pens that you've borrowed.
86. Wear a LOT of cologne.
87. Listen to 33rpm records at 45rpm speed, and claim the faster speed is necessary because of your "superior mental processing."
88. Sing along at the opera.
89. Mow your lawn with scissors.
90. At a golf tournament, chant "swing-batabatabata-suhWING-batter!"
91. Ask the waitress for an extra kiti, kiti cha for your "imaginary friend."
92. Go to a poetry recital and ask why each poem doesn't rhyme.
93. Ask your co-workers mysterious questions, and then scribble their majibu in a notebook. Mutter something
about "psychological profiles."
94. Stare at static on the TV and claim wewe can see a "magic picture."
95. Select the same song on the jukebox fifty times.
96. Never make eye contact.
97. Never break eye contact.
98. Construct elaborate "crop circles" in your front lawn.
99. Construct your own pretend "tricorder," and "scan" people with it, announcing the results.
100. Make appointments for the 31st of February.
101. Invite lots of people to other people's parties.
Ask everyone wewe meet, "Hot enough for you?"
Sing the "Barney" theme song as loud as wewe can.
If wewe see kids building a sand castle, say, "That's not a real castle!"
Every time when you're about to bata under the water, yell, "Down periscope!"
Go swimming in a full business suit. If people notice, act like they're the weirdos.
Put sea shell to your ear and announce to first person to pass by, "It's for you!" Repeat several times.
Throw jellyfish around.
Tune radio to all-news station and blast as loud as wewe can, then nod your head and snap your fingers like you're listening to some happenin' tunes.
Act like a sea gull.
Wear t-shirt that says, "I'm the coolest dude on this pathetic beach. No autographs please."
Sing the "Barney" theme song as loud as wewe can.
If wewe see kids building a sand castle, say, "That's not a real castle!"
Every time when you're about to bata under the water, yell, "Down periscope!"
Go swimming in a full business suit. If people notice, act like they're the weirdos.
Put sea shell to your ear and announce to first person to pass by, "It's for you!" Repeat several times.
Throw jellyfish around.
Tune radio to all-news station and blast as loud as wewe can, then nod your head and snap your fingers like you're listening to some happenin' tunes.
Act like a sea gull.
Wear t-shirt that says, "I'm the coolest dude on this pathetic beach. No autographs please."
Materials:
Petroleum Jelly
Eyeshadow,body shimmer, au pigments (for color)
small discardable and microwavable bowl
Discardable stirrer
lipgloss container with lids
Procedure:
1.Scoop some petroleum in the small bowl (more petroleum zaidi gloss!)
2.Microwave for 5 min au completely melted
3.Take out the petroleum and mix in the eyeshadow keep on putting zaidi till wewe reach your desired shade.
4.Mix well. Then pour in your mixture into the lipgloss container. Put in the freewer for 15-30 minutes.
Enjoy!!
Tip:to make flavored lip gloss add kool-aid instead (will stain lips).
Petroleum Jelly
Eyeshadow,body shimmer, au pigments (for color)
small discardable and microwavable bowl
Discardable stirrer
lipgloss container with lids
Procedure:
1.Scoop some petroleum in the small bowl (more petroleum zaidi gloss!)
2.Microwave for 5 min au completely melted
3.Take out the petroleum and mix in the eyeshadow keep on putting zaidi till wewe reach your desired shade.
4.Mix well. Then pour in your mixture into the lipgloss container. Put in the freewer for 15-30 minutes.
Enjoy!!
Tip:to make flavored lip gloss add kool-aid instead (will stain lips).
Okay, so I was sitting on the kitanda last night watching some rubbish televisheni onyesha and texting my boyfriend Liam. Anyway I think he'd had too much sugar that night cause he was all like 'I feel special when I wear my upinde wa mvua colored raincoat' and stuff. So then he text and was like 'I upendo wewe soooooo much' and so I was like 'I upendo wewe more' and he was like 'NO!' and I was like Yes! and he was like 'No cause... cause... cause well I'm getting wewe a birthday present! And so I'm like 'I'm getting wewe one first' (cause his birthday is before mine) and then like ten dakika later he's like damn. And so I'm like 'I win'.
THE END
THE END
A little motavational poem I found link. Enjoy. ;P
At age 4, success is...not peeing in your pants.
___At age 12, success is...having friends.
____At age 16, success is...having a driver's license.
_______At age 20, success is...having sex.
________At age 35, success is...having money.
________At age 50, success is...having money.
_______At age 60, success is...having sex.
_____At age 70, success is...having a driver's license.
___At age 75, success is...having friends.
At age 90, success is...not peeing in your pants.
At age 4, success is...not peeing in your pants.
___At age 12, success is...having friends.
____At age 16, success is...having a driver's license.
_______At age 20, success is...having sex.
________At age 35, success is...having money.
________At age 50, success is...having money.
_______At age 60, success is...having sex.
_____At age 70, success is...having a driver's license.
___At age 75, success is...having friends.
At age 90, success is...not peeing in your pants.
The European Union recently expanded to include a total of 25 member states. Some people are concerned,however,that problems will arise with anemployment,and that high influx of immigrants from the former Eastern block countries will cause difficulties for the the other member states. What are the positive and negative consequences of including former Eastern block countries in the EU? Which do wewe think are greater,the advantages au disadvantages,for the newly expanded,25-member EU?
^^PLEASE someone help me :'(
^^PLEASE someone help me :'(
THE BOYFRIEND GUIDE
1) She walks away from wewe mad *follow her*
2) She stares at your lips *kiss her*
3) When she pushes wewe au hits wewe *grab her and don't let go*
4) When she brushes your hand *grab hers*
5) If she's cold *give her your jacket...or hold her*
6) If she don't talk to wewe first *go talk to her*
7) When she goes to her Marafiki house *prank call her*
THE GIRLFRIEND GUIDE
1) If he pokes wewe *get closer*
2) If he want's a guys night out *don't complain*
3) If he doesn't text back *don't jump to conclusions*
4) If he doesn't say anything *don't think he doesn't care*
5) If he's ticklish *he's a keeper*
6) If he lets wewe wear his clothing *he likes wewe in his stuff*
7) If wewe are tired of waiting for him to make the first songesha *make it yourself*
1) She walks away from wewe mad *follow her*
2) She stares at your lips *kiss her*
3) When she pushes wewe au hits wewe *grab her and don't let go*
4) When she brushes your hand *grab hers*
5) If she's cold *give her your jacket...or hold her*
6) If she don't talk to wewe first *go talk to her*
7) When she goes to her Marafiki house *prank call her*
THE GIRLFRIEND GUIDE
1) If he pokes wewe *get closer*
2) If he want's a guys night out *don't complain*
3) If he doesn't text back *don't jump to conclusions*
4) If he doesn't say anything *don't think he doesn't care*
5) If he's ticklish *he's a keeper*
6) If he lets wewe wear his clothing *he likes wewe in his stuff*
7) If wewe are tired of waiting for him to make the first songesha *make it yourself*
So, it's been five years since wewe passed. I wanted to take a few dakika to remind people of how wonderful wewe were and how much wewe impacted my life. Honestly, even now, I miss talking to you. I miss your upendo heshima on my ukuta and I miss just being able to talk to someone and being to say the things that I can't to anyone else.
Do wewe remember when wewe told me I was ten feet tall and bulletproof? It was almost amusing, but I remember just being pissed off at pumpkinqueen and wanting to throttle her. I also remember that wewe calmed me down and I took a step back and decided not to say anything too stupid.
I wish we'd had zaidi time to be Marafiki and hang out together. I really do. wewe were a wonderful and kind person, with plenty of smarts. And I appreciated every moment of being able to talk to wewe and have someone I could rely on when I needed it.
Thank wewe so much.
R.I.P BLW.
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Do wewe remember when wewe told me I was ten feet tall and bulletproof? It was almost amusing, but I remember just being pissed off at pumpkinqueen and wanting to throttle her. I also remember that wewe calmed me down and I took a step back and decided not to say anything too stupid.
I wish we'd had zaidi time to be Marafiki and hang out together. I really do. wewe were a wonderful and kind person, with plenty of smarts. And I appreciated every moment of being able to talk to wewe and have someone I could rely on when I needed it.
Thank wewe so much.
R.I.P BLW.
<333333333333333333333333333
I noticed some very sad things if wewe replay the first Red Dead after the prequel..
1: Jack's uchungu, chungu line "teach me and your just run away again au something" is now sadder when the prequel reveals John ran off for a whole mwaka when Jack was really little. Jack's clearly still angry.
2: Dutch.. He's some kinda Empty Shell of the man we once knew. The man he and Hosea raised from childhood is now out to kill au capture him. And he clearly hasn't gotten better, mentally. He is now just another crazed enemy.
3: Uncle's death.. Despite having taken a level in jerkass, we feel like we know the man kwa this point. It's like meeting up with an friend... And than watching them get murdered.
4: If wewe have Jack kill Ross, bascally Arthur and John died in vein.. But sadly this is probably the true ending..
5: Seeing Bill and Javier can be rough now..
1: Jack's uchungu, chungu line "teach me and your just run away again au something" is now sadder when the prequel reveals John ran off for a whole mwaka when Jack was really little. Jack's clearly still angry.
2: Dutch.. He's some kinda Empty Shell of the man we once knew. The man he and Hosea raised from childhood is now out to kill au capture him. And he clearly hasn't gotten better, mentally. He is now just another crazed enemy.
3: Uncle's death.. Despite having taken a level in jerkass, we feel like we know the man kwa this point. It's like meeting up with an friend... And than watching them get murdered.
4: If wewe have Jack kill Ross, bascally Arthur and John died in vein.. But sadly this is probably the true ending..
5: Seeing Bill and Javier can be rough now..