Poison Ivy

I’m a straight-up kind of girl I am
I’m a telling it like it is I am
And that’s just the kind of girl I am
Head up, hands up, tell me
You’re a honey kind of boy wewe are
You’re a talented kind of boy wewe are
And that’s just the kind of boy wewe are
Head up, hands up, these are
Headstrong, crazy days
When your mind’s made up and the muziki plays
Headstrong, can wewe feel the beat
Melt down, can wewe feel the heat
Melt down, it’s not a crush
In a hot, hot room we’re in a rush
Headstrong, can wewe feel the beat
Melt down, can wewe feel the heat
Gonna feel alive tonight I am
I’m a positive kind of...

The three little pigs (edited version)

Once appon a time, There were three pigs named Dakota, Kelsey and Jessica. They had a problem... A mbwa mwitu named Gibby was trying to kill them!
"Kelsey, Do wewe want to come with me to go find Jessica?" Dakota asks.
"Sure." majibu Kelsey.
They walk outside and look in the forest only to see Jessica setting up traps for the wolf.
"Jessica, What the f*ck are wewe doing?" Asks Kelsey.
"What does it look like I'm doing...I'm putting up traps to see if I can catch Gibby." She says as she looks at Kelsey with an annoyed expression.
"Calm yourself..Damn!" Says Dakota as...

"My name is Melody Willgrove and I am a werewolf."
"Now I never found myself pretty au anything I am just a normal girl(well as normal as a werewolf girl can be any way).''I am just a normal girl .Though every guy in the pack thinks I am sexy, but I have know idea why .''I mean what so good looking about me I have deep red hair (which has a mind of it own ),I am too skinny (blow away in the wind to skinny ),I am a shorty (5 foot ) ,and I am pale (burn a lot ).''The only two things I like about myself is my grey eyes(their like my dad's ) and my b-cups ,hey if I am going to be skinny I derserve...

I do think that wewe probably should avoid the following sites I am going to list. I will add zaidi to the orodha when I find zaidi sites I think wewe should probably avoid. So if anyone sends wewe viungo to the following sites, wewe have been warned that they could be tricking you. Some of these are obviously bad kwa the name of the url but some of them are very sneaky to trick you.

UNLESS wewe ARE A SICKO I ADVISE wewe NOT TO GO TO THE FOLLOWING SITES

meatspin.com
fingerslam.com
infoslash.com
wowomg.com
2girls1cup.com
2girls1finger.com
lemonparty.org
goatse.cz
cleangirls.org
salsasnack.com
goatsemarathon.com
biblecamp.info...

I'm not drunk, I'm just intoxicated kwa you.
I was so Enchanted kwa your beauty that I ran into that ukuta over there. So I am going to need your name and number for insurance purposes.
If beauty were time, you'd be eternity.
If I were a stop light, I'd turn red everytime wewe passed by, just so I could stare at wewe a bit longer.
Babe, your beauty makes the morning sun look like the dull glimmer of the moon.
You'd better direct that beauty somewhere else, you'll set the carpet on fire.
If I received a nickel for everytime I saw someone as beautiful as you, I'd have five cents.
For a moment I thought I...

1. Her eyes were like two brown circles with big black dots in the center.

2. He was as tall as a 6′3″ tree.

3. Her face was a perfect oval, like a mduara, duara that had its two sides gently compressed kwa a Thigh Master.

4. From the attic came an unearthly howl. The whole scene had an eerie, surreal quality, like when you’re on vacation in another city and Jeopardy comes on at 7:00 p.m. instead of 7:30.

5. John and Mary had never met. They were like two hummingbirds who had also never met.

6. She had a deep, throaty, genuine laugh, like that sound a dog makes just before it throws up.

7. The ballerina...

I don’t know what makes wewe so dumb but it really works.

Anybody who told wewe to be yourself simply couldn’t have aliyopewa wewe worse advice…

Hi there, I’m a human being! What are you?

Shouldn’t wewe have a license for being that ugly?

Don’t let wewe mind wander – it’s far too small to be let out on its own.

Are wewe always this stupid au are wewe making a special effort today?

Sure, I’ve seen people like wewe before – but I had to pay an admission.

If wewe took an IQ test, the results would be negative.

Sure, I’d upendo to help wewe out…now, which way did wewe come in?

Brains aren’t everything....

ANIME! ^____^

An awesome chanzo of entertainment that's basically Japanese cartoons often inspired kwa manga, au Japanese comic-like novels. AND THEY KICKED ASS! :D

Seriously, half my life is just watching anime, and I almost upendo every one I see. And this orodha is celebrating THE 100TH ANNIVERSARY OF.....

Uh, canned bread? :P I don't know, I just wanted to make this list.

The rules are obvious. Only entries from anime I've seen, they have to be from anime, and they have to be FREAKING AWESOME SAUCE! ^__^ (That didn't even make sense.....)

So kick out the popcorn, soda, get comfortable, and enjoy!...

1. Ask him why did he marry a woman like your mom

2. Tell him wewe met a guy in school

3. Sing a song he hates

4(reply to number 3) When he plays a song he likes, ask: "What awful music. How do wewe listen to that crap?"

5. When he is driving you(anywhere), constantly ask "where are we going?"

6. Call him kwa his name[Not so risky, always done it as a kid!]

7. When he lectures you, after he finishes it, ask him: "Ever heard of breath mint?"

8. Tell him that Justin Bieber is your inayopendelewa guy[If wewe hate Bieber, go with Cody Simpson au some who wewe like ALLOT!]

9. Come nyumbani saying wewe found your true...

French Fries are deep fried in horse oil in France.

Kittens are born with blue eyes, but change when they get older.

People born in November are zaidi likely to become serial killers.

Everything wewe see is actually upside down and your brain just flips it around.

You can't actually multi-task.

Easily distracted people are the ones who are the most creative.

When a person appears in your dreams, that person misses you.

Music can lead teens to depression.

You are zaidi likely to dream when wewe are depressed.

Your odor is as unique as your fingerprint.

If wewe tear off paper from bottles, wewe are sexually...

There used to be a mitaani, mtaa named after Chuck Norris, but it was changed because nobody crosses Chuck Norris and lives

Every time Chuck Norris looks into a mirror it breaks. Even glass is not stupid enough to get between Chuck Norris and Chuck Norris.

Chuck Norris can strangle wewe with a cordless phone.

Chuck Norris has already been to Mars; that's why there are no signs of life.

Chuck Norris died 20 years ago, Death just hasn't built up the courage to tell him yet.

Brett Farve can throw a football 50 yds. Chuck Norris can throw Brett Farve even farther.

Some magicans can walk on water, Chuck Norris...

A single drop of sweat from Chuck Norris was found to quench the thirst of an entire african village for 23 straight days. Subsequently, an olympic athlete from that village was disqualified from his event for testing positive for performance enhancing drugs.

Chuck Norris can read lady Gaga's poker face.

Chuck Norris says the alphabet faster backwards then wewe can say it fowards.

When Chuck Norris goes to sleep, he doesn't dream he lives it.

In an alternate universe, Chuck Norris is just a myth. However, he pwns people there anyways.

When Chuck Norris drinks beer, the bia gets drunk.

Ninjas want...

I found this on the internet.

1.    Smile
2.    Laugh
3.    Run your fingers through your hair
4.    Touch them gently on the arm/shoulder
5.    Give them a hug
6.    Tease them
7.    Complement their clothes
8.    Say, "It seems like forever since I last saw you"
9.    Whisper
10.    Offer them a blanket au kanzu, koti if it's cold
11.    Offer to buy them a drink
12.    Lean...

In a pub chemsha bongo the other siku I Lost kwa one point. The swali was, "where do women mostly have curly hair?" Apparently, it's Africa.


One of the other maswali was to name two things commonly found in cells.
It appears that Nigerians and Jamaicans is not the correct answer.


I've heard that apple has scrapped their plans for the new children's iPod, after realizing that iTouch Kids is not a good product name.


There's a new Muslim clothing duka that opened in Toronto but I've been banned from it, after asking to look at some mshambuliaji, mlipuaji wa bomu jackets.


You can say lots of bad things about pedophiles,...

Ghetto Names

Mostly maarufu with the poorer sections of the communities in the United States, ghetto names are becoming zaidi common.
These are some ghetto names sent to us kwa our readers:

Aalissah , Aarionda , AbbyYoYo , Abcd , Abrianna , Adaizala , Aereana , Ajavalon , Akeebu , Akwante , Alamarion , Alashawndre , Alashema , Alezeisha , Aliciandra , Alveonta , Amabufu , Amanisha , Ambrisha , Amereazanisha , Amiracle , Amonteosha , Ananchalant , Anfernee , Angenique , Annestonisha , Antonyishia , Antwanae , Antwanique , Antwonisha , Anukware , Aquamaquisha , Aquanasia , Aquanetta , Aquaniqua ,...

Found this on Google. Hope it makes ya laugh.

1. Set all the alarm clocks to go off in 10-minute intervals

2. Walk up to an employee and tell him/her in an official tone, “Code 3 in housewares,…”and see what happens.

3. Go to the Service dawati and ask to put a bag of M&M’s on lay away.

4. Find one of the workers who is making a pyramid au a display of something and as soon as they are finished with it, ask for the thing that’s on the bottom and have a panic attack until they give it to you.

5. Get on the loud speaker and declare a “Going Out of Business Sale, All Items 99% Off”

6....

Think
1.    1
Realization. Even though it may seem impossible, the truth is, nothing is impossible. If wewe keep thinking it's impossible, then it will be. Have faith
2
Analyze the situation. Create a orodha of "pros" and "cons" to help wewe better understand why you're seeking upendo au acceptance from this person.
2.    3
Don't worry about things wewe can't help. Acknowledge the impossibility as something that is totally out of your hands (ex: marriage, age, sexuality, hang-ups) and know that if something is meant to be, it will be.
3.    4
Don't...