umbongo

For my friend.
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If wewe climb in the saddle, be ready for the ride.

Talk slowly, think quickly.

Never approach a ng'ombe from the front, a horse from the rear au a fool from any direction.

Lettin' the cat outta the bag is a whloe lot easier than puttin' it back.

Brace your backbone and forget your wishbone.

Just 'cause trouble comes visiting doesn't mean wewe have to offer it a place to sit down.

If wewe find yourself in a hole, the first thing to do is stop diggin'.

Don't wake a sleepin' rattler.

Don't squat witn your spurs on.

Every trail has some puddles....

Ways to annoy people in Wal-Mart



Hilarious Ways to be annoying!















"Accidentally" get stuck in one of the frozen chakula doors. Give people strange looks and see if anyone helps wewe out.
Add really funny things to other peoples’ carts and watch them pay for it and see if they notice.
Around krisimasi time, start caroling. Ask for money from the listeners.
As the cashier runs your purchases over the scanner, look mesmerized and say, "Wow. Magic!"
Ask if wewe can buy a shopping cart.
Ask other customers if they have any Grey Poupon.
Ask Someone if they know were they sell little babies!...

1. When wewe get pulled over, say "What's wrong, ossifer, there's no blood in my alcohol?"

2. When he asks why wewe were speeding, tell him wewe wanted to race.

3. When he talks to you, pretend wewe are deaf.

4. If he asks if wewe knew how fast wewe were going, say no, my speedometer only goes to......

5. Ask if wewe can see his gun.

6. When he says wewe aren't allowed, tell him I just wanted to see if mine was bigger.

7. Touch him.

8. When he asks why wewe were speeding, tell him wewe had to buy a hat.

9. Ask him where he bought his cool hat.

10. Refer to him kwa his first name.

11. Pretend wewe are gay and ask...

Some of the many things the dumb 21 faced bitches say in my class i am in mwaka 8 yeah i alisema it mwaka eight they act like deh 18 au sumtin most of dem will become prozies

1. oh look at us were so bad cuz we smoke weed..WTF
2. so did u kiss au snog kiss oh ur boringgg
3. rememba my so called friend gave blahblah a blow job she was serious she told me nt 2 tell bt im tellin EVRi 1
4. i upendo wewe i wanna be wid u 4 eva oh yh me 2 kiss kisssy... UR 12!!!
5 oh im gonna bang wewe oh come pango fight fight fight oh no i broke a nail oh did u im sorry friend yh 4eva bfff
7. i Lost my virginty ooh yh she abused...

Guy's point of view

(Here's the take on relationships from a guy's POV. NOT MINE)
From a guys point of view:

We don't care if wewe talk to other guys.

We don't care if you're Marafiki with other guys.

But when you're sitting inayofuata to us, and some bila mpangilio guy walks into the room
 and wewe jump up and tackle him without even introducing us, yeah.

It doesn't help if wewe sit there and talk to him for ten dakika without
even acknowledging the fact that we're still there.

We don't care if a guy calls you, but at 2 in the morning we do get a
 little concerned.

Nothing is that important at 2 a.m. that it...